[Chick from Iowa]

Here's the situation. Last year I went out with this guy for a few months. After a while we both sort of wanted to split. So we did. But out of the blue, I just can't stop thinking about him. Help?

[NorthernNiceGuy]

And out of the blue it will stop...

[Chick from Iowa]

Well, How do I know he's not thinking of me? He hasn't had a girl ever since I left him, He stares at me a lot lately, and when we broke up he actually cried.. I think right now I'm just confused.

[411Help]

Can you give more information, please.

What is the reason you two split?

A lack of interest on both sides?

If so, if you get back with him, what makes you think the lack of interest won't occur again?

There has to be more to it, please inform us.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

So what's the story with the contact you two have right now? You have to fill us in on that stuff, break up included.

[Chick from Iowa]

Can you give more information, please.

What is the reason you two split?

A lack of interest on both sides?

If so, if you get back with him, what makes you think the lack of interest wont occur again?

There has to be more to it, please inform us.

Well, it was actually perfect the first week or so. But after a while I honestly think my best friend started getting jealous of me because I had a boyfriend, she didn't. And my boyfriend and best friend would fight like NONSTOP. And we both just got to the point where we couldn't take her crap anymore blah blah blah. And yes, we BOTH deciding breaking up was a good choice. But lately, every time I see him I can't help but to think about him until he's out of my sight. It's driving me insane. I think that by now I would have moved on. Obviously not..

[scaredypants]

and out of the blue it will stop...

That's what I thought

But since you keep seeing him, I imagine you guys got to school or something.

If you really feel that you want him back, go get him. You two should both have the maturity to talk to oneanother regardless of the previous relationship you shared and ended. And if your friend torments you, what sort of friend is that?

You guys should have acted above the annoyance of your best friend. You have the ability to ask her to stop.

[Chick from Iowa]

thats what i thought

but since you keep seeing him, i imagine you guys got to school or something.

if you really feel that you want him back, go get him. you two should both have the maturity to talk to oneanother regardless of the previous relationship you shared and ended. And if your friend torments you, what sort of friend is that?

you guys should have acted above the annoyance of your best friend. you have the ability to ask her to stop.

Well yeah, That's what I thought too. Then noticing how difficult it was to even try to speak to him. I just can't find the right time or place. Let alone know what to say.

[411Help]

No, DON'T talk to him. If seeing him hurts you, you need to walk different ways. Perhaps, find a different route to your classes.

I think, you need to move on.

As, both of you are not mature enough to handle a relationship right now.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

How long have you been feeling this way about him? Is there anything in your life making you feel down or lonely... sometimes those feelings can make you miss what you used to have irrationally.

If you girlfriend wasn't involved do you think this relationship could have worked? Because if that was the only reason it seems silly that you two broke up.

[Chick from Iowa]

No, DON'T talk to him. If seeing him hurts you, you need to walk different ways. Perhaps, find a different route to your classes.

I think, you need to move on.

As, both of you are not mature enough to handle a relationship right now.

Confusing... Well, It's just hard because he was one of those 'first boyfriends' you know? It can be a bit rough to get over. But I still can't even have any conversations with other guys without my ex popping into my head.

[scaredypants]

Well yeah, That's what I thought too. Then noticing how difficult it was to even try to speak to him. I just can't find the right time or place. Let alone know what to say.

I don't believe you should run from relationships. I used to see my ex all over the place and it would hurt because I knew that that at one point we really liked each other. All that running got me was a lot of pain.

But with time I matured and we talked. We accepted that we could be friends and in our case that the relationship was certainly at an end.

In retrospect all the pain and energy from running was needless. I don't hurt when I see her and my ex has blossomed into a friend that I cherrish. Talking can clar up a lot of things at any age.

[Chick from Iowa]

How long have you been feeling this way about him? Is there anything in your life making you feel down or lonely... sometimes those feelings can make you miss what you used to have irrationally.

If you girlfriend wasn't involved do you think this relationship could have worked? Because if that was the only reason it seems silly that you two broke up.

Well, I have no clue if this would take any part in it or not but I really don't "get along" with my dad. And I'm talking about every day he comes home.. Fight, fight, fight.

I will admit that it is insane that it's my best friends fault. But she said nasty, mean things to him which made me feel lousy and made me feel like I chose a 'bad' boyfriend.

[Chick from Iowa]

I dont believe you should run from relationships. i used to see my ex all over the place and it would hurt because i knew that that at one point we really liked eachother. All that running got me was a lot of pain.

but with time i matured and we talked. we accepted that we could be friends and in our case that the relationship was certainly at an end.

in retrospect all the pain and energy from running was needless. I dont hurt when i see her and my ex has blossomed into a friend that i cherrish. talking can clar up alot of things at any age.

I would be more than happy to make conversation with him. But at school the most we get out of each other is just a quick 2 second glance and then we carry on with the rest of our day.

We still have each others numbers. He used to send me forwards that would always have something to do with love and that's like the exact moment I became curious.

As far as texting goes, I will send him stuff like Merry Christmas! (or whatever holiday... ) and will get back a basic 'thanks you too' back.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

It's just hard because he was one of those 'first boyfriends' ya know? It can be a bit rough to get over

Well as Jack Johnson says in "flake"... your first loves your hardest love. I don't think you'll ever forget that one... for the simple fact that you experience so many firsts with that person.

This "friend" doesn't seem like much of a friend. And from what you wrote it seems like she pitted you two against each other.

You have to think hard about whether you should act on these feelings and talk to him. If they are genuine and not a result of this thing with your dad or you just missing being in a relationship than go ahead if you think that's what best for you. Maybe getting some answers will help you see clearer on what you want.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

[scaredypants]

I would be more than happy to make conversation with him. But at school the most we get out of each other is just a quick 2 second glance and then we carry on with the rest of our day.

We still have each others numbers. He used to send me forwards that would always have something to do with love and that's like the exact moment I became curious.

As far as texting goes, I will send him stuff like Merry Christmas! (or whatever holiday...) and will get back a basic 'thanks you too' back.

The fact is that you are not actually happy to talk to him. Otherwise I imagine you would have by now. What I meant in my previous post is that you have to accept that and overcome it because there are good things that await (me and my ex are became good friends).

For me it was seeing my ex downtown and talking to my her one on one, and for you it will be the relatively the same thing.

Talking is scarey, talking to ex-lovers is even scarrier but the result is always better than mulling around in despair over question you know only your ex can answer.

[Chick from Iowa]

the fact is that you are not actually happy to talk to him. otherwise i imagine you would have by now. what i meant in my previous post is that you have to accept that and overcome it because there are good things that await (me and my ex are became good friends).

for me it was seeing my ex downtown and talking to my her one on one, and for you it will be the relatively the same thing.

talking is scarey, talking to ex-lovers is even scarrier but the the end result is always better than mulling around in despair over question you know only your ex can answer.

I'm just not 100% sure if he even wants me to be in his life at all. Should I just TOTALLY forget him? I haven't had any face to face conversations with him ever since the break up. It's kind of awkward for me..

[Chick from Iowa]

Well as Jack Johnson says in "flake"... your first loves your hardest love. I don't think you'll ever forget that one... for the simple fact that you experience so many firsts with that person.

This "friend" doesn't seem like much of a friend. And from what you wrote it seems like she pitted you two against each other.

You have to think hard about whether or not you should act on these feelings and talk to him. If they are genuine and not a result of this thing with your dad or you just missing being in a relationship than go ahead if you think that's what best for you. Maybe getting some answers will help you see clearer on what you want.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

I do realize that now. That she's not the best of friends when it comes to relationships. I'm actually still friends with her today. I just wish that back when me and him were going out... That I would have stood up for myself.

Nah, it's fine. I'm going to be 16 on the 27th.

[scaredypants]

I'm just not 100% sure if he even wants me to be in his life at all. Should I just TOTALLY forget him? I haven't had any face to face conversations with him ever since the break up. It's kind of awkward for me..

I had the mentality that my ex thoght I was lame and that I was not good enough for her. The main thing dancing through my mind was her and how I would only embarrass myself before her. But by fate we met and TALKED , together we realized that friendship was an option.

It's hard to talk but that's what most of life is, difficult. Over the hill of this social awkwardness between the two of you awaits all the answers you really want. I can't tell you if he wants you back, if he only wants to be friends let alone anything about him really. You would need to ask him.

Also don't forget him because, I don't think you would want him to forget you.

[NorthernNiceGuy]

I'm going to be 16 on the 27th.

Well let me say this, and this is was I really think. You're so young darlin, there are going to be so many other guys so don't think even for a second that this guy is the be all and end all. Being in high school with an ex sucks, seeing them in the halls, in class, its almost impossible to get away. So I feel for you because I remember those days.

I really think you should just leave this one alone. Young hearts are resilient and you will move on in no time. Besides, high school is way more fun single, trust me. So just have fun and enjoy your life!