[mr_X]

If the test came back positive what do I do? Is it right to break up her giving me an std without knowing she had it? Or do I just stay knowing that she has already infected me? And yes that would mean her past caught up with me

[smoothy]

If she had an STD, most cases she should have known it. Some people can carry Herpes with no symptoms...

I'd consider an active STD as a deal breaker. Just my personal thought on the topic.

[redhed35]

if the test came back positive what do i do? is it right to break up her giving me an std without knowing she had it? or do i just stay knowing that she has already infected me? and yes that would mean her past caught up with me

You deal with that problem when you have the result..

Your borrowing trouble.



But its not just the possible STD that is bothering you,it's the fact she had a past,we all do of some discription,and you can't deal with it.

You would be lucky if she did not give you your marching orders,and find a man who will accept what past is past.

[mr_X]

Redhead35 I don't think you understand its not a possible std. The test came in positive. I got tested before we got together and was clean. She went to her annual pap and when she got the results from the blood work it came back positive for herpes she had giving me it without her knowing she had it. I know everyone has a past but come on!

[redhed35]

I read the posts,I must have missed it..
I'm not sure how it works,but can herpes lie dormant?

Really at the end of the day its up to you.

We can only read and go on what you write,only you know the woman you are with,if you love her or not..

If you want the relationship to work,you can move on from this,if its causing you sleepless night and too much hassel,end it. Walk away.

[ohsohappy]

Everyone makes bad choices in their lives. She told you, and apparently is not please by the behavior. Let it go, it can't be helped, and it was before you. I'm sure she's disgusted with erhself, wheterhsheh openly shows it or not. Don't make her feel worse about it by holding it against her. You weren't in the picture. She needs your support in this, do this by letting it go. It will be much healthier for your relationship.

[Cat1864]

redhead35 i don't think you understand its not a possible std. The test came in positive. i got tested before we got together and was clean. she went to her annual pap and when she got the results from the blood work it came back positive for herpes she had givin me it without her knowing she had it. I know everyone has a past but come on!!

I take it this is a new development?

When were you tested? When did you get the results from your test? What type of herpes was she diagnosed with?

Before when you mentioned 31 encounters I wondered if you were trying to get us to condemn her for what she has done in the past. It almost seems like you are adding "details" to make your "side" of the story more empathetic.

[ohsohappy]

Well crap, I didn't read about the STD.
She should have at least been tested after her "encounter" before she became active with you. But dang, she had no idea. I'm sure she never wanted you to get an STD. If she had known, I think she would have told you that too.

[Synnen]

NOT getting tested for an STD after every partner could be giving a death sentence to your NEXT partner.

The fact that either she wasn't tested, or wasn't positive about the testing would be a deal breaker for me. It's one thing to keep your details to yourself. It's another thing entirely to KNOWINGLY not be as safe as you can be with your current partner.

[Gemini54]

I take it this is a new development?

When were you tested? When did you get the results from your test? What type of herpes was she diagnosed with?

Before when you mentioned 31 encounters I wondered if you were trying to get us to condemn her for what she has done in the past. It almost seems like you are adding "details" to make your "side" of the story more empathetic.

Cat, I agree. First it was the 4-some, then it was 31 partners, now it's an STD - herpes. Um, Mr X, what's going on?

Have there been any symptoms of herpes, such as blisters - either on the mouth or the genitals? There are 2 types of herpes and one typically affects the lips and mouth and the other the genitals. (although they can infect each other) A blood test will bring up both, so you will need to clarify which it is.

See this extract from the internet:

The herpes blood test looks for antibodies to the virus that your immune system would have made when you were infected. The second type of herpes simplex virus, HSV-2, almost always infects the genitals, so if antibodies to HSV-2 are detected in your blood, you probably have genital herpes. A blood test that shows antibodies to the other type of herpes virus, HSV-1, means you could have genital or oral herpes. That's because oral herpes, typically caused by HSV-1, can be spread to the genitals during oral sex.

To confuse things even further, some people carry the antibody but never get the actual symptoms...

So, I'm not actually sure what's going on with you Mr X, but if your story is true, I'd be clarifying a few things before I started throwing stones or hissy fits.

[britEl]

It was her responsibility to get tested after every partner and she shirked that responsibility, if someone did it to me, it would be a definite deal breaker.

[mr_X]

Thank you everyone for your advice. It has really helped a great deal. As far as making the story up that is ridiculous seeing that I've been a member of askmehelp desk since 2005