[yayuii]

So, here's my story.

I was in a long-distance-relationship with my ex for 6 months. I met him on a site and he lives severe kilometers away from me.. We started with casual convos, aka "hi, how are u" and that sh@t.
After a while, he asked seeking out my opinion on things and vice-versa. We became really good friends and talked to each other almost daily. This is until one day he started distancing himself from me, saying that I should find another friend and that he isn't a good friend for me. I didn't know why he was suddenly saying that. I abided his wishes though and left him alone. However, he came crying to me after a while and said he couldn't take it anymore. I asked him if he was in love with me. He didn't reply for a few days, but then he said yes.. I wasn't sure what to think of this. I had feelings for this man, but I wasn't sure if this long-distance thing was right.
I did soul-searching, only to find out that my feelings for him would grow stronger over time. I confessed my feelings to him one day and he didn't respond to me after that.. it took a couple of days. We were extremely happy we found one another and we were very alike in many many ways. We did have our fights and very happy times and grew together.
There was one problem though.. he had cancer. It was devastating. He already lost hope and said I should leave him to die, but I had very strong feelings.. I couldn't. I got him to fight it and he didn't understand why I cared so much about him. Why I would go this far. But he ended up fighting his cancer and he's now healing. This experience drew us together to unimaginable levels.. We were soulmates.

But then.. he met another girl. I sensed us drifting apart, but we still loved each other.. She was someone who broke up with her boyfriend 4 days ago and was out to get this guy. I couldn't have guessed this because he was deeply in love with me, but distancing.. I knew he had stress. However, then came the day when he said "We need to talk".
He told me he loved this girl very much and that he loves me "beyond romance" (W.T.F! ). I was devastated and that girl was saying nasty stuff about me, even after the break up. I maintained NC and said to myself I would talk to him after a month. So I did, but his girlfriend found out and went bonkers. He was pretty mad at her.
I said it's the best if we don't talk for a while and he agreed. The nastiness continued though. She bad-mouths me to my ex's friends and family. She says I'm a "whore", accused me of stealing my ex back from her every five seconds etc..
I wanted to find out if my ex still cares.. so I got his cousin to make him jealous - he went nuts. But the next day, he said he got over it and only sees me as a friend now =/ w.t.f anyway?
I found out from our mutual friend that he said I never truly loved him. It was after his cousin made my ex jealous. It broke my heart.. He told his cousin that he will be nervous around me and that's why he tries avoiding me. He has feelings for me but only sees me as a friend, W.T.F?
Can someone shed light into this?

a) Why is he so nervous?
b) Could it be because of that "lie"?
c) How can you hold feelings for someone, but still see them as a friend?

[crazy_kendall3]

My exboyfriend Anthony and me grew up as best friends. I never thought of him in that way before. You know, just as a brother. So one day there was this field trip in school to rollerland(skating arena) and it was a couples skate. He came up to me, and asked me to go skate with him. I didn't think anything of it. But we avoided each other the rest of the week. Well we had Sunday school together.. and he asked me out. He said that he had major feelings for me, and he's so sorry that things went wrong. He just wants to be with me. So I denied him. But then I realized.. that I miss him. And.. I kind of liked him. So we started dating.. It was awesome. We were like 2 halves of a whole. Well I broke up with him mid March. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. So during the summer, I dated him again, and he dumped me. He said he had major feelings for me, and he really is sorry. But were better off as friends. And here we are.. 4 years later, and were still trying to rekindle our friendship. This is the 1st time in 4 yrs.. that we even said a word to each other. But were getting there.

-Do you see where I'm going with this?
.. Your ex was nervous because he cared for you, and yet, he felt like he needed a break because you too are just too good as friends. Yet, he isn't as close to you, because of the sad break up.
-I don't think its because of the lie.. I think its because he found someone else, and he won't admit his feelings.
-You love them enough to let them go. Sometimes.. it the right thing to do.
:) hope I helped.

[talaniman]

Your feelings seem to be deeper than his, and having gone through a shared experience, of course there was a bond, and attachment, but not necessarily romantic on both sides.

I wanted to find out if my ex still cares.. so I got his cousin to make him jealous - he went nuts. But the next day, he said he got over it and only sees me as a friend now =/ w.t.f anyway?

This is after he found someone else, and it seems you butted into this with some game, that was surely meant to break them up, and have him for yourself, when you actually, I think, should have bowed out of this situation gracefully, and left him alone. There were an awful lot of assumptions by you, and clearly he saw you as a friend, because you helped him through a difficult time, but you ignored everything because you thought his feelings were as deep for you, as yours were for him. Getting a girlfriend should have woke you up to the truth.

If you can see the facts clearly now, leave him alone, and do your own thing, and let him do his.

[jordynn]

Leave it. But never go back.