[Green Elephant]

Hello all,

I seem to wear things down, and quickly. I wear holes into my pants, fray my hoodies apart, and seem to have to buy a new laptop bag every other month.

As of late, I realized that I have a strange obsession. I've heard of many different forms of OCD, but I'm not sure if that's what this is.

The strap to my laptop bag started separating a bit from the actual bag, and it bothered me so much that I either wanted to rip it off, or literally sew the hell out of it. The feeling of anxiety washed over me as I either wanted it to be ripped apart, or cemented on.

I eventually ripped it off out of frustration, but when I got this new bag, the idea of the strap ripping off propelled me to sew it 5 times over again, and I obsessively pull at it to test it's strength.

It's becoming an issue where I feel anxious even when I see that's not tearing. I constantly have to check to see if it started to separate when I wasn't watching it.

Any advice or other things that you've heard would be appreciated.

Thank you!

[Jake2008]

I don't know if your need to focus on your computer bag, and repeatedly sew, fix, or test it, can be diagnosed as OCD or not from the little that you have said. An entire person is worth more than the sum of one part, and an understanding in an overall sense would be helpful to determine if this behaviour indicates something more of a mental health issue, or not.

If you can provide a little history. Your life, your work, are you married, do you have children. Do you have any other behaviours that affect your day to day life. Does the compute bag problem prevent you from having a normal day in the overall scope of things. Are there, or have there been mental health issues in your history.

More information would be appreciated.

[Green Elephant]

Well, I'm 23 years old, and I go to an art school. I have a great girlfriend and family, and I really am blessed. I have a few strange tendencies, but nothing that effects my day.

When I started college I actually had extreme anxiety, but thanks to help desk, and research it's gotten a lot better.

This isn't something that affects my day, it's just an annoyance that I have to keep doing it. Not history of mental illnesses or anything, although my three brothers are all on xanax for anxiety and depression. (I disagree with this action, but who am I to say?)

[Jake2008]

Thanks for that green elephant! Love the nic.

I wouldn't discount treatment, or running this by your family Doctor, but, if this is the one thing that bugs you, and doesn't affect your everyday life and routine, maybe it is just an annoying thing that has become stuck in your craw so to speak.

OCD is not always treated with medication, particularly if the major areas of your life are balanced and under control. If this fixation is, or becomes a catalyst for worstening behaviour, in a compulsive, obsessional way, then it is time to seek help. Be cognizant of how much of life is being afffected, and to what degree.

A friend of mine was obsessed with locked doors. He lived on the 14th floor, and he would leave okay, making sure the door was locked, but would travel up and down the elevator at least a dozen times before he could finally let go.

What eventually ended up happening, was that it became a battle of wills within himself. Him fighting hard to not give in and re check for the 10th time, and maintaining his resolve to get on with his day. Until he was on medication, he told me that when he eventually gave in, it was a high for him, because the battle was temporarily over.

Then it all started up again, the constant negotiating with himself, not being able to stop the behaviour, giving in, enjoying the 'high', or temporary relief, each time beating himself up more because he could not control it.

Medication was a Godsend for him. And it was nice not waiting an hour for him to bounce up and down in the elevator too.

So try not to think of this as something you need to suffer with, if it becomes too important, and controlling it becomes near impossible. OCD is treatable, and as such, why wouldn't you get help- if you need it.

[lJ.]

What are all of your "strange tendencies"?

[Green Elephant]

Nothing I feel is too far out of the ordinary.

Sometimes I'll get really anxious about my plans not working out, and not having enough time to do all the things I want.

I get anxious thinking about where I want to live when I'm ready to have a family. (There are SO many cities in SO many states, let alone countries)

Like I said, I can't stand clothing, and accessories coming un-sewn.

And for some reason, I'm really, really scared of dying and losing people close to me.

But in spite of these things, I feel I am very happy, and have been very blessed. I said before that when I was starting college, the anxiety almost crippled me. But I feel I got the best of it through relentless research and dedication.

Thanks for taking the time :)

[lJ.]

Thanks for adding that information.
I think that your symptoms more lean towards an anxiety disorder, than OCD, and the symptoms of those two diseases can be similar sometimes. Have you experienced any loss? What is your age range? Has anything changed in your life recently? You may have become comfortable with your behavoir, and feel the need to not change it. Everyone at some point may experience a bit OCD symptoms, but not have the disease. But I would say that your recent post and some things in your original post, describe certain anxiety symptoms. You could consult your doctor if it continues, worsens, or if you just feel it's best. Try to relax, and think about what will happen when you don't fix the string. It seems like you are concerned with your future, but try to work little goals in your present to reach it, and understand by the time you have to make those decisions, you probably won't be as anxious about them. Just try to stay happy and healthy. Also you say you get anxious about your plans not working out.. do you mean time wise not working out, like not having enough time to complete them? Or do you mean in general them just not happening the way you planned? What do you do that makes you run out of time in the end anyway? Try not to think too much about the number of cities in states, you don't need to know that now, and you may not ever need to. If you're comfortable and happy where you are, why make a sudden change. To add, I don't have anxiety disorder, but I've had symptoms, so maybe that's what you're having. But you can always go to your doctor and describe your symptoms for some tips and help. Good luck!

[claytondog]

I have similar symptoms, but about different things. When I drive my car, the little noises, rattles, etc. all drive me bonkers. I sometimes drive w/ my mp3 player cranked all the way up to block it all out. I know the noises are normal, but they irritate me beyond belief. At home, I have to constantly do little repairs because I feel like everything is decaying, coming apart, etc. I repair stuff that doesn't need repairing just because I'm afraid it might "come loose" or fail one day. This is irrational but that's my big anxiety disorder. I keep hoping that one day I'll just get better but I get worse with age. Don't think this helps you at all, except to know that there are other people out there who share your frustration. To everyone who knows me at work, they'd be surprised to read this and know it was me, because I'm in upper management in an engineering department and always act like I have everything so "together". Well, I think we all have our idiosyncrasies. Best of luck to you.