[artlady]

I think we should all say a prayer for this mess of a situation. I have TWICE and will again. They can't even drive to the doctor by themselves. How can two children raise a newborn? All I can say is: Lord please help everyone involved. Especially the father with anger issues.

I always do! Good that you do also.Its got to count somewhere.

[artlady]

Here is a link I want you to look at sweetheart.I think you need to understand some very important things.
I want the best for you ,really.we all do.
The real cost of raising a baby | BabyCenter

[shannonbug]

And no you can not just go live with the boys family and if they have any good parenting skills they would never allow it anyway.

And social services ( child protection agency) gets involved if they would throw you out, since they can't legally do that.

They would through me out you mean on the streets?

[shannonbug]

before i side with artlady, did his parents actually tell you themselves that they would help? and to what extent? because when we were planning to move my bf went on and on about how his dad would help us. then later when he actually told his dad, he threatened to cut him off if he moved across the state with me. (we still moved, but we couldn't afford a place together so i'm renting my own room while he lives with his older brother. i make way more than 8 an hour and trust me, there's no way i'd be able to support a baby right now. unless i moved into my car and stopped eating. then, maybe, i might be able to support a baby...) i know some people are able to have a baby at 15 and make everything work but its hard.
let's just say that his parents do help. who is going to watch this baby while everyone is working? how are you going to finish school? who will watch the baby while you are at school? you're only 15, so my guess is you (or your bf) can't drive yet. how will you get to the hospital if his parents aren't around and you or the baby needs to go to the dr's asap. and how are you going to afford a dr's visit even? do you have health insurance of your own? i would imagine you're currently on your parents but if they kick you out i don't see why they would keep supporting you any other way. can you get health insurance for your baby? there's just a few things to consider. i could go on. i'm sure other people have other things you have to consider too.

They are going to help us all the way and his sister lives literally right nest door and when she's at work her husband is home when he is at work she's home they both have 2 separate cars. And I am homescholed I could still keep up my boyfriend he is staying in school no matter what he is 16 in 3 months. His parents are going to get helath insuraqnce for him/her me well make it work

[J_9]

Hun, do you realize the physical dangers of being pregnant at your age?

There are real health hazards to both you and the baby.

What if something goes wrong and you HAVE to deliver early? Who is going to pay the millions of dollars for the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) if the baby has to stay in there weeks or months?

I deliver babies for a living, I have delivered babies to 15 year olds. I am speaking from experience.

[J_9]

his parents are going to get helath insuraqnce for him/her me well make it work

If you are in the United States, his parents can't get insurance for the baby as they are not the biological parents nor are they the guardians.

[justcurious55]

OK, let's just say that his family is going to pay for everything. They pay for all of the health care for you and the baby (that you'll still have to be responsible for getting even if they give you the money), they pay for food, diapers, clothes, furniture, toys, and everything else. How long is that for? Do you get this wonderful free ride forever? Is it until you finish school? Until the baby's first birthday? What if you and your boyfriend break up? And don't you dare say it can't happen. It happens all the time. Would his family support you and your baby if you weren't dating their son anymore?
And has his sister and husband really volunteered to play taxi for you? What about when you realize you're out of diapers in the middle of the night? Or if the baby gets sick and you need baby tylenol at 3 am? You said all of these people work. How many times do you think they are going to want to get up to drive you around. And 16 doesn't come with an instant driver's license. You have to take the test first. Your boyfriend being 16 in 3 months means nothing until he gets his license. And even then, there's more costs for you guys. He'll need to have car insurance. He'll need his own car for getting you and the baby around when the rest of his family isn't there. The baby will need car seats. And that's not a one time deal. You have to get different car seats as they get older. Then of course the car will need gas. Do his parents ever expect any of this stuff paid back? The site artlady gave you estimated $10,000 just in your baby's first year. Are they really willing to just give it all away?
You have to really think about these things. If they really are going to help you out and give you a free ride, great. You don't have to worry about money. You still have the health concerns J_9 mentioned. You're still going to have to care for the baby. And who home schools you now? When I hear homeschool I always think of the parents teaching because that's what I've always seen. You said your parents would kick you out. So who will home school you then? That might even be harder than regular school with a baby. Do you really think you will have the time and energy to do it on your own with a baby? It sounds easy now. But its not.

[tryintolive69]

shannonbug,your name suggest that you are young,and if you are pregnant,telling your parents is good. You can stay with his parents only if you are not a minor,if you are a minor you have to stay at home,because your parents will get in trouble if they kick you out. And whatever you do don't run away,the world is a dangerous place.

[justcurious55]

Tryintolive, she says in one of her posts in this very thread that she is 15. So it would be especially dangerous for her to run away. Glad you mentioned that, it never even crossed my mind.

[Justwantfair]

I haven't read all of the comments, as I am sure everyone is trying to talk sense into you.

I was a teenage mother. I was 17 and let me tell you that is a world older then you even are. You have to be in school FT, you may not graduate, you probably won't graduate on time.

Motherhood is something special, exhausting, depressing and draining on you physically, emotionally and definitely financially. You will not be with your boyfriend long enough to see your child become an adult together. I guarantee it, in fact, you will probably not even see the end of the pregnancy still together as a couple.

This is a choice that you can not undo, once you commit to having a child at the age of 15. It will change your life forever and it will not be a change for the better. Any childhood dreams that you had for yourself are now out the window.

You have no idea what you are in for and you will probably not listen to one lick of advice that you are given here. I do want for you to remember this time because when you are 30, you will look back and know exactly what a fool you were in this very moment. You will regret this decision for yourself and your child, who had to suffer right along with you, because you were too ignorant to know how foolish you were.

You can change this choice now, but you won't have another opportunity.
You will regret a choice to be a teenage mother and you will feel ashamed for regretting a gift of a child.

[YoungHyperLink]

There are many, many couples that have been on the adoption waiting list for a long time.

I've seen the horrifying results of girls going against their nature and their heart with the other "option" of abortion. It is heartbreaking.

[Alty]

There are many, many couples that have been on the adoption waiting list for a long time.

I've seen the horrifying results of girls going against their nature and their heart with the other "option" of abortion. It is heartbreaking.

Did I miss something?

No where did I read that she's thinking of adoption or abortion.

[YoungHyperLink]

Redhed, Artlady: I apologise if I used this as a chat forum disregarding the reputation system.
However, suggesting that the girl take counseling with Planned Parenthood seems to me to at least imply abortion. No way they are going to tell her to keep it, and they aren't great at promoting adoption, either. Check their main page.

[justcurious55]

As j_9 stated, delivering the baby at her age may be more dangerous than abortion. It's always possible for medical procedures to go wrong but if she went to an experienced doctor an abortion might be the safer option. I'm not saying that she should have an abortion or put the baby up for an adoption. What she decides to do is entirely up to her. But I do believe that she should be well informed about all of her options. Whether she decides to keep it, have the baby adopted, or go for an abortion she should be well informed. Whatever she decides to do, its going to be a life altering choice and she needs all the information she can get to make her choice.

[jenniepepsi]

Younghyperlink, planned parrenthood doesn't ONLY offer abortion. I agree, that they do actively advocate it, but its not the only thing they offer.
They offer adoption information, and once the baby is born she can get on birthcontroll with them and take classes to help her learn more about safe sex.

[Holly23]

Wow,what a pickle.
I don't think she's considered abortion or adoption..
And just to make this clear Im not going against expert advice(J_9) but Im sure there has also been many successful deliveres at her age?I know were all just trying to talk sense into her but I think were scaring the living day lights out of her.A bit of scared is good but she's already worried sick about her parents.
What do you want to do shannon?
Are you sure you can handle this?Without your parents?No financial help?Your boyfriends 15.. Hes not going to around forever.Im not saying you shouldn't keep your baby,Im saying you should think of the welfare of your baby,because at 15 with a baby and no parents,I can't see it being all OK as your ill infomed boyfriend may think.

[YoungHyperLink]

It's a matter of emphasis and promotion.

[jmjoseph]

The bottom line is that the damage is done. There is no easy way out, or "right" answer at this point. Regardless of what they decide , it's going to impact this young girl for the rest of her life. GOD bless this situation.

[justcurious55]

Holly, yes, I agree there probably have been plenty of successful births to 15 year olds. But that doesn't change the medical fact that there can be increased risks for her at her age.
And youhyperlink, that's fine that you're against planned parenthood but this isn't the place for a debate over it. I've seen plenty of church groups emphasize and promote NOT having abortions. It only seems right that there's going to be another side promoting them.

[YoungHyperLink]

Nm