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brittanymommy08 · Sep 24, 2009, 06:24 PM

\
Hey!
I have a question? How can someone say they love you
But gets mad when they can't get their way on everything?
Like access to your checking account.
Is that love or is that them using me?
Yeah, he has helped me but now he throws
Everything up in my face, I've done this for you
I'm confused?
He even complains about the hosptial I use.
And the doctors but I think they treat me well
And are doing what they can

Stringer · Sep 24, 2009, 07:07 PM

A relationship like this is usually doomed as he is a controlling personality, possibly narcissistic also.

You never said that you love him, do you? Or are you just in need and want a 'relationship'?

Stringer

brittanymommy08 · Sep 24, 2009, 07:17 PM

I do love him,
He gives me the feelings I haven't every had.
Or am I just to young to know what I want.

Stringer · Sep 24, 2009, 07:18 PM

May I ask your age?

brittanymommy08 · Sep 24, 2009, 07:23 PM

19,
I think I'm trying to get my family together.

Stringer · Sep 24, 2009, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by brittanymommy08

19,
I think i'm trying to get my family together.

I am sorry, I don't understand your comment.

Stringer · Sep 24, 2009, 07:28 PM

I am sorry, but it has been a very long day and I need some rest, so I have to leave now.

People come by when they have a chance, someone will stop by soon with additional responses to you question.

brittanymommy08 · Sep 24, 2009, 07:31 PM

I have two kids,
And I think I might be
Trying to keep my family together

spoilsport · Sep 24, 2009, 10:54 PM

hey there, its kind of tough to be in the situation you are in.. I don't know what situation your partner is in (jobless, bad job , low income, low selfesteem, insecurity) . But it might be time specific.. maybe it might get better with time , maybe not.

there is something called as tough love. Internet has some good tips and tricks on how to deal with controlling people
a little reading might help you.

search the internet for example:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2055813_identify-controlling-mate.html
wcr.sonoma.edu/v09n2/phythian.pdf
www.madisonmentalhealthcounselor.com/Identifying%20Controlling%20Partners%20-%20web.doc
http://ezinearticles.com/?Successfully-Dealing-With-Controlling,-Aggressive-and-Difficult-People-in-Your-Life&id=502204
http://ezinearticles.com/?Dealing-With-Controlling-People---2-Great-Tips-to-Deal-With-Controlling-People&id=2659540

hope this helps and hope your situation gets better with time
take care

spoilsport · Sep 24, 2009, 11:03 PM

Also, are you not well ? If so who is taking care of your kids and home? Is he doing too much than what he can take and lot of medical bills?
If so then it might be a reason why he is contolling - maybe to make things right and to ensure things stay right?

If so , it may also mean that he says I love you to make you trust him to have faith and follow him so he can take care of you..

Really need to study the situation to decide it.

There may be a lot more reasons and possibilities...

brittanymommy08 · Sep 25, 2009, 04:37 PM

I'm not sick, just pregnant.
And he doesn't pay my bills,
Today he got mad because I wouldn't
Give him my check. We have never put our money together, why start now?
I don't try to depend on anyone,
I'm trying to make it in a world that
Don't care who I am? I feel like he pushing me down as if I'm not good enough, there is an 11 year age difference. I feel like I have lost him we can't even talk without fighting anymore, and I'm about to have his child and he acts like he doesn't care I'm six weeks from giving birth and he hasn't mention anything about our son. He don't act like he cares about my daughter anymore. It's more like she in the way, he use to play with her. Now he yells me to get her when she trying to play with him like they use tooo, my little girl 10 months old and doesn't understand. I love this man, I do everything he ask but give him money when he has two jobs and makes way more than I do.
Should I leave or should I stay

He won't talk to me even when he comes home. He walks right by me. We haven't slept in the same bed in almost a month, I'm tired of acting like everything fine when it isn't

redhed35 · Sep 25, 2009, 04:48 PM

Hello.. I hope you are felling well.

That last two weeks have been very stressfull for you,this situation is now adding more stress...

Talk to him.

Listen to what he says,don't say anything... really listen...

Right now you need support,and you need physical help,you are having a difficult pregnancy.

These matters are serious,and won't go away over night.

All I'm really saying is,you both need to work together here,teamwork is called for...

Ask him to put your differences aside for the moment,and concentrate on getting your baby born healthy and strong.

brittanymommy08 · Sep 25, 2009, 04:53 PM

Thanks