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talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 08:55 AM

Poor thing, all those feelings, and you just don't know what to do with them. We here are only trying to protect you from some serious hurt that's all. We all know your feelings are so intense that they are hard to control, but your letting them lead you downs some very dangerous paths.

Don't you have any big sisters to talk to or some friends your close to??

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 08:55 AM

Do yourself and me a favor,find out this girls number (that he cheated on you with,or you suspect he did) and call her.

You can't trust your ex,so get the information from her.Ask her if it was true and it really did happen.If she's nice enough to you and interested in what you have to say.Do a three way call with him on the other line just them talking with you quiet

And see what he says to her.

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 08:57 AM

You have to be certain though to not act hostile or mad at the girl (even if she knew he was your boyfriend... she was not committed to you) When you call her (if you do) act polite.

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 08:58 AM

^ the calling way was how I confirmed my ex cheating on me.And how I finally moved on.

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 08:59 AM

I'm an only child and I don't talk to my friends beuase I lost them because I never bovered with them when I met my boyfriend stupid I know. Everyone thinks I'm perthetic but I feel so bad for him and I just can't control how much I need and love him

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:02 AM

She's confirmed it to me anyway she told me again after I said its not my boyfriend your talking to its me bla bla.. and she said she sorry but it happened.. I controlled my anger only because I couldn't feel angry I was distraught and hurt... I kept the conversation we had for him threw Facebook and he said she's lying I didn't kiss her! he dusnt tx her all the tym he txed her after a night out saying come and meet me bla bla.. they didn't meet though she said

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 09:05 AM

Ok that's great,the girls willing to talk to you.
Next step (like I said) ask her for her number.
Once you guys call each other have her call him with you on the other-line (three way call)
And have her flirt with him or ask him how the kiss was or something.

Wait for him to take the bait

And then,how can he say he didn't do anything,when you physically heard it?

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:07 AM

I asked for her number and she said look I don't wna get involved we kissed we were drunk that's it he txed me end of if you wna know anything ask him its not my problem!. but he said to me if ever I hack into his Facebook again its over and he keeps making me feel bad so I apoligise to him saying I'm sorry I love you its my fault.. when I just wna say I hate you so much for hurting me but I love you so bad its just hard and so so so stupid!!

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 09:12 AM

Oh so he's pulling the 'you hacked into my facebook' thing.

Personally that's another thing.

I wouldn't care if my ex hacked,anything of mine,because I have nothing to hide.I don't understand the extreme parinoia some people have over that,especially when the suspicions are proven.

How does he act towards you on a normal day?

(how many times a day does he call)
(does he tell you he loves you)
(how many times a week do you fight)

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:20 AM

OK he calls me on every break at work , he texts me before he goes to work , txs me along cute message before he goes to bed , rings me like near enuff every hour and a half on the days I don't c him... he tells me he loves me all the time , on every tx every fone call , every time I'm with him... we only argue over my paranior and how I say how could you cheat on me and did you do it that just causes an argument... but I c him every day without fail ( only at the moment I can't because my car is playing up )!. but I get lifts to c him...

57373 · Jun 30, 2009, 09:25 AM

Ok his behavior is suspicious,it's just as bad as if he wasn't calling at all.

I'm sorry but there's no need to call someone,EVERY HOUR. Even if you are long distance.I would say maybe two calls a day is normal,more then that is obessesive. He is over-compensating,probably so you 'shut up' and don't suspect him of cheating.The illusion of the perfect boyfriend.

But do you think it could possibly be because the girl he cheated on you with rejected him?

So in a sense he's 'stuck' with you,and acting as if the cheating never happened?

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:29 AM

No because the girl actually wanted a relationship with him when I was on the Facebook she put why don't u ever meet me you kissed me 1nce when we were in the club and I only heard from you last nyt after when you got home drunk , u never want to meet me and I actually wna be wif u!. so she said it... he could of gone off with her but he never... we've both bin very ringing all the time since we 1st got together enyway so that isn't strange to us in our relationship... he dus think I'm posseive and I never let him go out.. hense that because I'm afraid of what he's doing??

ZoeMarie · Jun 30, 2009, 09:31 AM

Kelly, you've established with this girl that your boyfriend did in fact kiss her. Whether they had been drinking doesn't change the facts. Now he's lying about it. Is that something that you want to put up with? What's to say he won't do this again? I wouldn't "shut up" but talk to him. Tell him that you know he's lied to you and there's no use lying anymore. See how he reacts to that. If he gets defensive like it still didn't happen I would get rid of this guy. If he finally admits it and apologizes, says it won't happen again, then you guys can work on your relationship. I personally, would have trust issues with him.

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:33 AM

He gets defensive saying look I didn't kiss her god just believe me. I don't know what I can do to make him admit it , don't know why he can't when he knows that she has told me?

ZoeMarie · Jun 30, 2009, 09:34 AM

I would show him the door. What motive does this girl have to lie about it?

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:36 AM

Yep exactly , yousee I know its true but I still can't leave him because he does make me happy and id o love him

jolienoire · Jun 30, 2009, 09:39 AM

OMG, this thread is now about 7 pages of the same thing.

Either you leave or you stay, only you can figure out why you want to be with a cheater. I think you should love yourself more than you love him, and then you will see that you don't need him until then. This vicious circle will continue.

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:43 AM

I'm sorry I'm wasteing everyone's time but I just wish someone would understand the situation I'm in and that I love I'm too much I can't leave!! I'm scared of being on my own I guess but I don't wna not have him, sometimes I guess I think if I stay with him at least I've got him which is better then nt having him at all

ZoeMarie · Jun 30, 2009, 09:44 AM

You can leave. Don't stay with anyone just because you're afraid to be alone. How will you meet the one you're meant to be with if you waste anymore time with this jerk?

kelly10jonson · Jun 30, 2009, 09:48 AM

Yeah I understand what your saying.. he just rang me and was like I miss u.. it just suks me in all over again... were going abroad soon as well