[Sphira]

OK so I have a very socail problem IM A FLIRTIHOLIC

I don't do it on purpase but if I'm attracted to a guy I'll give him flirty looks and I talk to him and get to know him BUT I don't really want to full on date him I just want to flirt with him

How do I stop this it seems so wrong I asked my mate and she said to think of potatoes when I felt myself getting flirty but it didn't help

HELP ME

[Jake2008]

You have to see yourself as others see you, and it's not pretty.

When you come on to somebody you find attractive, it is not subtle, it is a come-on and a challenge to conquest. You describe yourself as a flirtiholic, so I presume you are quite successful in gaining somebody's attention.

It is quite obvious to all what you are doing. Trying to get attention, or trying to be the centre of attention. You have somehow made this game as part of how you socialize with men, or how you pick a target. While you may think that it is harmless, it is not. What you think might be cute and sexy, is picked up as a sexual come-on which is what it is.

You think it is admiration or approval coming from your little show, but it isn't. You may as well hang a sign from your neck, walk the street outside and save the covercharge. Men you are flirting with think of you as available, not too bright, and hardly material to exchange phone numbers with.

It is a dangerous game. If you actually go beyond the tease and take men home with you, you risk your health, and you risk your safety. Men go looking for women like you who like to appear easy.

Some of the men you are enticing have wives, girlfriends, kids at home, a mortgage and car payments. They can't afford to take you up on your visual offerings, but enjoy watching you make a fool out of yourself. More bang for the beer buck.

As someone who worked my way through college by working in bars, I've seen many like you come and go. Fuled by a lack of self esteem, a need to be wanted, and alcohol, you don't hear the comments. There are more raised eyebrows than admiring looks, and more nervous giggles from complete strangers than you realize. But, girls like you keep the beer flowing, and that's good for business.

You may not think you are, but you're not as slick as you perceive yourself to be. Flirtiholics as you called yourself, is a sign of desperation to boost your ego, and appear desirable. That's pretty sad.

[TJ17]

Flirting is natural, everyone does it to some extent, it's when it gets overboard that problems can arise, especially when the guy your flirting with can't tell the difference of flirting or if your making sexual advances towards him.
If your not doing it on purpose then that's probably just how you are, and telling you a sure fire way of stopping you do it is beyond any people here I think, because only you hold that power in stopping it.

If all else fails just think of the guys as your brother or dad, that should put a dampener on any kind of flirting... unless your into that type of thing, then I guess your back where you started. :eek:

[Sphira]

Well the guys I flirt with are deffinatly not with kids or wives I'm only in my last year of high school and I really think that if I thought of my bro when I was flirting that would put an end to it I will try thanks