[theresbeautyinu]

Nah... I'm not a singer... I'm better with what I already do.

[Clough]

nah... im not a singer... im better with what i already do.

Okay, then I won't try do that with you...

Thanks!

[theresbeautyinu]

What do you mean? Are you mad at me?

[Nestorian]

yea, plus i can't sing...

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
-Kurt Vonnegut

“Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.”
-Evan Esar

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”
Edward Everett Hale

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller quotes

“What I am looking for is not "out there", it is in me”
Helen Keller quotes
“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”
Confucius

"Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes."
Confucius

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”
Confucius

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
Confucius

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~Andre Gide

“Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.” ~Baba Ram Dass

“Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” ~Edward Albee

“You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.” ~William Blake, Proverbs of Hell

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.” ~James Thurber

“If I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be right
From mirror after mirror,
No vanity's displayed:
I'm looking for the face I had
Before the world was made.”
~W.B. Yeats

“If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am?” ~John Lancaster Spalding

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts, but if he will content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.” ~Francis Bacon

“Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.” ~Matsuo Basho
(I find this one interesting as many follow jesus, but how many seek what he sought? )

"The best things in life are worth waiting for.” - Unknown

You say, "you don't want to wake up unhappy" Well provided you are not depressed in terms of mental illness or doing drugs (alcohol is a drug too.), then what is stopping you? Also, do you know what the declaration of independence says about the pursuit of happiness? I suggest you read it, because it's very interesting.

I'm not sure exactly what your situation is, but I hope you learn that nothing you ever do can separate you from GOD, or at least what I've come to realize as GOD. I don't believe in the bible, mind you it does have it's wisedom, but not all of it seems wise to me. What ever you believe, I think GOD is with you, even now.

May Peace and kindness bewith you.

P.S. I've go a lot of experience with waking up and feeling dreadful of the day, I was diagnosed with depression 10 years ago, then 5-7 months ago I was rediagnosed with Bipolar(I was more depressive than manic though.). I know what it means to wake up and not see any reason for being. I found a way to get out of my depression/mania, and so you can.

[theresbeautyinu]

I know I can... but, for some reason, I'm not letting myself, and I don't know why yet.

[theresbeautyinu]

Nestorian, what was your way out?

[Nestorian]

Nestorian, what was your way out?

I would go for long walks, and sing as loud as I felt like. I did this away from people houses. I lived out of town. But in town I still sing to myself as I walk, and I don't care who is listening, because if they don't like it I'm not singing overly loud, and it's not like they can't just buggar off any who. Or I will sit in my room head phones on and belt it out as loud as I can, let my voice compleately die. Then, carry on with regular everyday stuff.

I also do this thing, where while I'm walking I try to stop thinking, as you can not simply tell yourself to stop thinking or you will think more, by focusing on something seemingly insignificant. Like a pebble, or a crack in the pavment, the piece of garbage on the ground/flour, The sound of vehicles engines, the moving parts that I know about working hard to keep the vehicle in motion, the light of the sun washing my face, the sound of the wind/brease, the trees as they sway to the motion of the air, the people blissfully unaware of the beauty of it all. Foolishly refusing to listen to the wisedom of it all.

I understand how dumb that sounds, but, as yuor name implies there is beauty in me and you and all others, this is true for all things. To obtain peace of mind, as this i'm sure is what you are looking for, one must be at peace with mindfulness. Many of us are too busy with what we wear, how we look, what people think of us, how well we are doing in school or work, who our precieved love is, what our future maybe, what we did wrong in the past, and so on. Do any of these things really matter? No i'm not saying to quit school or a job, but that what are you working for if not to take the time to acknowlege the possibility layed before you, now and again?

You say you want to release but you won't sing, why are you putting a rigid requirement on it if you haven't honestly tried to do this before? Don't be afraid of what others may think, let go and alow yourself to release. If you can't let loose, then there is not release. (Alcohol, or any other drugs, including Salvia are not releasing they are imprisoning people. They deteriorate the mind and blind those who cheerish them. So please stay a way from those.) What I'm saying is, find a healthy way to express yourself, that works for you. Only you know yourself well enough to do such things, as it is your life to live. Make some you time, that you do just something you want to do each day for a while, say 20-30minutes at least. Please do let us know how you are doing.

Take care, breath, relax. Don't confuse life altering, school projects due/conflict with friends or family/Job issues/deciding which school you want to go to, with Life threatoning, cancer/AIDS/MS/Car accident/poisoning of some sort.

What do you see when you look in the Mirror?

Peace and kindness be with you.

[theresbeautyinu]

Hmm... thanks. I live in out of town too, its hard to get out. I am on the track team for school, and I've found that to help out too... it keeps me busy and I've made a couple new friends with it... but like, when I'm at home... I have nothing to do and sad thoughts come into me and then... like my happiness and faith just shuts off...

[Nestorian]

One major thing to remember, always remember:

Our feelings don't always reflect the truth. They are deceptive, and confusing.

You want to buy a really nice car but can't afford it, but the sales guy says "we'll give you a deal on it!" So they knock it down a bit in price, then you get the financing for it. You become over welmed with bills. Your feelings betray you, be mindful of them but do not act souly upon them.

When I wake up misserable, I fight myself to get up and get out do something anything! The more you use will power the more you have it.

[theresbeautyinu]

I don't think I know how.

[Nestorian]

hmm... thanks. i live in out of town too, its hard to get out. i am on the track team for school, and iv found that to help out too... it keeps me busy and iv made a couple new friends with it... but like, when im at home... i have nothing to do and sad thoughts come into me and then... like my happiness and faith just shuts off...

Track team is a good thing, gets you up and pushes those endorphins into the brain. And you've made some friends, that's good to.

It sounds like to me that when you are alone with your thoughts you drift into all the negative stuff eh?

What is your religious beliefs?

[Nestorian]

The trick is to find things to ocupy the mind with. What kind of activities do you do at home?

What are some hobbies or interests of yours?

I hope you don't mind my asking all this of you.

[theresbeautyinu]

Yeah... I can't stand being alone!

And I don't go to church anymore... I used to but, we just started going less and less and now not at all... so I'm not really religious.
But I do believe in Heaven and Hell and God and Satan.

[Nestorian]

yeah... i can't stand being alone!

and i dont go to church anymore... i used to but, we just started going less and less and now not at all... so im not really religious.
but i do believe in Heaven and Hell and God and Satan.

Bummer, I always thought religion was something that was apart of us. BUt I guess not... ;) I don't know what GOD really is, or where heaven/hell are, or if there is a satan. But It makes sense to me that GOD is not souly found in the "Good book", nor a Church. As I understand it, GOD is everything that is and isn't. Just because you are not going to church doesn't have to mean you aren't religious.

Do you still pray? Perhaps this will do you good. Some meditate, use self affrimations, or imagination to make their brains change for the better or worse.

I know you won't magically feel better, but if you can try every day to believe you will. Pray if that helps, I meditate as I feel more at peace just being one with life, rather than asking for something or saying thanks.


So you don't draw, write, paint; what about computer arts? PLaying a musical instrament, doing cool science experiements (I bet you get an amazing site of the stars at night, man I miss that.:( )Dancing? Anything you'd like to work on, that might be interesting to you?

P.S. Yeah, I can't stand beging alone either, but I don't like groups of people.

[theresbeautyinu]

Not at all, I'm just glad there's someone to talk to... at home, I just listen to music... and I cry allot... and write poetry... but sometimes all I can think about is the things that make me suffer... and I can't ever think about anything else.

[theresbeautyinu]

I pray when I have a bad day, or when a friends in need, and I do play an instrument to, but my teacher don't really like me and I don't like him so... it makes it harder for me to play.

[Nestorian]

not at all, im just glad theres somone to talk to... at home, i just listen to music... and i cry allot... and write poetry.... but sometimes all i can think about is the things that make me suffer.... and i can't ever think about anything else.

Self disapline like me perhaps? We have to learn to train our minds to focus. This will sound dumb I'm sure, but put a post-it on your wall or where ever you spend the most time, and write on it something that will force your mind back to a positive. It can be anything, a funny phrase, joke, insperational words so on.

But, it has to tak your mind off those things. Try to listen to happier music too, if you listen to sad music at home, even if you think it's not sad but it has a sad theme to it, change that shizit up.

Also, write a few good things on them and stick them around the house. They can say things like: "My you look good to day." or "take a chance" or "things you like about you." or "something that make you feel good."

I have not got around to do this yet, but I fully intend to. I have a few friends who do this and they are happy a lot more than me.

[Nestorian]

See you're religious. ;)

Bummer about your teacher, what instrament do you play?

[theresbeautyinu]

I've tried so many things but after I do all of that... I feel accomplished and everything... then a day or sometimes hours... I fight against the happy feelings... like there's two people inside me... one that likes to see me suffer and the other that strives to see me happy... and no matter what, the one that likes to see me suffer is always more dominate... more controlling.

[theresbeautyinu]

I play the violin... I love it... but he says I can do better and everything. =\