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Just Looking · Jan 23, 2011, 12:07 PM

We agreed last week to take in my next-door neighbor's 12 year old golden retriever. The husband had just passed away. The wife is 88 years old and felt overwhelmed by everything, including caring for their dog. She is also going to sell her house and move near one of her daughters (in another state).

The dog was doing well the first couple of days, including getting along well with my 18 month old lab. He was eating and even going for short walks (maybe 1/2 mile), though he tires easily and has some trouble getting up and down. However, he seems to be getting very weak in the last few days and is not eating. When I try to get him to eat, he'll eat some and get sick later. We thought he might just have the flu at first but it's been going on for several days, so we took him to the vet yesterday and they didn't find anything wrong.

I'm wondering if it is grief on his part or possibly just old age. He got sick three times last night. I thought that I'd wait for him to ask to be fed this morning. It's 11:00 am here now and he hasn't asked. He isn't following me around like usual, and he's just lying in one spot with his eyes slightly open. He just isn't responding to pets, being talked to, or anything else. I thought maybe a visit from my neighbor would help but she declined – too many memories. Any suggestions?

Just Looking · Jan 23, 2011, 03:33 PM

Whatever the problem was, he seems to be better now. I left for 2 hours to go grocery shopping and when I returned he was walking around and wanted to eat. I fed him a bowl of rice. Now I hope he keeps it down.

Wondergirl · Jan 23, 2011, 03:41 PM

Suddenly a new house (for him), new family, new master, new doggy friend. That's a lot for an old dog to take in and deal with. Do you have a shirt or article of clothing that smells like his deceased owner (or even the wife), or his old bed, toys, blanket? That might help him bridge the change.

My guess is he is grieving. Talk to him a lot. Touch him too.

Wondergirl · Jan 23, 2011, 06:00 PM

I read Last Dog on the Hill: The Extraordinary Life of Lou by Steve Duno (one of the best dog books I've ever read, btw). Steve rescued a Rottie mix and kept him all the dog's life. The last chapters are especially poignant as the dog ages. Steve would lay down on the floor with him, getting down to his level. I've done that with my cats, and it seems to be comforting.

Maybe try that too -- lie next to him and talk with him in a soft voice, maybe sing softly, while petting him.

Just Looking · Jan 23, 2011, 06:03 PM

Thanks, but I think I will pass on the singing. It would scare him. :p

He's doing so much better this afternoon. I've been in the kitchen cooking all afternoon and he's by my side. Every time I talk to him or pet him he's wagging his tail. For the last few days, he wouldn't respond at all. I have oatmeal cookies in the oven and he's watching it very closely. A dog after my own heart. :)

I love to read. I think I'll look into that book. It sounds really sweet.

Wondergirl · Jan 23, 2011, 06:17 PM

Sing softly? Hum? Read passages to him from the books below?

I'm so glad to hear he's doing better. I never thought of oatmeal cookies.

I'm guessing he knew you before he came to live with you.

More books to add to your list --

Wesley the Owl - Stacey O'Brien (Her uncle is Cubby, the kid drummer, on the first Mickey Mouse Club in the '50s.) Stacey is a biologist in an owl lab and adopts/raises a barn owl from infancy. The owl becomes her best friend and lives with her at home for 19 years.

Merl's Door by Ted Kerasote (Merle's Door by Ted Kerasote - Interview - Harcourt)

Dog Years by Mark Doty (Dog Years)

And of course

The Daily Coyote by Shreve Stockton (her book: The Daily Coyote The Book ; her web site: The Daily Coyote). Charlie the Coyote starts every day for me. Shreve posts a new photo each day and is my friend on FB.

Just Looking · Jan 23, 2011, 06:23 PM

Okay, I'll try the soft singing and humming. I need to practice up for future babies anyway. ;)

I just gave him a small bite of a cookie. He loved it. I'm a little worried about his stomach for now, but we'll see how this goes.

Thanks for the book ideas. Okay time to sit down with my husband and guests to watch the end of the Jets/Steelers game. Thanks for all the great tips.