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crazy_kendall3 · Sep 6, 2010, 06:57 PM

I met this guy when I was 23. He said the moment he saw me, he couldn't breathe. It was like I was shining, and nobody existed. And believe me, I saw the way he looked. He was serious. But while we were dating, I was in wal-mart, and I accidentally ran my cart into another man. (im not kidding) The moment I saw him, it was like I heard singing. Everything around me stopped and all I could hear was this man apologizing, and saying "miss, miss?" Well we talked, and exchanged phone numbers. That night, I called up my boyfriend. I asked him if he loved me. He said we were destined to be together. That we were SOULMATES. Then he asked why. So I told him. And him, being the christian that he is, told me to meet with this guy. So I did. Over the past 4 months.. I knew everything about this guy, and I was in love. So I ended it with my current boyfriend. Me and this new guy started dating, and are married now 47 years. We have 7 kids, and life couldn't be better. I am a successful Marine Bioligist, and he is a Marine now 21 years. Master gunny to be exact. But now, 24 years later, I still think to myself. If me and my husband were soulmates... then why did my peter, my old boyfriend believe we were. So I spent days trying to find him. And when I did, we talked. He is not married, and he said that he's sorry that he let me go. That he lost his true soulmate. Well I apologized, and left. And here I am, wondering. If soulmates were real, then how come he didn't find his yet. And how come I believed he was mine.. until I met John.. my husband? Sorry this was so long, I just want to know. I mean its been bothering me for 24 yrs. That's a very long time. So please help.

Cat1864 · Sep 6, 2010, 07:32 PM

I don't believe in soul-mates as such. I do believe in 'meant to begin'.

We have many chances to begin something special with different people. However, we have to take the chance and do the work to keep the relationship strong and healthy like you have done with your husband.

You were meant to meet Peter and to get to know him as part of learning more about what you needed in a relationship. While Peter may have wanted it to be more, I don't think on deeper level that it was that way for you. I am sure that Peter had other chances at 'meant to begins' but either ignored them or pushed them aside because he didn't want to move on and give himself another chance. On the other hand, you and John have worked hard for all these years through the ups and downs and built a relationship and a future together.

Peter was/is alone because he wants to be. He made his choices like you made yours. Enjoy your family and those you love.

silverlining · Sep 6, 2010, 08:54 PM

I believe in soul mates I think you ended up with yours..

Why after so many years of a happy marriage, children etc. Would you question this? Do you know how many people go through life and never find what you have..

It doesn't matter what this ex boyfriend believes.. If you were meant to be with him then you wouldn't have left him for your current husband. It's that simple :)

talaniman · Sep 7, 2010, 05:34 AM

I believe in soul mates, they are the ones that go through life with you. I think we all can have one, and we may find more than one, but a true soul mate is the one that's there everyday, and finding them, and losing them is a part of life. Sometimes we think we have found ours, but time, and reality may not agree, and we have to move on. Those that do, find theirs, or enjoy the looking, those that don't, well they just never do. Life is funny that way, but it is, what it is. Whatever you make it.

We are responsible for our own happiness, each, and every one of us. So don't dwell to long when you find someone who is not. You have to really count your own blessings and pray for those that are still looking for theirs.

lemon14 · Sep 26, 2010, 02:54 AM

Well, I believe in soul mates, but if you felt good with your husband and I imagine that you had a wonderful life together if the marriage lasted 47 years, I think you shouldn't bother about Peter. Yes, it is normal to care about him and to be bothered about this situation, but if you and Peter would have been soul mates I think you would have felt this very deeply. At the moment you think you were soul mates because he convinced you that you are his soul mate and so he should be for you.

If you have the time and if you hadn't see/read "The notebook" (by Nicholas Sparks) I recommend it to you. I think this would inspire you and maybe you'll find the right answer inside you one day.

JoeCanada76 · Sep 26, 2010, 04:14 AM

I believe we are all soulmates but thinking of soulmates in a different way. Anybody you meet. Anybody you connect with, at one time or another I think there was always that connection. Whether it be strong or week. Your old boyfriend, you can not think about what he went through, is going through. You were with him at the time. He may regret letting you go but you both made that decision. Obviously you made the right decision for yourself. There is nothing for you to apologize to him about. That is the past. You heard singing with your husband, all things have went very well. That was meant to be. You have no control over your old boyfriends life. He can chose whatever he wants in life. He needs to mature and grow and realize that everything happens for good reason and move on as well.