[411Help]

Never date co-workers.

[aszmhodeus]

- Never put the person you love in front of your life. Do not make her / him the top priority in life, because once he / she is gone your world will collapse and you`ll have to rebuild.

- Don`t trust people too much, even if you know them for years.

- Love never lasts

[a la king]

We need to have a before and after thread. The first post someone has, compared to their latest, just to show how far you actually come by coming to this website. I swear, it is better on here than any kind of pill or other form of therapy you could get...

It is amazing how much I have grown on here, and others as well. Just incredible progression from start to finish.

It really is amazing. This site is like a perpetual shoulder where no one tells you to shut up.

[Arzy99]

Great thread guys!

Well, so far I have learnt;

- Never to make your partner your whole entire life - make sure you can live without them, have fulfillment without them... then you can SHARE your life with them

- Always remember actions speak louder than words... even though your partner may say they love you and want to be with you forever. Their actions may say something completely different and that is what you must look at.

- Take notice of the red flags

- Always be yourself in the relationship - be the nice guy and be respectful etc.. BUT don't do everything and give everything. It has to be 50/50.

- If your heart is broken... at the end of the relationship. Don't BEG. Don't CALL. Don't TEXT... Stick to NC, keep your dignity!

- If your partner has left you for another guy/girl or for the single life etc... try not to let it harm yourself esteem. Love yourself!. realise that you deserve better!. you deserve someone that will truly love you the same way you love them. And believe that some day, you will find that...

[talaniman]

Life goes on whether you like it or not.

Don't cry in your beer, taste terrible.

Never let them see you sweat!!

[a la king]

Never let them see you sweat!!!

Hindsight is always 20/20. Next time around, I SWEAR!

[plonak]

Someone asked me to post what red flags to look for in a relationship..

They are different for everyone but here were SOME of the red flags in my relationship

1. He had a spending problem/didn't save
2. Flirting with other girls behind my back
3. Not letting me see his phone
4. Noticed that he lied about stupid things (means he's comfortable lying about important things)
5. had really bad credit
6. When he was off his ADD meds he was REALLY irritable..

That's all I can think of for now

[ThatGuy2]

I think the post from ThatGuy2, should be put into a sticky. Anyone else agree?

Hey that would be pretty cool. If what I said could help just one couple save their relationship, it would have been all worth it. How do I initiate this process?

[starbuck8]

Hey that would be pretty cool. If what I said could help just one couple save their relationship, it would have been all worth it. How do I initiate this process?

You might want to ask Tal what he thinks. I think there are some very good points in there!

[--Charles--]

1. Caring is a two-way street.

2. I need to make sure when a woman says they love me I have to ask them if they fulfill these requirements:
"
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

If not then I say "please dont say u love me, or else i might get the wrong idea"

3. Be careful of how you try and describe your thoughts, you might come off very very wrong

4. If drama is starting to effect the relationship itself be sure to either completely annihlate the drama, or get away from it as quickly as possible or else the relationship will fail

5. People can change at the flip of a coin

6. Some women just aren't romantic, if you're a romantic type of guy then be wary of what romantic thing you do lest it may come off as annoying

[Starry nights]

1.That I have to live through anything and everything,the good and the bad, that comes with a relationship,if I really want to have one.Its either all the way or nothing at all.
2.That I need to be less insecure and impulsive,thinking my relationship/partner is there to take care of my life.I take care of me and my life,no one else.
3.That I don't need to take it upon myself and do all the work in a relationship.That its both-ways and needs equal nurturing by both.
4.That I can only love someone if I love and respect myself.
5.That modern love stories are like wonderful arrangements where both need to lay down the ground rules,terms and conditions BEFOREHAND to avoid misunderstandings.
6.That I don't need someone else to make me happy and if I feel I am not happy with someone,I should be able to speak my mind without feeling he would walk out on me.If he does,he wasn't THE ONE.
7.That there's no need to forget everything else and live for the other person or put them on a pedestal and worship them.
8.That ME comes first and anything,absolutely anything,that threatens me or is remotely insulting/demeaning to me needs to be dealt with in the most urgent manner.
9.That we should think before we speak and act and not let loose like loony-bins trying to hurl abuse at each other.
10.That,even in the best of times,we should remind ourselves we have the power in the deepest part of us,to let go and not be afraid of living life alone.

[rainlover]

1. That I am capable of loving someone.

2. That I deserve to be loved.

3. Don't sh@t where you eat.

4. I am a really good person, and I don't a partner to validate that.

5. Don't neglect your friends. You'll need them when or if it all goes to sh@t.

6. Trust your instincts. When you feel that apprehension in the pit of your stomach in the beginning of a relationship. LISTEN! This is your first red flag.

7. When your partner tells you that you are the perfect one for them, the one that they have been searching for, realize there is no perfect person. It's a matter of are you both willing to make it work when the high wears off.

8. The love drug is a powerful chemical. Enjoy the effects, but try to keep your head, eventually for both of you it will wear off. That is when the real work begins.

9. Give them space to do their own thing, if they can't handle that kind of freedom and go roaming, then they weren't worth it.

10. Have some respect for yourself and don't jump into another relationship right away. Take time to reflect, look at your part, work on the issues you identify in yourself that you can change, and vow to get it right next time.

11. Don't be flattered when a guy is needy. This is a sign that they lack emotionally maturity and don't trust themselves.

12. Realize that the break up is not the end of the world, life goes on. Be thankful that you dodged a bullet.

13. Take risks, be yourself.

14. Don't confuse physical intimacy with emotional intimacy. When you should be having a "talk" and he wants to have sex, that's a red flag. The sign of an emotionally immature person.

15. Criticism from your partner can kill a relationship. It's often a sign that they are "done", just haven't had the balls to tell you.

16. Be kind to yourself, you are all that matters.

17. Be proud of yourself that you have the courage to look in the mirror and put your lessons into action. Not everyone can or is willing to do that... Watch out for those people...

[gothroughit123]

1. Being dumped is 100x better than to dump someone - it hurts more but you can grow more. Take an advantage from being @ the bottom. Take enough time and think a lot while NC!

2. Never take the time alone as granted. Use it while looking ahead. It is not necessary to find a new hobby...

3. You were born alone, you ll die alone. Between take care after yourself and always have your chin up.

4. Find your values and stick to them. Re-evaluate from time to time.

5. Be patient. Never rush. Never make pressure on somebody.

6. Don't become a slave to anothers needs. Never loose your dignity.

7. Be generous. E.g. if someone wants to have space. Let go generously too. You ll find balance by doing that.

8. Never be afraid not to play any games.

9. Don't try to prove to someone who does not want you. It is like if you cannot sing but you go to a singing contest. Don't make a fool of yourself. Show off your talent to someone who is interested.

10. Enjoy every emotion. Pain is not less beautiful than love. Just learn to handle it. Life is beautiful.

11. It is not like you deserve someone better. The only thing you deserve is to be happy. No one else makes you happy but you.

12. Just do it - trust yourself.