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Gemini54 · Dec 17, 2009, 01:37 PM

He sounds confused about his sexuality to me.

I wouldn't make a move on someone that has a partner - he needs to sort his own $hit out.

All I would do is ask him, straight out, why he comes on so strong to you.

If you make a move on him, you're going to be the bad guy forever.

Patrick Brown · Dec 17, 2009, 01:48 PM

Should I just wait for him or what?
It is really ing me up big time, thinging of what could be

jaime90 · Dec 17, 2009, 01:50 PM

Don't wonder, just ask him straight out like Gemini said: " why is he coming on so strong?" that's the only way to find out.

Patrick Brown · Dec 17, 2009, 02:09 PM

I think your right, now its just the part of gathering the balls to do it.lol
I hope I am right, but if I am not... I think it would be best if one of us moved out to give the other one space and me time to see the fact it is never going to happen

jaime90 · Dec 17, 2009, 02:13 PM

You may get a "not interested," or a weird look, but you won't die.

Patrick Brown · Dec 17, 2009, 04:53 PM

Thanks all for the advice:D

hheath541 · Dec 17, 2009, 06:16 PM

From the little bit you told us about him, I honestly don't think he'll end the friendship if you confess your feelings. If you make a move and he isn't interested, you could end up scaring him and damaging your friendship. I think your best bet is to just state your feelings simply and straight forward.

Try not to expect anything from him. If he thinks you expect him to respond a certain way it may spook him.

Patrick Brown · Dec 17, 2009, 06:38 PM

So how do I go about teling him?:D

hheath541 · Dec 17, 2009, 07:08 PM

However you think best. You know him better than we do and are better able to judge how he'll react to different scenarios.

Cat1864 · Dec 18, 2009, 06:30 AM

He is in a relationship. Doesn't matter if it is good or bad.

While I think it is permissible to tell him YOU are Bi or, as a friend, to ask him what's up with how he acts around you, I think you need to keep in mind that HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

Telling him how you feel or 'making a move on him' would be putting both of you and her in a very awkward position. He has to deal with his relationship without having someone lined up to take her place.

You seem to want to encourage him to hop from one relationship to another and that is the WORST thing that could happen for either of you. It would mean that he hasn't given himself time to deal with the current/past relationship before starting a new one. It would mean that all the baggage he is packing now would be placed on you to carry and that is not fair to you. You may think right now that you can handle it (a lot of people have thought the same thing-read some other threads-they were wrong), but I doubt it would take long before you started trying to get out of the relationship or worried that he was moving on to someone else.

Patrick Brown · Dec 20, 2009, 09:01 AM

I have been tryngfor days now to tell him but I can't do it, a friend of mine told me if I distance myself from him that it would help me to, so I am going to tr and do that

Cat1864 · Dec 20, 2009, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by Patrick Brown

I have been tryngfor days now to tell him but I can't do it, a friend of mine told me if i distance myself from him that it would help me to, so i am going to tr and do that

That is probably for the best. He needs to decide what he wants because I think he is confusing himself by playing games with you as well as trying to keep up with his current relationship. I also think you have been so close to him for awhile now that you may be confusing yourself about how you really feel about him.

Giving yourself time and space to deal with how you feel plus giving yourself a chance to meet other people is a good idea.

Good luck.

Jake2008 · Dec 20, 2009, 01:22 PM

If he knows you are bi, I doubt that he would be surprised at you asking him what's up with his behaviour toward you.

However, that is also putting the cart before the horse, and no matter what kind of preference you have, if one person is involved with another person (no matter what you think of it), it is off limits.

At some point should he be single, that would be the time to ask him.

Until then, keep your interest to yourself.

Patrick Brown · Dec 29, 2009, 08:18 PM

This walking away is harder than I taught:(
I need help and advice.. :D

smoothy · Dec 30, 2009, 05:46 AM

Originally Posted by Patrick Brown

this walking away is harder than i taught:(
i need help and advice..:D

Walking away is never easy... but as an adult its one of those things you just HAVE to do from time to time.

Can't sugar coat it... if its your favorite snack... favorite passtime... a bottle of booze, a bad relationship. When you should do it then you have to just do it.

Cat1864 · Dec 30, 2009, 08:03 AM

Patrick, I am going to suggest that you develop some interests that take up your time and limit the amount of time you would normally have available for him.

Continuing Education classes, the gym, volunteer work, getting involved in your community (theater, community center based classes, etc.) are ways that you can use to put distance between you and help you meet more people broadening your circle of friends. Maybe even meeting someone you might want to date once you feel like you have allowed the feelings for him to dissipate.

Patrick Brown · Jan 6, 2010, 04:08 PM

Yeah I think I should do something like that, thanks everyone :D

Cat1864 · Jan 7, 2010, 12:22 PM

Good luck and have fun. :)

Patrick Brown · Feb 12, 2010, 03:57 PM

Hello long time no info.lol,
My story has take a real turn... the chap I was talking about broke up with his girlfriend and a week later things happened between us, its all secret and one min he wants me the next he don't, so am sort of confused... I don't get how if you are having "relations" with another guy, how you can still say your are straight... it don't make sense...
Look at it this way, I would have been an a lot smarter if I walked away at the start. To think that something that you wanted so bad could turno round and hurt you so much isn't worth thinking about, because I have him but at the same tim I don't have him

hheath541 · Feb 12, 2010, 04:31 PM

Sounds like he's confused, and it's scaring him. Give him time to figure out who he is and what he wants. He may come back to you. He may not. Just give him the time he needs, and let him know that you're not going to pressure him to label himself before he's ready.