[mona93]

My frieds tell me that I don't talk too much to others... well this didn't bother me much... but I meet a boy and he says that he can't be with me because I don't talk too much... and I told him that I have to accustom with him then I can be myself with him... but it seems it didn't work and he didn't give me a chance... I want to change to be more sociable... what should I do?. I always say to myself that I must have something in common with somebody to have a subject of discussion... but now I need more:D... so what would you do in my place?

[hellodee]

well I personally am a really outgoing person. But I would say you have to become comfortable with yourself to be able to be comfortable around others. And once your comfortable around others you won't be to shy to just be yourself around them. You won't be judged by talking to people. And just say what your thinking, like if your in class and are like what is this teacher even saying ? Don't sit there and think it to yourself say it to whoever is next to you, don't be scared to make jokes. And for topics to talk about its actually easier to just say random things then try to create the conversation because usually if its just random things being said it creates a conversation naturally. But by random don't randomly shout I like noodles. Oh look a bird ! But casual say ughh this class is so boring I can't wait to get home and watch blah blah blah and then the person will be like oh I love that show ! Or huh.. never seen it or whatever and it gives you the opportunity to say well you should really watch it its so good and then a conversation is started (: and just prove that guy wrong and he should come back if he really wants to.

[mona93]

Oh... well I'm not that shy around people... I even talk very much... but I'm shy with boys and very shy with boys I really like and I hate this because I never had a real boyfriend... and so people say I'm not sociable... and this is killing me... it happens that when I meet new people and I like a boy from that group I simply don't talk to no one because I think what he might think about what I'm saying... one day a boy that I like said something to me and it's really funny that I didn't understand him and I simply laugh with him... I feel like a fool... because recently he said that I'm not sociable [laughing]

[hellodee]

Ohh well then this is even better cause I'm good with boys (: if your not shy around people you shouldn't be around people you like cause its like the same kind of. But if a guy does that try to play if off cool and be like hahaha shut up I'm shyyyy ! In like a playfull voice. And try to just at least act like your fine being around them and fake it and don't worry about what they are going to say about you and things like that because in all honesty it makes you more likable. You can't like someone that doesn't talk to you because you don't get to know them you know ? So I would ac like your don't care what they think and soon you'll just end up doing it naturally.

[mom_of2]

I used to be the same way. I believe it was because I didn't have confidence in myself. I was always worried of what people thought of me. I just started to speak my mind (just as long it was nothing inappropriate) and I became the outgoing person I am today. Talking and speaking your mind is a way of seeing if you can connect with someone else and if you don't talk at all then how are people supposed to know if they can connect with you?Just be yourself because in the end you're going to have to be yourself anyway. So at least you'll know that if he doesn't like you now then he never will.

[mona93]

you're right... I just hate that I liked this guy and I promised to him that I will open myself to him in a few days... but he went to another city and maked up with his X... and I hate that I can't open myself immediately in 1 or 2 days... because I haved a rough childhood with boys... they were always teasing me that I'm ugly... and they were saing that because I was to good to them... recently I wanted to make me more confident and I begin to make up myself and die my hair stylish and things like that... to make me feel better... but I still don't feel nothing... I have a defect... and I want to have a cosmetic surgery... everyone says that's it's nothing... but because of those boys I'll never be confident

[mom_of2]

I was the same way. Where I'm from men like thick girls with a big butt and nice thighs but I was always skinny and throughout middle school I was always being mad fun of. I didn't have breasts or a butt like the other girls and I felt ugly and unwanted so I didn't try to look good because I thought it wouldn't help. Until one day a man confronted me about modeling for his cousin's designs. I asked why he wanted me and he said I had the perfect long legs, a nice shape and pretty long hair. Everybody has different taste so someone might think you're cute but the next person might not even look your way. In the end it doesn't matter just as long as you feel good about yourself. And those boys are just a few out of a billion so don't worry about it. You remind me of me 5 years ago. I know exactly how you feel and trust me plastic surgery has too many risks and it won't help. Now, I am 19 and I look great and feel great. I learned to love my slim figure and guess what- I finally got my butt and breasts :). I have guys drooling from their mouths now, even the ones who were making fun of me before. I don't care what anybody says about me because I know I'm beautiful and you should feel the same way. Say whatever's on your mind because if somebody else doesn't like it then just stick your middle finger up and tell them you don't care. Don't worry about not having a boyfriend or guys liking you because when you're looking for them they won't come. People like what they can't have. So if they can't have you, they'll want you even more. I really feel where you're coming from and I have gotten past it so I hope you can too. If you need anymore advice please feel free to e-mail me [email protected].

[mona93]

OK I will... tnx a lot for helping :)