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![MelanieM's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
New Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:16 PM
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Stuck in a Relationship!
I'm 23 and have been in a relationship with a man for two years now. I feel like I'm absolutely stuck in it, I feel like I can't get out. I started dating him my during university, and about 8 months into the relationship I realized I didn't love him. When I tried to break up with him, he threatened suicide. Now, this didn't seem like him at all, so I didn't believe him. I broke up with him and he wound up in the hospital after he actually attempted suicide. I got back together with him after that, because I was so scared and shocked about what he had just done. Now, it's been two years and I'm currently living with him. The only good thing that has come out of this relationship is that my dad is now talking to me. After my mom died when I was 13, I really lost my dad too. A couple years after her death he moved to Las Vegas, leaving me to stay with my uncle in Colorado. I was hurt that he didn't even try to contact me, but after I got into the relationship he called me. Now he calls me daily. I believe it's because of the relationship because my boyfriend is actually incredibly rich, and I feel that's the only reason my dad is talking to me. He actually comes from Las Vegas to New York City (where I currently reside) to see "me".
Sorry about the incredibly long story, but it's very complicated. I am getting my boyfriend help but it doesn't seem to be working. And now, he is even more jealous than he was before! It's suffocating. Please, any advice would be helpful.
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![R-J-S-InLove's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
Junior Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:22 PM
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Walk out of this relation as soon as possible, I'd say run dear!!
If you don't want it then why are you doing it??
If he's threatening suicide take help of others, warn his family or police about it. Just leave him, its no good staying with someone out of sympathy or fear, is it?
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![xyz2009's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
New Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:32 PM
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Hi Melanie,
There is no reasonthat you are bound to stay in a relationship because your boyfriend threatens you and actually will attempt suicide. That shows that he almost definatley needs to seek mental help.
It is selfish of him to keep you in a relationship because of his fear to face life without you. I think it is your decision to weigh your positives and negatives in the realationship and see if you really will be happier to leave him. If you do choose to lave him then it is upon him to be responsible for his actions as a adult. If he is not strong enough to face the realities of life and suicide is the only answer to him then Im sorry I have to say it like this but let it be. You need to do what is right for you and his weakness should not hold you down. That is his problem. THe deeper you grow your relationship with him the deeper/harder you'll be in to get out. If a person has no respect for himself then what gauruntees you that he maynot attempt to hurt his loved ones.
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![LoveStoned's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
Junior Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:43 PM
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Your boyfriend needs professionl help. There's nothing you can do to help him. You can't live your life with someone who doesn't make you happy. Also, God only knows what else he would do to have you all to himself. This is going to turn into a very controlling relationship and toxic at that. And not to be rude but your dad sounds very selfish to be speaking to you only because he know your b/f has money. He should be there for father figure purposes.
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![MelanieM's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
New Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:52 PM
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No, you're not being rude. I know it as well.
Thank you for all your answers... you've been really helpful :) I really see the need to leave now, though it will be difficult.
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![chuff's Avatar](image.php?u=51541&dateline=1238967961) |
Ultra Member
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Apr 5, 2009, 09:57 PM
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You have a life to lead. So does he, if he chooses to end it that's his choice. Get your local suicide hotline number, and then break up with him. If he threatens suicide, tell him you realize this is a shock and you don't want to see him do that, but you aren't happy anymore. Then give him the phone number for the suicide hotline.
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![liz28's Avatar](image.php?u=315759&dateline=1334930578) |
Ultra Member
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Apr 6, 2009, 04:55 AM
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He is emotionally trapping you in a relationship that you wants no part of. Never stay with someone out of pity and compromise yourself from finding your own happiness.
Staying with him, especially when you want out, will only cause you depression. And why should you be stuck with someone being their prisoner of love. He might as well keep you locked up in the house for the next years to come.
Break free now. You have your life to live and he has his. What he do with his life is his choice. If you really feel he is going harm himself than call 911 and let him be put in the pysch ward because his obsessive behavior isn't good for you nor him. Or you can leave this nationally suicide hotline with him 1800-273-talk.
Please do what is best for you not what is best for him. He needs help and counseling but it has nothing to do with you. He's crazy and sick in the head and staying with him only because he threaten suicide and tried to carry out those attempt before, is just his ways of keeping you around but this is no way to keep someone in a relationship. Break free!
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![ylaira's Avatar](image.php?u=346491&dateline=1239049394) |
Ultra Member
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Apr 6, 2009, 05:09 AM
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Just move out, leave a note and don't look back.
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![talaniman's Avatar](image.php?u=23847&dateline=1375112334) |
Expert
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Apr 6, 2009, 05:23 AM
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Why do you let him blackmail you with his suicide threats? Don't allow it by leaving and staying away.
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![iloveyousomuchx's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
New Member
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Apr 6, 2009, 05:31 AM
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If you are scared of what he will do when you break up with him then when he is out at work leave a note and don't go back take all your belongings. Tell your father why you are doing this and if he says go back to him, your father is gold digging. Get rid of all of them and start your life again, your young enough too. I hope this has helped x
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![sendosha's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
New Member
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Apr 9, 2009, 12:39 AM
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He sounds horribly manipulative and controlling. Ewww. Get out now!
__________________________________________________ ____________________
If by "happy" you mean trapped with no means of escape, then yes I am happy....
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![tony71's Avatar](/images/avatars/default_avatar.gif) |
Junior Member
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Apr 9, 2009, 06:37 AM
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There comes a time you need to turn the other way and walk away and let others(his family) take care of the issues your boyfriend is having, not you.
![Quote](custom/vgo/images/misc/quote_icon.png) Originally Posted by MelanieM
No, you're not being rude. I know it as well.
Thank you for all your answers...you've been really helpful :) I really see the need to leave now, though it will be difficult.
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