[starlite1]

Hi Tony,

That is a great thing to do! It will keep your mind off her, and allows you to focus on yourself.

[crazyoverher]

Hey tony... yeah... its a good thing to focus on something else just like they all said! If it wasn't for them, id be even CRAZIER now! Lol

Cuz, she has a support group, be it her slu&& friends or not... I only had this forum... cyber but its real to me.

Its good because you get a lot of opinons instead of just a few like your friends would normally have... anyway... my advice is to not only keep busy but at night... sorry to say guys, what's helped me was a couple of beers and unwinding from the day.

I still think about her late at night when I'm lying in bed and my thoughts turn to companionship but I think of all the DRAMA that I'm not having AND how many people besides me, have gone through my same thing, and it makes me not HAPPY but at least "understood" and not alone with what has happened or is happening to me.

That said, although you'll have feelings for her, like me, they're just going to slowly fade away and it will be strange but if others can go through my type of pain, I think I can.

Still I'm wounded though... but I'm not in self pity and I think that that's because, I'm SURE she's not caring about me and having the time of her life! Because if she did love me, then whatever I said about a timeline or ultimatum... and pleaded with her not to contact me till then... it wouldn't have mattered if she wanted me very badly... she would have caved in by now, I think

What does everyone here think? Although I told her "if you love me, then leave me alone until then"
Don't you think that she would say "dam the situation but i want you back NOW?"

Thanks... and please feel free to comment you guys.

[tony71]

I'm at work, feeling alittl down. I think tonight I will drink a little which makes me happy.

What sucks is my close friends they all moved to CA, one of them has been in relationships and had a few break ups and he has helped me out. In fact we are all going to vegas end of the month, hopefully that will take my mind off her.

The thing here is I wanted to marry her but at the same time 50% of me didn't. My family did not like her and she did not even try to make them like her. I know she has been depressed about this, but this time the ball is in her court. She needs to call me this way I can tell her if she wants to get back she needs to drop the crap about me converting to any religion period.

[tony71]

Crazyoverher,

I been reading your posts from the beginning and you have changed since 2 months just judging by the posts. You seem to be less depressed than you were at the beginning, you may not know it but we do.

[heartbroke]

I have bailed off the depression boat because I have found my new passion. If you feel down listen to that song "hope it gives you hell" by the all american rejects, works wonders. I couldn't do this to myself anymore, and I feel wonderful.

[tony71]

I'm listetning to the new Depeche Mode album, even thought it is not out and the song that stands out Peace, makes me realize I can move on...

They also have one of their old song called Love, in itself...

Whenever I was down or depress, I always listened to this band and they get me through.
Of course some of their songs are sucidal, but I stay away from those. Lol

[crazyoverher]

Hey tony71... I don't feel like I've progressed much but maybe your right.. I hope you are... well, I too wanted to marry my girlfriend... we talked about it all the time... mostly it was her but then she stopped. I should have picked up on that... I did in a way.. but I really think that she broke up with me because she knew that I wanted to move forward with her and she was just using that marriage line to argue with me until I was ready... then she couldn't say anthing anymore... and she left.

heartbroke... I too am tired of being depressed, trying to pick myself off that..

[tony71]

Crazy,

Last night after drinking it felt good and I was happy, but this morning its depressing again.

Funny you mention marriage, my girlfriend constantly talked about getting marriage but towards the end she stopped too. She then said she couldn't marry me if I did not convert.

[tony71]

I have a question, if I had doubts about marrying the girl then is that a sign that I didn't want to marry her?

[tony71]

Here is how you have progressed, in the beginning when you first posted you wanted to contact her so bad, everyone here were saying you should do the NC and you agreed, but then you come back and posted that you are going crazy and you need to contact her just to see how she is doing. Honestly, the first 10 or 20 posts, I started to think maybe you are just joking around on this board, but as I read more of the post it was obvious you were really looking for good advises and you got a lot.

But now it has been a few weeks and you haven't called or texted her or emailed her.
So a lot has changed. I guess my situation maybe less drama, since in my mind I sometime wanted to break it off myself, I loved her but she was either happy or mad. There were times I loved her to death and times I wished she would get the hell out of my life.

hey tony71....i dont feel like ive progressed much but maybe ur right..i hope you are...well, i too wanted to marry my girlfriend...we talked about it all the time...mostly it was her but then she stopped. i should have picked up on that...i did in a way..but i really think that she broke up with me because she knew that i wanted to move forward with her and she was just using that marriage line to argue with me until i was ready...then she couldnt say anthing anymore...and she left.

heartbroke...i too am tired of being depressed, trying to pick myself off of that..

[crazyoverher]

Thanks tony71... I appreciate your comments... and I don't think that if you had any doubts that that in itself was a sign you shouldn't marry her.

I think that you should have doubts. I think that you should do everything in your power so that you DO have doubts... and if you still love her in spite of all that... then she's the girl for you... if SHE feels the same.

[crazyoverher]

My update...

Well I feel kind of I guess, "accepting" or resigned to what is happening if that makes sense to any of youall.

I hel! Still love her but I don't want to be unhappy and like heart... im tired of being down. I want to do so much and I really wish she could be there but if not... well that's life. Its really good to see (dont mean to be happy about this) that other guys and gals share my same emotions.

Anyway, last night I was thinking about all my emotions and how she shouldn't be soooo happy and enjoying her life if I'm suffering!! She should suffer too. BUT the reality is that maybe she isn't suffering... maybe she really is having fun etc... with out me.

It's a hard pill to swallow.

Its like I'm greiving over her for nothing... and I realize that and that makes it even worse!

Well anyway, our mutual friend inadvertenly said in one of his emails, that he hopes that we reconcile... welll that my friends is him telling me that she still doesn't want me... at least that's what I think...

When I read that, I was kind of emtionless. I thought that that was strange. It was like, well if we do we do... if we don't then we don't.

And then I thought... let me enjoy what I have, because soon I won't. We only live a short time and then that's it...

Comments?

[kctiger]

Did you or did you not tell your "mutual" friend to keep his mouth shut about ANYTHING revolving around her? Does he understand EnglisH?

[crazyoverher]

I know I know... some of you out there say... "ive heard that before from him" yeah, but that's honestly what I'm thinking. I mean would I take her back? Probably. But I wouldn't take her abuse anymore. Would it last then? Probably not. But learning about yourself and how to handle this rejection is a good lesson.

I'm looking at it like the more I suffer and the way I've had this relationship and all... I could better advise my children... and THEIR heartaches... when they experience what I'm going through... I don't have kids yet but I want some and so having "daddy" understand what they feel.. because I felt it too... I think will make them healthier and happier in life.

[crazyoverher]

Kc... let me forward u the email... and u all out there tell me... maybe I'm just "looking" for things... u tell me...

[tony71]

Here is what you need to do, take a vacation with friends. Go out and have fun and try to forget about her. I may sound superstious, but when you are not thinking about her and having fun, it will be vice versa and she will be the one thinking about you.

I'm going to vegas end of the month, that should be fun will ease my mind that's for sure.

My update....

Well i feel kinda i guess, "accepting" or resigned to what is happening if that makes sense to any of youall.

I hel! still love her but i dont want to be unhappy and like heart...im tired of being down. I want to do so much and i really wish she could be there but if not...well thats life. its really good to see (dont mean to be happy about this) that other guys and gals share my same emotions.

anyway, last night i was thinking about all my emotions and how she shouldnt be soooo happy and enjoying her life if im suffering!!! she should suffer too. BUT the reality is that maybe she isnt suffering...maybe she really is having fun etc...with out me.

its a hard pill to swallow.

its like im greiving over her for nothing...and i realize that and that makes it even worse!

well anyway, our mutual friend inadvertenly said in one of his emails, that he hopes that we reconcile...welll that my friends is him telling me that she still doesnt want me...at least thats what i think....

when i read that, i was kinda emtionless. i thought that that was strange. it was like, well if we do we do...if we dont then we dont.

and then i thought...let me enjoy what i have, because soon i wont. we only live a short time and then thats it....

comments?

[crazyoverher]

I want more than anything than for you two to reunite and continue your love affair. I know you want that more than anything too but I too pray for your reconciliation with her. I know what it is to have your"soulmate" so close but yet still so far away... I look forward to spending time having a beer

That's what our friend said to me today...

[kctiger]

Tell your "friend" to continue to keep his mouth shut about this stuff... clearly he is a drama queen!

What is this dude's name? He sounds like the type of dude that reads Cosmo

[crazyoverher]

That's funny Tony71!! Maybe that does happen... when u have fun.. it switches... :) yeah, vegas will be a blast... ull have a great time.

[crazyoverher]

His names TODD