[Crimson128]

I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year now. He's a year younger than me. I'm 20 and he's 19. We met in the first year of university, and we've been close ever since then, he is my best friend. I know he really loves me, he doesn't always say the right things, but he does the most outrageous things for me, he'd fly out to see me only for a few hours, if I utter the words "i love that" to an outfit or handbag or perfume he would surprise me with it eventually, he is truly very thoughtful, he makes me laugh when I'm feeling down.

Still, my head tells me to leave him; some of the things he says to me is so hurtful, its making me tear up as I write this, he says his previous gf's were much prettier than me, and it is technically true - he says his friends make fun of him because he settled for me when he could have any girl he wanted, he admitted to me that he has sexual dreams about his drop-dead-gorgeous ex very often. Why should any girl be told that she's not as pretty as another?
He knows it hurts me, I get so insecure but he doesn't let me forget. When I do get angry, he gets furious as to why I'm angry, because he didn't technically cheat or anything, its just the way he makes me feel, I hate feeling insecure and he brings out all of my insecurities. I feel like I'm not good enough.
And I hate it!
My head also tells me that Its not going to work in the long run, we love each other to death, but, I feel like he's only in this relationship for the company and the sexual aspects, I don't feel like he loves me for me, when on the other hand, I truly love him for who he is, I love the person he is and I can go on and on about it but he can't do the same about me, he says he loves me because he feels I understand him, I do understand him, so what exactly is the difference between me as your love and as your best friend.

Im also scared that I might fall even deeper and deeper in love with him, and more used to him than I'd like, its going to fail and I know it, so why stay when its doomed? When I'm going to get hit the hardest and while he has this gorgeous girl, whom he'd apparently die for right there for him if I decide to leave?

[Devorameira]

Your relationship is verbally and emotionally abusive. This type of abuse can be detrimental to your happiness and peace of mind. Believe me, it won’t get better - IT WILL GET WORSE!

Your boyfriend sounds like a self-absorbed, egotistical, narcissist. His obnoxious comments come from his own insecurities and issues. If he puts you down, it makes him feel more powerful. It’s the common bully tactic - pick on someone weaker to make yourself feel stronger. Pretty crappy, isn’t it?

He has no problem treating you in this disrespectful manner. He’s treating you like you’re less a person than he is and your feelings don’t count – without so much as a itty bitty bit of guilt or remorse.

His unacceptable behavior has been positively reinforced because you let him get away with it. By tolerating being treated in such a cruel manner, you’re saying to him, “You’re right, I’m not worth anything so go ahead and stomp on me like a dirty, worn out doormat.”

Don’t you see the horrible cycle here? You say you love him and don’t want to lose him, so you accept his mistreatment, which then lowers your self-confidence and depresses you, and he keeps treating you badly because he knows he can. And the destructive pattern continues.

It’s time for you to start loving and caring for yourself - the way you deserve. You are the most important person in your world, so why are you not taking the best care of you that you possibly can?

Dump him - He's a moron... why in the world would you put up with this stuff. If he's this immature, what about him makes him attractive to you? You deserve better!

[loulaz]

I know its extremely hard ,but believe me this guy doesn't love u , because if he really does he wouldn't care about you beieng the most beutifull or the sexiest girl around , he would love you for who you are , and he wouldn't care about his friends. I think that he really likes you or as you said for sexual aspects or haavin a good company that's all, U REALLY Got to LEAVE him before he leaves U.. and I'm sorry 4 saying that

[Crimson128]

Wow I honestly feel like I needed that reality check, you guys are right. It's definitely illogical that I be with him. I was really emotional last night, and this morning, if I had not read your comments and thoughts I would probably push my feelings aside.
Thanks

[SimpleguyJoe]

I wanted to rep you again Devorameira but couldn't ;( but maybe just break up with him, reality checks are good for people from time to time, but it very well could be entirely over if you break it off.

Fact of the matter is your relationship is abusive and you owe yourself better.

[sully123]

That is not love, and this guy doesn't love you. He says hurtful things to you, and I wouldn't give him the time of day. He is cruel and mentally abusive. Get your dignity and respect and walk away from this jerk, before you get in any deeper.

[Homegirl 50]

He does not love you, he can be with you and treat you bad and you let him.
Love is not cruel and hurtful.

Leave this guy alone. He is not good to you or good for you. Staying with him will only break you as a person.

[Crimson128]

Thank you all for your responses. I don't mean to defend him or anything I just want to let you know that, when I do confront him and tell him that these things hurt (or even when I don't; he sees it in my face) he tells me that he's just telling me the truth, and the truth does hurt sometimes, he tells me I should get angry because he doesn't lie.
I stopped talking to him, you are all right - the person I love shouldn't hurt me like that.
We're both away on holiday, if I do break up with him, I'd like to do so face to face.
Thank you all again, for your support

[Homegirl 50]

He says doesn't lie, but he is cruel, insensitive and cocky. He behaves like the 19 year old boy he is. Leaved this boy alone. He is so not worth the heartache.
No male with any kind of sense or affection for a person would say such things and then tell you you're being silly if you are offended.
He is either stupid and socially inept or just a creep.

[woodsmith06]

He says doesn't lie, but he is cruel, insensitive and cocky. He behaves like the 19 year old boy he is. Leaved this boy alone. He is so not worth the heartache.
No male with any kind of sense of affection for a person would say such a thing and then tell you you're being silly if you are offended.
He is either stupid and socially inept or just a creep.

I agree. I know and apologise if this sounds harsh but you should find someone else. Perhapse some one a little older a more mature

[TrueFaith]

I really think your HEAD is right in this case.. you must! And I say Must listen to it...

Leave this relationship now, before you lose all of yourself in it.

Leave it for your own good. Find someone that will love you and you can love