[suddenImpact]

I'll jump right into this... my x and I have been separated for a couple years now, we have joint custody with no set dates, we've always been able to work things out ourselves. Which has been working fine until near the end of last year. All summer long due to her work and school, she would only take our daughter monday's, and every other weekend. Our daughter is 3 and started pre-school this year. All of a sudden my x decided she was going to start taking her random days through out the week. I told her I really didn't want that, especially with our daughter being in school now, she needs stability... well she disagreed and I ended up having to file paperwork to have the court set days for us. My daughter is enrolled in school in MY district, so I'm sure that will help my case. Anyway, a couple weeks before Christmas is when the paperwork from court arrived saying we have a date set as Feb. 8. All of a sudden she decided to keep my daughter from me for all of my family Christmas parties. I literally had to beg her to get my daughter for a few hours Christmas day, and agree to sign something saying she was going to pick her back up before she would bring her over. We finally got things half way civilized again, and a schedule somewhat worked out until our court date... well now she is keeping her from me again, and has decided to take her out of school! I guess I can't do anything about the school part because she's only 3 and not legally required to go yet... I only have a couple more weeks until court, but it is driving me crazy not seeing my daughter! She won't answer any of my calls to even let me know she's OK. I have to fight just going and breaking down her door, because I know that will just hurt me in court. Anyway what I'm wondering, is if I can somehow get my daughter back before our court date, a friend of mine told me that since I have filed paperwork asking for primary custody with the courts, that I am legally able to keep her with me until the courts determine otherwise. Anyone know if there is any truth to that? I live in Michigan if that helps.

Thanks!

[AK lawyer]

... Anyways what I'm wondering, is if I can somehow get my daughter back before our court date, a friend of mine told me that since I have filed paperwork asking for primary custody with the courts, that I am legally able to keep her with me until the courts determine otherwise. Anyone know if there is any truth to that? I live in Michigan if that helps.
...

The non-Michigan specific answer is that no, the fact that you have filed to modify your current arrangement is not a justification for being as unreasonable as your child's mother has been. I suggest that you abide by the maxim that "two wrongs don't make a right" and continue to be cool and reasonable in this situation. I suggest that this strategy is liable to pay off for you at the upcoming hearing.

And, as you probably already know, bite your tongue when the urge comes to badmouth your ex within earshot of your child.

[ScottGem]

I would document all the problems the mother is causing. I would let her continue to build up evidence of her refusal to cooperate. Then bring this all into court to help your case for primary custody.

[Fr_Chuck]

Joint custody is going to be a issue as the child grows if you do not live close enough for the child to easily go to the school, As for as joint I mean split weeks, or even every other week.

Hind sight of course would have been to decide days in the beginning, but at this point there is little you can do before this court date.

The advice given to document everything, with dates and times is the best

[suddenImpact]

I was afraid that would be the answer lol, I just really miss my daughter, and don't want her to be out of school... she loves to go, and I don't want to ruin it for her. Thanks all for your advice, I guess I'll just have to wait it out.