Really in Need

virginguy · Jun 20, 2009, 11:40 AM

Hi Everyone!

I am 29 years old, what I think is the person is the best judge to himself/herself. So, I can say that I am really a nice hearted person, caring,who can really love a girl from the bottom of the heart & can provide every happiness what so ever is in my hand.. and that really true.
So, the problem with me is that I am a FAT Gay:( , I reduced a lot but after my break up I again gained the weight. And now I can't help it out, but still I am not that bad looking... I am really good but just FAT.
And at this stage I am still bloody Virgin:mad:, that is really making me aaaahhhh can't even explain it.
I really want to have a nice girl in my life... and that to for a life long relationship... really.
And yes with my suggestion lot of my friends had impressed their girl friends... & I can help myself.

I don't have any problem... I have money, a nice heart, good feeling to share, Full time to give... but I am FAAAT.

What should I do? Its really making me depressed.

Thanks in Advance for your Help.

Vicky

jenniepepsi · Jun 20, 2009, 11:54 AM

I assume you meant fat GUY, not GAY. That makes a huge difference.

Your email will be removed just to let you know. This isn't a dating service.

I personally can tell you that most of my boyfriends were overweight. My now current husband is overweight. It makes no diffrence to me.

If you find the right girl, she will not care at all what you LOOK like, she will care about what is on the inside.

I would suggest you get some counsilling. This seems to really effect you in a negative way and its not good for you.

virginguy · Jun 20, 2009, 12:02 PM

Yeah Jenniepepsi...

Sorry for the wrong Word Used... I am FAT Guy... its not GAY..

Can you please suggest me how can I get that nice GIRL

Thanks for your reply

jenniepepsi · Jun 20, 2009, 12:07 PM

Go to clubs. Join message boards. (clean ones, or you will not get the right girl) get out into the world and just LIVE. She will find you when you are least expecting it. Something I have noticed is love almost NEVER finds the ones who are desperately searching for it. It almost always comes to those who aren't even looking.

Catsmine · Jun 20, 2009, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by virginguy

Yeah Jenniepepsi.....

Sorry for the wrong Word Used...I am FAT Guy....its not GAY..

Can you please suggest me how can i get that nice GIRL

Thanks for your reply

Stop trying to "GET A GIRL," try making friends. As friendships grow, relationships develop. As relationships develop, love blooms. As love blooms, partnerships happen.

Catsmine · Jun 20, 2009, 12:12 PM

By the way, I'm built like a Sumo wrestler, and I've never had a problem finding love.

virginguy · Jun 20, 2009, 12:12 PM

Dear, the words written by you are really great... and I mean that... thats true. But how should I don't expect it... as I am really in need of that only.
The main concern for me is how should I approach a girl, when I am afraid of "NO".

jenniepepsi · Jun 20, 2009, 12:16 PM

You don't NEED a woman to make your life complete hon.

As I said before, you really should see a counselor. You really seem to have a REALLY BAD issue with this and it really isn't healthy

virginguy · Jun 20, 2009, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Catsmine

Stop trying to "GET A GIRL," try making friends. As friendships grow, relationships develop. As relationships develop, love blooms. As love blooms, partnerships happen.

Actually I am not in touch with any girl. I am working in a software company... having very less girls... that to married. :(

I am from india... may be or it is different over here... the girls point of view regarding the guys.

Catsmine · Jun 20, 2009, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by virginguy

Actually i am not in touch with any girl. i am working in a software company...having very less girls...that to married. :(

I am from india...may be or it is different over here...the girls point of view regarding the guys.

I'm not sure how the culture in India views relationships. Would any of your married friends introduce you to a single girl? Is that frowned upon?

I have heard that marriage brokers still practice in that part of the world, is that true and can you avail yourself of them?

For the "Westernized" girls, learn to dance and go to the disco.

bronzebabe · Jun 20, 2009, 04:29 PM

Being a virgin is not the Worst thing you could be. You need to concentrate on healing your mind, body and spirit. Then, you will find what you are looking for.
Don't rush. You'll be fine.
Good luck.

lilmommakris · Jun 20, 2009, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by Catsmine

By the way, I'm built like a Sumo wrestler, and I've never had a problem finding love.

Heck yeah! More to love means they be sleeping with a big fluffy teddy bear! Big boyz are fun to snuggle with!:)

nikosmom · Jun 20, 2009, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by lilmommakris

heck yeah! more to love means they be sleepin with a big fluffy teddy bear! big boyz are fun to snuggle with!:)

This actually makes an interesting point. Some women like big guys. Just like some guys like big girls. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of what's attractive. If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself and to be healthy. But some women like the "teddy bear" type. Just be sure to present yourself well; wear clothes that look good on your body type and groom yourself well. Don't think because you've put on some weight that you have to "let yourself go"- work with the body you have right now.

I agree with the other posts though; counseling is in order to build up yourself esteem; and you should try to make friends with women before seeking relationships. Even if it's just being nice to the receptionist at your job or the waitress at the coffee shop you frequent; it will help you to get more comfortable talking to women.

Rushed19 · Jun 21, 2009, 12:52 PM

Being fat isn't about looks, it has a serious affect on your health, women like someone who cares about themselves, because if you don't care about yourself properly how can you care for someone else?

slapshot_oi · Jun 23, 2009, 12:53 PM

Unless there's a reason why you shouldn't, get on a diet and go to the gym. Ya this may be insensitive but you're 29, and it's not like height or hair-loss where it's out of your control. It all starts and ends with you, you don't like your own image, so neither will any woman you meet. Lose the weight, build the confidence, and then go out and meet women, you'll have much better luck.

I'm a programmer too and I've found it increasingly hard to stay in shape without exercise, before this is was fairly simple. Pencil pushing engineers at least move around the office and to the production floor, we sit in front of a screen all day.

In short, learn to like yourself, but don't fake it.

jenniepepsi · Jun 23, 2009, 12:56 PM

Slapshot is right. Its all about YOU. If you are uncomfratable with how you look, then do something about it.

maria73110 · Jun 23, 2009, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by virginguy

Dear, thw words written by you are really great....and i mean that...thats true. but how should i dont expect it...as i am really in need of that only.
The main concern for me is how should i approach a girl, when i am afraid of "NO".

You are the creator of your own experience. And no one can create for you. It seems like your hormones have been trying to catch up with you, and you probably think about sex all the time.

You can't expect to attract a nice girl if you are not nice to yourself first. No one wants to hook up with someone who has low self esteem. You can be fat and still not let it bother you. Obviously, you are bothered by your body image. So, do something about it. Lose the weight. If you feel that no one likes to be with a fat guy, you will attract women who do not like to be with fat guys. The Law of Attraction is powerful What you focus on, you will attract.

Feel good about people. Believe that there is someone for you. If you don't get out of your office and socialize, you are doing this to yourself. It's like wanting to be clean and yet you refuse to do laundry or take a shower.

IF being a virgin is a problem to you, you can fix that easily. It's all up to you and what you are willing to do to make it happen. Satisfy your urges, hire a prostitute, masterbate, etc.. All of these are within your capacity.

Good luck.

vivia12 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:53 PM

I was reading your post and go confused about the gay part,
Hey thin people have trouble meeting people also, its not a question of body weight,but self esteem; One can always use good friends to help them support through tough times so if you need a friend,and feel better about yourself,its not easy but you can do it

virginguy · Jun 26, 2009, 11:15 AM

Thanks to all the people out here, for there great advice. I will try to reduce my weight, and will try to have a positive attitute about Life,People and Myself Too...

Thanks A Lot

ohsohappy · Jun 26, 2009, 04:43 PM

The main thing is that you are comfortable with yourself. Unfortunately a lot of people in the world are attracted to looks first. But that doesn't mean that you aren't attractive. And everyone has their own definition of what they find is attractive.

Here's what I would suggest. If you really aren't comfortable with your weight, see if there is a health club or something in your area. Not only would it help you gain more confidence in your appearance, but it's a good way to meet people. Especially women.

More important than that, Keep being a kind hearted guy. Be yourself and stick to what you believe in. Don't compromise any part of yourself to get a woman to like you, because you want her to like her for who you really are. That's the most important thing. Don't hold back becaue you're afraid someone won't like you. It doesn't matter, mostly because someone else will. And that's very respectable in a person.

I hope I helped, Good luck. I'm sure you'll meet someone. :)

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