[lbes37]

I have been dating a guy for 3 months. He as a 7 yr old daughter with an exgirlfriend who he dated on and off for 10 years. They have been apart 8 months. He dated several women prior to me and was living with another ex shortly after the break up. It was a great three months. Never fought, texted me all the time that he wished he has met me sooner and that he never felt connected to anyone like he feels with me. The ex decides to break up with her boyfriend and tells him she wants him back. We had just started dating. She tried to use their daughte as leverage. He told me that he wanted to be with me and she would have to get past it She neve did. We had an amazing weekend tn St. Augustine and he told me he loved me. The very next day, we get back and he goes to spend time with his daughter. Turns out, the ex looks and acts like a train wreck and has stated without him she wants to kill herself. Her mother goes to him and says she is so worried they have her on suicide watch. She had gone to all of his friends she could find, pleaded with desperation to help her get him back and created tons of drama. I knew none of this. THen that night, he tells me he is coming see me and I can tell something is wrong. He tells me everything and I ask him if he is coming to end it and it just fell apart from there. He claimed he loved me but is worried about her and what this is doing to his daughter and told her he would end it with me. He said that he needs to do this even though he thinks nothing has changed and everyone is telling him he is crazy and this is a mistake. He hopes if it doesn't work out and I am single still, that I will consider taking him back. I am just devastated. This week has been nothing but texts of me saying I am fine and this was the best decision and I am moving on when I really want to tell him he ripped out my heart. He is contacting me and telling me how sorry he is and how wonderful I am and that he misses me. Finally today, I deciden no more contact. I know it has only been three months, but I am just blindsided. What do I do? Everyone says this is short lived, but I don't know how to handle this. He reminded me that my exhusband and I tried to work it out one time and both dumped other people in the process and that he is just trying to do what's right and give it one more try. I feel lost... and why is he still telling me he feels connected to me and misses me?

[smalltowngal]

It's very likely that he really does feel connected to you and is missing you. Because there is a child, he will forever have a connection to this woman. And because of the child, he will always care for her--not love her, but care for her. It can be a very unfair world for men when the women decide to use the child as a pawn. He worries that she will keep her from him. And regardless of the laws that say he has a right to see his daughter, believe me, she can keep him from seeing her. He also doesn't want to think of how his daughter will feel if her mommy does kill herself. It really is best that you take a step back and just allow him to do what he needs to do. They are his family, like it or not, and he has an obligation to them. Not necessarily because he is in love with his ex, but because of their daughter. He has an obligation to her to help her mother. She needs professional help, and until she is well, his life is on hold. I feel terrible for you and for him, but she's dealing with an illness. Please don't resent him for this. Try to move on with your life for now, remember he is doing what he needs to do, at least for the time being, and if you are meant to be together, he will find you when this is all over.

[talaniman]

Have empathy for his situation with his ex, and his daughter, it can't be easy for him, but move on to less confusion and drama.

He may care, but is confronted with a big headache right now, that may never go away.