[beanster]

So after months of hardly talking to me at all he comes home last night and tells me that he wants me gone right now and goes off on a rant and gets more and more mad.I just sat there and tried to not look at him or anything in particular and eventually he threw the computer to the floor and that was followed by the TV and I ran out and wanted to call 9-1-1 and he tried to prevent me from doing it.I went to a neighbor's house to call from there and he followed me and went into her house and pulled the cable from her phone so I could't call but eventually I did and he ran into our house and locked the doors.So while we were waiting for the police he put everything back into place so it wouldn't look like anything had happened and then made me out to be the crazy person.The cops told him that it would be better for him to go somewhere else for the night which he did.
He called in the morning to apologize but through the grapevine I hear that he tells everybody what a poor victim he is and that I called the police because I am crazy.He wants to take his stuff and move out but here is the rub:
My status is still pending so I cannot work so how am I going to pay for rent?
I talked to his brother who told me things from H's past that make me even more scared.He was physically abusive to his brother who is younger and to his sisters.I asked my BIL if he thinks that H would hurt me and he said he believed that that is possible.So the anger and the narcissism has been going on way before MLC.So what do I do now?

[pumkin2]

So after months of hardly talking to me at all he comes home last night and tells me that he wants me gone right now and goes off on a rant and gets more and more mad.I just sat there and tried to not look at him or anything in particular and eventually he threw the computer to the floor and that was followed by the TV and I ran out and wanted to call 9-1-1 and he tried to prevent me from doing it.I went to a neighbor's house to call from there and he followed me and went into her house and pulled the cable from her phone so I could't call but eventually I did and he ran into our house and locked the doors.So while we were waiting for the police he put everything back into place so it wouldn't look like anything had happened and then made me out to be the crazy person.The cops told him that it would be better for him to go somewhere else for the night which he did.
He called in the morning to apologize but through the grapevine I hear that he tells everybody what a poor victim he is and that I called the police because I am crazy.He wants to take his stuff and move out but here is the rub:
My status is still pending so I cannot work so how am I going to pay for rent?
I talked to his brother who told me things from H's past that make me even more scared.He was physically abusive to his brother who is younger and to his sisters.I asked my BIL if he thinks that H would hurt me and he said he believed that that is possible.So the anger and the narcissism has been going on way before MLC.So what do I do now?

The best thing I would do is get out of this relationship fast.
Just like any addiction drugs, alcohol and abuse will always stay with that person no matter how many times they get help. An abusive relationship can affect you... you can get in high deep depression, you can even take on the abusive standards, you don't want that or need that... run now

[beanster]

I cannot leave as I cannot work or move to another place.Until my legal status is adjusted and I am a resident I cannot do anything.If I could I would have been gone a long time ago.

[pumkin2]

Where are you from? Why do you have to rely on him? Can't you live with someone else??

[beanster]

I'm from Germany and live in Los Angeles now.For years he stalled my paperwork knowing that without it I am dependent on him.There is a provision that I could file as an abused spouse but that is hard to prove.This police report will help if all else fails.