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kctiger · Jan 20, 2009, 07:51 AM

What do you hope to get out of a promise ring? If you don't consider it a step towards marriage, then why do you need him to give you one? Is it so you have assurance he is committed to you? Just want to be clear here before I deliver my honest opinion...

Google Results: Pretty much what Rome stated...(Click Me)

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 07:55 AM

I love when people think they know it all. I've never given a promise ring to someone just for friendship, sure it can mean that, but it's not common these days. Perhaps googling it for you meant going to the first site(wiki) which is NOT an acceptable source of information in a college format, oh wait you wouldn't know that.

I'm not going to dispute with you, your intentions of wanting a promise ring were quite clear. Your feelings were hurt because he said "no way" to a promise ring. If you were ready for a promise ring, this relationship would have an open line of communication in which you can communicate freely to him your concerns without an argument or judgemental actions.

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 07:57 AM

[QUOTE=kctiger;1497472]What do you hope to get out of a promise ring? If you don't consider it a step towards marriage, then why do you need him to give you one? Is it so you have assurance he is committed to you? Just want to be clear here before I deliver my honest opinion...

I don't NEED him to give me one. If you read my question again I never actually said I wanted one or needed one. It was more the fact he was so quick to say no no no blah blah, and trying to understand what the meaning, if there is one, is behind it.

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:00 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I love when people think they know it all. I've never given a promise ring to someone just for friendship, sure it can mean that, but it's not common these days. Perhaps googling it for you meant going to the first site(wiki) which is NOT an acceptable source of information in a college format, oh wait you wouldn't know that.

I'm not going to dispute with you, your intentions of wanting a promise ring were quite clear. Your feelings were hurt because he said "no way" to a promise ring. If you were ready for a promise ring, this relationship would have an open line of communication in which you can communicate freely to him your concerns without an argument or judgemental actions.

I didn't look at wiki but anyway. And I'm not saying I know everything, and oh big college boy hey haha. And read my question again, I never said I wanted one or needed one, I was concerned by his reaction and what was the meaning behind it. And it may not be common these days, but its done for personal prmoises between two people, so what does it matter whether others do it or not?

kctiger · Jan 20, 2009, 08:00 AM

Perhaps he just doesn't believe in it, or he himself has some deep belief in the meaning of it, and isn't ready for that step yet. I am not sure you should over analyze it though. I am not trying to ruffle your feathers by the way, I just wanted to make sure I got a clear path to write my opinion.

As far as him being unaffectionate, I would assume that maybe your "honeymoon" phase is coming to an end, or the relationship has fallen into a deep, predictable pattern, and he has become complacent.

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:02 AM

You're only proving my point and possibly his at why he so quickly said "no" to a promise ring.

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Perhaps he just doesn't believe in it, or he himself has some deep belief in the meaning of it, and isn't ready for that step yet. I am not sure you should over analyze it though. I am not trying to ruffle your feathers by the way, I just wanted to make sure I got a clear path to write my opinion.

As far as him being unaffectionate, I would assume that maybe your "honeymoon" phase is coming to an end, or the relationship has fallen into a deep, predictable pattern, and he has become complacent.

Yeah I know all that. But I want to know some ways to get it back to how it was!

kctiger · Jan 20, 2009, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by secret_123

he fact that he doesnt want to consider a promise ring scares me into thinking he isnt 100% committed. What should i do?

This is from your question. So my answer:

Grow up. A promise ring has nothing to do with commitment... you are reading way too much into it. Talk to him about this if you have a problem, but don't let it screw with your mind.

Carry on... :cool:

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

You're only proving my point and possibly his at why he so quickly said "no" to a promise ring.

And why is that buddy?

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:04 AM

Communication is how you get it back to how it used to be. People change all the time, as do relationships between those people. If you can't talk about how you are feeling and what is concerning you then it's not going to get any better.

How many problems have been solved by sweeping it under the rug?

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

You're only proving my point and possibly his at why he so quickly said "no" to a promise ring.

Oh and by the way, maybe you should read, then re-read my question. I never said I asked him for one or anything. Its not about the ring. Its about the meaning.

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by secret_123

and why is that buddy?

You are acting juvenile and he may be sensing this. You made it clear what your concerns were about the promise ring as KC pointed out.

Oh and I'll continue this lovely Dane Cook "buddy" crap I guess, so "that's why you're proving my point, pal"

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

This is from your question. So my answer:

Grow up. A promise ring has nothing to do with committment...you are reading way too much into it. Talk to him about this if you have a problem, but don't let it screw with your mind.

Carry on...:cool:

So you seriously think promise rings have nothing to do with commitment. Then what exactly do you think they are for?

kctiger · Jan 20, 2009, 08:08 AM

Look Secret, the clear point is this:

If you are feeling that something has changed and you don't like it, talk to him about it. Seriously, just sit him down and tell him how you feel. I want you two to do this, otherwise you become another poster on here asking about a "Broken Heart."

It goes something like this:

"Hey baby, I just wanted to talk to you about a few things. Would you like to have dinner with me...?"

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:09 AM

What KC is trying to say, or at least I think he is, that you shouldn't need a promise ring in order to know that someone is committed to you and the relationship. The fact that you two are together should be reason enough to just believe that what you two have is enough.

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:10 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Communication is how you get it back to how it used to be. People change all the time, as do relationships between those people. If you can't talk about how you are feeling and what is concerning you then it's not going to get any better.

How many problems have been solved by sweeping it under the rug?

What the hell? You seriously need to read my question. I never said oh and we have heaps of trouble communication nor that we sweep things under the rug.

kctiger · Jan 20, 2009, 08:10 AM

If you honestly need a ring to make him show his commitment, then I would tell your immature a$$ to hit the road!

Welcome to AMHD. Sorry to be harsh, but I am sick of trying to help you and at the same time butting my head against a brick wall. Good luck. Instead of arguing with us, why don't you talk to him about it?

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by secret_123

yeah i know all that. but i want to know some ways to get it back to how it was!

Right there! You asked how to get it back to how it was, and my reply was "communication" because if you don't talk about what is bothering you then the relationship is going to come to an end.

If you don't like the answers, don't ask the questions.

Like KC said, welcome to the AMHD, we don't sugarcoat anything!

secret_123 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by kctiger

If you honestly need a ring to make him show his committment, then I would tell your immature a$$ to hit the road!

Welcome to AMHD. Sorry to be harsh, but I am sick of trying to help you and at the same time butting my head against a brick wall. Good luck. Instead of arguing with us, why don't you talk to him about it?

I'm not arguing with you, I'm discussing it with you. And ahh read the question. I am saying that by saying no to something that CAN in some circumstances like mine represent a certain level of commitment and a promise could it mean that he is afraid/avoiding full on commitment.

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 08:15 AM

You never said that it "could it mean" you said "scares me into thinking" which means you are already thinking that, not that you may think that way.