[justcurious55]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ml#post2110117

Guess he was asking about height

[Alty]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ml#post2110117

guess he was asking about height

There goes our fun.

I still think we need more details then this.

[Gemini54]

Well I always though he was talking about height not the size of his member.. just shows how boring I am!

Anyway, to the OP, how short are you talking about? Jockey short? Napoleon Bonaparte short? Danny De Vito short?

I need to have a sense of this before I can answer, but the last 2 guys I mentioned have been very successful in their own ways.

I suggest it's about your energy, not about your height. Hell, even Mini Me was going out with a fashion model wasn't he?

[jaime90]

Women, generally speaking, won't respect a man who doesn't respect himself. (we all know that deep down none of us much respect ourselves, it's something most of us need to work on.) It also depends on the woman... I'm engaged to a 6'1'' Marine, my twin sister is dating a 5'11'' emo kid... It's all about personal opinion- no one is quite the same.

[onlineguy]

Girls / Guys I just don’t get this? Need clarity of thought here.

As a guy, if I am physically attracted to a woman I have an emotional desire to connect with her, an emotional desire to show indications of interest that I like her. (Talk to her, touch her arm, laugh with her, want to spend time with her, put myself in a position where she will be etc).

(Excluding the effects of shyness on this process).

However if I don’t find the girl physically attractive but like her personality then I see the girl as a friend, like spending time with her but I don’t look to connect with her. (No emotional desire / attraction). I will therefore enjoy her company but won't look to single her out to talk to her, touch her arm, laugh with just her or want to spend time with just her.

What is puzzling me is female responses??

I would have thought exactly the same applies to females as well as males! But this does not appear to be the case?

The dilemma I am finding is that woman I find attractive don’t show signs of emotional interest or IOI but the women who I don’t find attractive do show these signs.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that I am not found as physically attractive as the women I am attracted to. But the women who I am not attracted to find me attractive.

Since I don’t feel unattractive or any less attractive than the women I find attractive, this leaves me troubled by a seemingly negative response from attractive women, frustrated by this and angry because I don’t feel this way inside. (If that makes sense!).

Leaving me with a choice of being single (lonely), or having to have a relationship with someone who I am not attracted to. (I could not fake a full relationship).

Am I reading this all wrong, is my perception of how women view attraction right or wrong? I am very mixed up on this and could do with some honest clarity…………

[Enigma1999]

Hello Onlineguy,

I don't think that it's right or wrong... I think it's nothing. As a woman, I will tell you that I have dated men that are very attractive and some that if I were to walk down the street and see them, I wouldn't look twice. I am the type of person that I need personality... Some of the very good looking men that I have dated have been rude and obnoxious, not to mention dumb! Some of the men I wasn't that attracted to were very witty, funny, compassionate, and intellegent. I am only giving you my take on this situation. Other peple might have a much different take on this. Also, to me anyway, some people try to use their looks to their advantage, so they might feel as if they want you to pursue them, not the other way around. They could be afraid of rejection. This doesn't mean that attractive women aren't attracted to you...

Let me ask you, do you try to pursue these "attractive" women?

[talaniman]

I think your learning the lesson about the best way to be attractive to females. As a friendly guy not looking for anything.

Your probably more honest, open, and engaging when you don't have the high expectations of winning, or getting something from her. More confident too, since its easier being yourself, and not trying to impress her!

[jaime90]

Attraction is going to depend on the woman. I am not, by ANY means, attracted to the artsy, hardcore punk rocker men that my twin sister is attracted to- and we share DNA.

It is a false statement to say that all women you find attractive are not attracted to you... Have you ever met ALL women? Don't narrow yourself down. Instead of feeling like you have the two options of being lonely or faking a relationship, you could always be patient and wait for a woman who you are attracted to, and who is attracted to you to come along. Also, I agree with Talaniman.

[HistorianChick]

I have also found this to be true in my own personal experiences. One of my best guy friends would be a perfect mate, if we found each other attractive. We don't; therefore, we are best of friends.

Why is it that you're attracted to people who aren't attracted to you? Well, that's life. That's they way it goes sometimes. I know that I've been attracted to people that I shouldn't be attracted to... and that turns out horribly bad.

I just think that in your case, you just haven't found that "one" that is right for you. Does that even make sense? I mean, that "one" that is The One will be attracted to you physically and intellectually.

To say that "all" women that are not attracted to you are your type is being stereotypical - and I know that's not what you meant. You just haven't found her yet.

[twinkyofalla]

For most women, they prefer more on <a href="http://mysexystories.com/blog/2010/02/19/whats-more-important-looks-or-personality">personality</a> because women are more sensitive than men. You can see that on society. There are many women who go for older guys.

[twinkyofalla]

For most women, they prefer more on personality because women are more sensitive than men. You can see that on society. There are many women who go for older guys.

[jaffeyjoeblaze]

Women take looks as the appetizer to settle the hunger but take personality as the entrée to fulfill the need of sustenance and to get their nutrition...

[onlineguy]

Too many similar questions. Multiple threads merged.

As a guy I am attracted to beautifull women. But I never seem to get any indications of interest or attraction from these women.

I have to pursue them and therefore risk the rejection.

This is sooo wrong. By persueing them I am showing them that they are of higher emotional value to me then I am to them...

This is not what I want. I want an attractive women to want me as much as I want her on equal terms...

How do become on the emotional higher or equal ground so that she wants me as much as I want her, without the pursuit!!

(Same for getting back the attention / attraction of exes).

[redhed35]

I've looked at a few of your other threads,most relate to how to get the attention or gain emotional higher ground as you put it.

The one thing that seems to be lacking is self confidence and lots of self esteem.

A women you don't know or hardly know does not put you on lower ground,you do!

If you go into situation where you think she has the upper hand your already physic'd out.

Why are you putting any emotional weight on a 1st,2nd or even 3d encounter,there's no need,your not attacted,your only getting to know them.

Start your dates off slowly and slowly get to know the women,before you attach any romantic emotion to her.

[Cat1864]

ive looked at a few of your other threads,most relate to how to get the attention or gain emotional higher ground as you put it.

the one thing that seems to be lacking is self confidence and lots of self esteem.

a women you dont know or hardly know does not put you on lower ground,you do!.

if you go into situation where you think she has the upper hand your already physic'd out.

why are you putting any emotional weight on a 1st,2nd or even 3d encounter,theres no need,your not attacted,your only getting to know them.

start your dates off slowly and slowly get to know the women,before you attach any romantic emotion to her.

I was just looking over his threads too and came to the same conclusions.

I am wondering if you are setting yourself up to fail because of self-esteem issues. You pick the female most likely to ignore you and then get surprised when she does. You ignore as being unworthy the ones who would probably have a great time with you and give you the attention you want.

What exactly do you want? Perhaps you should take a step back and think about the answer to that question.

Don't even think about winning exes back. They are exes for a reason.

[Homegirl 50]

I think women may pick up on your attitude towards them. If a woman sees you and thinks she may like you, would you pay attention to her or do you only have certain woman you want paying attention to you? If that is the case, how do you ever get to know a woman and allow her to get to know you?
If you are attracted to a woman, is it just physical? Have you ever just liked a woman because you think she is nice and you'd like to get to know her?

Emotional level has nothing to do with it. If you like someone you like them, it does not mean you are beneath them or they you.
Relax, get to know a woman get over this funky attitude equating attraction with emotional level. You can meet someone get to know them and then later find you are both attracted to each other, but the key is getting to know each other. Stop looking for a woman to just fall head over heels for you at first meeting.

I'm with Cat1864. What is it that you want from a women?

[Just_Another_Lemming]

How do become on the emotional higher or equal ground so that she wants me as much as I want her, without the persuit !!!.

(Same for getting back the attention / attraction of exes).

Pursue them? Sounds like you are chasing them. Exes are exes for a reason.

Stop acting so desperate when you are around them. No woman enjoys having a guy suffocate her with attention.

Listen to all these ladies who posted above me. (I agree with all of you but evidently I gots to spread the love).

[Oddboots]

If you pursue women just because they are attractive, it's about your ego not about them.

They know this. They won't ever want you.

[KBC]

In relationships it isn't a control issue,as I think you are expressing.

Who makes the 'move' and who play's coy? this is the game played in juvenile relationships(and yes,sometimes in seemingly adult ones also)the attraction has to be there for anything to happen, stop trying so hard to 'get that girl'.

If there is to be any chemistry it isn't going to be there because you WANT it to be,it has to flow from within(deep 60's and 70's stuff here:p ),You can make all the overtures you want,but if there is to be a connection(one that will last beyond the first night together),there has to be chemistry between the two of you.

Who doesn't like attractive people?(and WHO is to say WHO is attractive and who isn't, it's very subjective.)

[I wish]

There are too many similar threads, so all the common threads have been merged together.

Harshness warning

As the others have pointed out, the bottom line is that you lack confidence and self-esteem in yourself.

Before you blame girls or others for not accepting you, looking in the mirror first.

An attractive quality to have is confidence, but not cockiness. Some people mix up confidence with being jerky too. You can start with reading some self-help books: The Guide to Self-Help Books – Recommended Self-Help Books - Self-Help Book Reviews

When you look in the mirror and you feel happy with yourself, then you'll be in a better position to find happiness elsewhere.