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Beauty1019 · Apr 1, 2009, 08:47 AM

My name's brittany. I'm 21-years old, and am married. My husband is 29-years old and abusive. I want to get out of the marriage but don't know how. Can someone give me some advice?:confused:

artlady · Apr 1, 2009, 08:52 AM

If you are in the U.S you can call this number
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
It is free and they can advise you on what programs are available in your area and help you to get to a safe place.
Do not hesitate to act and do not be afraid.
You could be in a safe place by today if you act now.
Be strong and you will get through this.

nikosmom · Apr 1, 2009, 08:57 AM

First, you will have to commit to the idea of leaving.

Do you have anywhere to go?
You pick up and leave.

You can sort out the details later if you feel you need to escape.

If it's the type of situation where you want to tell him that you're ready to end the marriage, do so, and file for divorce.

Leaving an abusive relationship is a very difficult thing to do but you have to be unwaivering on your decision to get out of it because he will try to get you to come back. Most importantly get out of it now; do what's best for you and worry about the rest later. Don't focus on "We have this nice house" or "He's the breadwinner and I don't have much money of my own". Get. Out.

nikosmom · Apr 1, 2009, 08:58 AM

Sorry Artsy, had to spread the rep- but that's great info!

nikosmom · Apr 1, 2009, 09:15 AM

artlady agrees: I stayed for so many years and numerous hospital stays until one day I just snapped and said what am I doing to my life and my kids? It was like a revelation from God.

Artsy, so sorry to hear you dealt with it but you're not alone. Many of us have been in abusive relationships.

Eventually you get to the point of ENOUGH and you leave at all costs.

Once you get out, trust me, you will not regret leaving.

I never look back and wish I'd stayed in it, what about you Artsy?
Leave while you can because it will only escalate.

shatteredsoul · Apr 2, 2009, 03:00 PM

Get out, get help and stay away from him. You are young and you have to save yourself now before you waste more of your time with someone who abuses you. It won't get better. IT will get more violent, he will control your every move and you won't have any freedom. This isn't love and it isn't healthy. The longer you stay, its like staying with a ticking time bomb. It isn't easy to leave and you will have to get a restraining order. He may still come after you... but if you can get away and stay somewhere safe, do it as quickly as you can.

shyfoxie · Apr 2, 2009, 04:01 PM

Do have any close, supportive friends or relatives you could stay with? Nearby women's shelter? Get out of the house, file for restraining order and as long as you stay apart long enough that should give you sufficient grounds for divorce on top of the abuse.
It'll be really hard but just keep telling yourself you are a strong woman, surround yourself with trustworthy, supportive people and you'll get through this. Just remember: NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS you know what is right for you.
You're still young, you've got a lot of life ahead of you still, don't waste it.