[chuff]

thank you chuff!

i just got an email from her...ill post it in a sec...

I don't even know what it says, yet but I can tell you the relationship has turned. It used to be you going after her. Now look at this. You showed up with a pair, stood her down, she cried, you ignored her temper tantrum, you left and look at this... she's coming to you. Crazy I have to say, nice job.

[crazyoverher]

Thanks chuff but the letter she wrote makes it look like she is the one in control... here it is...

[crazyoverher]

I don't know what to say. I have been thinking all night... crying a lot... I am at a loss about all of this. Love isn't enough. And the fact that you think that I am being unreasonable upsets me more. Because if you truly loved me like you say, you would not drag me through this. I would NEVER do this to you. I would (and have) done everything possible to be with you... and I'm sure in your mind you are reading this and saying to yourself "thats what I'm doing"... All you do is tell me to be patient and to wait... and wait... You have had me waiting here for you for 4 years... yet your comment to that is "don't bring up the past". Right.

I love you and miss you so much it hurts. But I can't do this to myself anymore. Its not fair. I feel like I have put my life on hold for you... living my life by YOUR timeline. A timeline that is the slowest damn timeline that I have ever known. How can you ask me to keep waiting?

I'm not writing this to argue anymore. I just think that yesterday, you were laughing at the things I was saying as if I was asking for unreasonable things. I'm not. I don't want you to write back and recap your timeline. I heard it loud and clear yesterday... and I don't consider the fact that you can have "sleepovers" to be "with me". You don't live with me... you come to sleep over and then leave... you don't have anything in my apt... you won't even eat dinner with me... I am, and always have been, on the outside. I deserve more. I want more.

You need to focus on doing what you need to do for your situation. I am moving on and forward with my life... I am not going to look for anyone, but I don't want to be with you like this either. If and when you are finally free.. TRULY free... we'll see where I am at... That's all I can offer back right now with the deal that you have brought to the table.

[chuff]

I seriously got 3 sentences into this garbage and I knew it must be Chuffed.

To answer the previous post, you are wrong. She sent this to you. I don't care the content, I don't care what she says, you are in control. For once, do not blow this. You are going to her, she is coming to you. Now to this...

I don't know what to say.

Then why write this email.

I have been thinking all night...crying a lot...

Ah, look at that. She's crying and you aren't. You are in control. Assuming she's telling the truth, and let's be honest, that's a big assumpation. She might just be saying this looking for sympathy, thinking that you'll come running to a crying woman.

I am at a loss about all of this.

Translated to mean, "You used to follow me like a puppy, now you actually stick up for yourself, and I'm not sure what to do anymore."

Love isn't enough.

?? When did she every love you? Is this the same woman you've been on this site about since February? Playing the love card? Please.

And the fact that you think that I am being unreasonable upsets me more.

Translated to "So let my try guilt to see if you start doing what I want."

Because if you truly loved me like you say, you would not drag me through this.

More guilt, also you notice after all this, you stand up for yourself one time... ONE TIME and she says you are dragging her through all this. What a piece of work.

I would NEVER do this to you.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Stop it, I'm a rolling. That's great. Good stuff there.

I would (and have) done everything possible to be with you...and I'm sure in your mind you are reading this and saying to yourself "thats what I'm doing"....

Attempted reverse psyhology... and she failed at it.

All you do is tell me to be patient and to wait.....and wait.... You have had me waiting here for you for 4 years....yet your comment to that is "don't bring up the past". right.

I have no idea what she's talking about so I can't really comment.

I love you and miss you so much it hurts.

Is this the same line she's used in the 40 other previous break ups?

But I can't do this to myself anymore.

Ok, then why write this email. You left and she came to you. You aren't doing anything to her, so why write this claiming you are. Guilt trip anyone?

Its not fair. I feel like I have put my life on hold for you...living my life by YOUR timeline.

I feel like you have been doing the exact opposite.

A timeline that is the slowest damn timeline that I have ever known. How can you ask me to keep waiting?

For the love of all things holy. You told you wouldn't move into her apt. until December. That is 3 and half months. If after 4 years she can't wait 3 months until your lease runs up or whatever is holding you what is the point. Which we all wanted to know before this came up anyway.

I'm not writing this to argue anymore.

No she's writing it to make you feel guilty. Also, weren't you the one who avoided the argument by leaving... so there was no argument so she's just making stuff up.

I just think that yesterday, you were laughing at the things I was saying as if I was asking for unreasonable things. I'm not.

She is.

Also, nice job laughing at her. When they start huffing and puffing, don't fall for there trap but just laugh it off. There problems are not your problems. You are really coming around.

I don't want you to write back and recap your timeline.

This is some of the best comedy I've ever seen. This is fantastic. Let's recap. She dumps you for the 64th time, she cries and whines, you leave and then DO NOT contact her. So she sends this guilt trip email and has the line "I don't want you to write back"
As though she has any say. This is truly the only control she has left. She is literally saying, "Even though you are not contacting me, I don't want you to contact me." Wow.

I heard it loud and clear yesterday....and I don't consider the fact that you can have "sleepovers" to be "with me". You don't live with me...you come to sleep over and then leave....you don't have anything in my apt...you won't even eat dinner with me.... I am, and always have been, on the outside. I deserve more. I want more.

And you offered to move in December, so she can shut the F up.

You need to focus on doing what you need to do for your situation. I am moving on and forward with my life.... I am not going to look for anyone, but I don't want to be with you like this either. If and when you are finally free..TRULY free...we'll see where I am at... Thats all I can offer back right now with the deal that you have brought to the table.

Wow. More blame you, but it's really all about her.

I've said this for months, but how can this woman or any other woman for that matter be worth this. HOW?

[talaniman]

Either you're a glutton for BS, or you really need to end the BS your in.

Delete her emails, and ignore her, at all costs. Please, as this thread is going in so many circles, you have to be dizzy by now.

[crazyoverher]

Yeah, I'm a glutton for bs.

Here's the latest...

She wrote me another email... saying that she just wants... well hell here it is... : oops I deleted it! Sorry guys.

Anyway, the bottom line was that she wanted to see me.

So, I went over to see her with the intention of ending it. Well she ended it...

After it was clear that she was just being abusive to me.. shouting at me... cussing etc... I said that I was there to have a positive constructive talk with her...

People you know what she told me?

She said she FU## her old boyfriend 3 months ago BEFORE we got back together. I can't believe she told me that. Whether that was true or not... I was so hurt that I didn't say a word.

I just left.

And thus, while she hurt me by saying all that to me... now that she did, she KNOWS that I will never go back to her again.

It is over.

Now, tomorrow is another day and this woman is crazy... so who knows what she will do now... I will keep you posted.

Is there a pretty considerate woman out there in the world? Please let me know people... because right now, I just don't know if anyone is honest anymore. Not to have self pity... its a good thing what happened tonight... it just really sux that she did that. Very uncool.

Oh well, life goes on... but you know what guys? I left and all but surpisingly, I thought I was going to cry or something... but I didn't! I just was hurt that she told me that but that was all.

[crazyoverher]

Oh... one other thing...

I wanted her to have the "upper hand" in the breakup... because now, she can't seek "revenge" or anything like that to me... u know... because if I broke up with her... then she would have gone freaking "fatal attraction" on me...

[chuff]

Wow, so you mean to tell me in this latest turn of events that she's not only controlling... which I believe has been covered and not only has deep emotional problems... which I believe has been covered but she's a whore and apparently to stupid to realize by telling you that, that she actually admits to it. Not that everybody didn't figure this out already.

Why should you cry? I understand there were feelings but losing her is actually gaining part of you. Furthermore, you can't bring yourself to tears because you had to know this would be the outcome. The pattern was the same as it always was. Nothing's ever changed.

I hope you got your stuff back and get away from this person. Your life is to short to have people like her in it.

[crazyoverher]

Hi chuff...

Thanks for your comments...

Well the update is that I got 21 texts from her last night and 2 emails... I turned off my phone and so far today, haven't read them... ill do it tomorrow. As far as today goes, I'm going swimming! :)

[crazyoverher]

Thanks man!

I feel great. I wrote her an email that ill send her tomorrow... it basically says... that I ALONE will decide what I am going to do... and No one not even her, is going to tell me what to do!

While I feel great about all this, I can't help but feel that it's a shame that I had to even say that to her... u know?

But regardless... im doing it. I'm going to make her sweat today... if she even cares... and like I said, tomorrow shoot her that email...

Ill keep you posted!

[chuff]

Thanks man!

i feel great. i wrote her an email that ill send her tomorrow....it basically says...that I ALONE will decide what i am going to do...and NOONE not even her, is going to tell me what to do!

while i feel great about all this, i can't help but feel that its a shame that i had to even say that to her...u know?

but regardless...im doing it. im gonna make her sweat today...if she even cares....and like i said, tomorrow shoot her that email.....

ill keep u posted!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

She has texted you so many times that you have had to turn off your phone, she is now emailing you non stop, she is begging you for attention of any kind. DO NOT send her an email. It will only verify that you are still thinking about her which is what she wants. No matter the message of the email, the communication plays into her control. You are acting completely different then you used to and FINALLY you have got a response out of her. Do not revert back to the old way. Keep your control, keep your power and do not respond.

[crazyoverher]

Oh really? I didn't think I was giving up control if I did send her an email...

Well... ok... because I went to look at my email and you know how it shows the first parts of the message in outlook:... when I saw one of her emails... she only emailed me twice...

The first part of her message said: FU&& YOU!

I didn't expect that... I didn't open it yet... and she also sent me a picture too... I haven't opened it but I will tomorrow.

Anyhoo, based upon what she told me... the email I was going to send to her... I think that its best that maybe I don't... because if she's so rude to say that to me... then she doesn't deserve me emailing her.

She also left some voice mails... ill listen to them tomorrow too. I'm just not up for dealing with her bs.

Anyway, you think that I should just fade away then?

[chuff]

oh really? i didnt think i was giving up control if i did send her an email....

You are. Because she's telling you that she sleeps around with other guys, calling you names, sending you emails, texts and the works. You are doing nothing. Literally nothing and she's putting all this energy into you. Maybe it's not good energy but energy none the less. She needs a reaction from you to feed off.

Forget the messages, she is the one coming to you. She's coming to you with hate but that's because she wants a reaction. I had an ex that used to flip her lid a lot and eventually I just started laughing at her. That's kind of what you are doing. You are saying "this doesn't bother me" by not responding. The opposite of love is not hate, but indiffernce. You are being indifferent to her and it's driving her nuts. Even more so the before.

well...ok....cuz i went to look at my email and u know how it shows the first parts of the message in outlook:.....when i saw one of her emails....she only emailed me twice....

Twice more then you emailed her.

the first part of her message said: FU&& YOU!

Part of me wants to tell you to email her back and just write, "You are so sexy when your mad."

Don't do that though.

i didnt expect that...i didnt open it yet....and she also sent me a picture too....i havent opened it but i will tomorrow.

Why? Just let her hate belong to her. This isn't your problem anymore.

anyhoo, based upon what she told me....the email i was going to send to her...i think that its best that maybe i dont...cuz if shes soo rude to say that to me...then she doesnt deserve me emailing her.

she also left some voice mails....ill listen to them tomorrow too. im just not up for dealing with her bs.

You've dealt with time and again. Now is your time, not hers.

anyway, you think that i should just fade away then?

Absolutely.

[crazyoverher]

Well that's sound advice chuff.

I do want to stay in control... all today she has not done anything. She hasn't emailed me or texted or called... maybe she's waiting for me to respond... what do you think? Or maybe she thinks that because SHE got the LAST word in... that SHE"S in control?

Also, I don't know what she said to me but ill be interested and make sure I let you know...

[crazyoverher]

chuff... I do have a confession...

I have been thinking all day today what she told me last night:

"i was over at my old boyfriends house when we were sepearated becuase i was FU%%%g him!"

Any advice people on how I deal with that pyshological blow?

[chuff]

well thats sound advice chuff.

i do want to stay in control....all today she has not done anything. she hasnt emailed me or texted or called....maybe shes waiting for me to respond....what do you think? or maybe she thinks that because SHE got the LAST word in....that SHE"S in control?!

But how can she be in control? She's flipping her lid, completely off balance and you are not responding to anything.

Haven't you ever had someone just lose it on you and all you can think is, "What is wrong with this person?" Because what they are upset has nothing to do with you.

Well, that person is her. She's upset and the cause is her. She's an angry person and she get's more angry because you are indifferent to her. You aren't doing one thing to her, calling her one name or belittling her. She can't stand it because she's so used to people either arguing with her or rolling over for her like you used to do. Now you are doing neither, you are treating her like someone that lives on an island somewhere in the ocean. You aren't paying attention to her as though you don't even know she's alive.

[crazyoverher]

Thanks chuff but how do I deal with what she told me:?

chuff... I do have a confession...

I have been thinking all day today what she told me last night:

"i was over at my old boyfriends house when we were sepearated becuase i was FU%%%g him!"

Any advice people on how I deal with that pyshological blow?

[chuff]

chuff.....i do have a confession...

i have been thinking all day today what she told me last night:

"i was over at my old boyfriends house when we were sepearated becuase i was FU%%%g him!"

any advice people on how i deal with that pyshological blow?

But it was designed to be a pyshological blow. She's grasping at straws because of your indifference. Everything she says is designed to keep you down or hurt you. This was that.

What's ironic is, it makes her look worse and she's to stupid to see it. What she's really saying is, her crotch is open to an ex boyfriend at a moments notice and not worth anything. Down in Florida we call girls like that whores. She admits to being one, that makes her look ridicules.

Furthermore, if it's true is this the kind of girl you want to be with? I mean, I don't expect virgins but if you are so cheap to just give it up to rotating boyfriends then what real value is there with this woman.

Beyond all that, you should read this entire thread again. This shows here, in your own words that she in manipulative and controlling and this was just another example of really how cruel she really is.

I remember my ex had left me for another guy and then left him for another guy and then when she got dumped she was trying to get back with me. Long story short I was not interested and she was telling me about how this was all a big misunderstanding, blah blah blah. Finally I just interupted her and said, "it's not my fault you choose to be a whore." That's exactly how I see your situation. She choosing to be the town slut is not your problem. You deal with real women, the bottome feeders can have the town slut.

[crazyoverher]

Thanks for that man... it helps me.

Yeah, it was very cruel. I'll try to keep my head up! :)

[chuff]

thanks for that man....it helps me.

yeah, it was very cruel. i'll try to keep my head up! :)

You are winning. You have nothing to be down about. You've finally seen her for what she is, you are beating her game to the point she admits to being a whore and not leaving you alone. You're the man now, hold that head up and be proud that in the end, try as she might, she just couldn't beat you in the end.