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Arzy99 · Jan 12, 2009, 08:43 AM

That is great Rome... you improved yourself and are now reaping the benefits. You're an example to many on this site..

My situation is similar to yours... My ex would tell me all these affectionate, loving things ALL THE TIME and only days later.. once she was at university, she wanted to split up. I didn't really get any closure - she just said 'she felt uncomfortable in a relationship'. Then only weeks after dumping me she was with a guy that she had met only 2 weeks before breaking up with me.

But the reality is.. I will never know why she left me - could be because she met this other guy, or she wanted to be single etc.. whatever.. I will never know.

I don't think she will ever come back, even when I am 100% better. Proabably because.. this is what she really wanted.. (to be single or date other guys etc).. and she probably wasn't mature enough for a long term relationship which is what I wanted and she needs to find herself etc. Although, I could be wrong.. and she may come back when I am over her, which is what has happened in many cases.

Right now, I don't want her back at all.. because I realised she doesn't truly love me, and the things she used to say to me weren't really true. But, I do find myself thinking sometimes that it would be nice if she came back when I am completely over her... I know I need to get this thought out of my head, because it shouldn't matter AT ALL whether she comes back or not in the future.. it shouldn't matter because she's not the one for me and I deserve better..

I guess it just takes time though and I will stop having thoughts like that after a few more months of NC... just going to stick to it :)

DazT · Jan 12, 2009, 09:58 AM

Day 18.. before I broke it through MSN (I have now deleted her address), it was like 16 days.. if only I had kept it going..

Once I had around 4 or 5 months until she contacted me again.. when I get that far this time, nothings going to stop me :D

jmw0713 · Jan 12, 2009, 02:39 PM

2.5 weeks for me. We briefly talked on Christmas Day. I asked and found out something's about her plans and whatever. Needless to say that hurt. I am doing a lot better now. I don't anticipate hearing anything from her again for a long time.

Watch, now that I said something, she'll call...

Deicyde · Jan 12, 2009, 03:01 PM

It has been 17 days of NC now for me. Everyday is different some days better then others, up and down like a roller coaster. I also feel like KC that I am a much better person now then I ever was with my ex.

husky04 · Jan 12, 2009, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by jmw0713

Watch, now that I said something, she'll call....

It seems like that's what happens huh?

Every time you feel confident about yourself she ends up doing something like calling or contacting you.

partlytoblame · Jan 15, 2009, 06:22 AM

I am on day 1, just met the her last night over coffee, the idea was to trash it all out, and give it another go, but I was less than satisfied with the smirk on her face when I tried to tell how unhappy I was with the way she treated me. Then I got it out of her that she had 'kissed' yeah right! Her ex boy friend. I know she is a bit damaged emotionally and she is using me as a pawn to get her old fella back. This is horrible I have been sucked back in SO many times. But like in AA its back to square one, Day 1.

MiSSsy111222 · Jan 16, 2009, 04:29 AM

I'm on day 6, it would be 2 weeks but I broke it to ask him who to give his stuff to. Its not getting any easier. Its like an emotional rollercoaster and I can't get off.

kctiger · Jan 16, 2009, 05:20 AM

Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222

im on day 6, it would be 2 weeks but i broke it to ask him who to give his stuff to. its not getting any easier. its like an emotional rollercoaster and i can't get off.

It takes a long time before we can call it "easy." I had been doing NC forever, but had never been on a streak of more than 13 days. In the past five months, I never even went two whole weeks without contacting her... finally, I am on a near month now. So, it takes a long time to even stick to it... but once you do, it will get easier. You just have to think of yourself as a better person. Why should we be so stuck on people who don't care about us anymore? We are special too, so no more lusting over someone who doesn't care about us! They should be contacting us...

Just keep it up, it will get better, and easier.

partlytoblame · Jan 18, 2009, 09:33 AM

I have come to the conclusion that counting the days like a prison sentence, is not a healthy way to move on from a failed relationship. It indicates that one's life is nothing more than an obsession with one person, it is a better idea to discard the count and just start living again.having said that I'm on day 5, still torture : )

husky04 · Jan 18, 2009, 03:57 PM

Day 8, Im feeling a lot better then I was on day 1, and I'm getting better everyday.

I feel like counting the days you haven`t talked to the person you love/loved can only give you more self confidence.

DazT · Nov 22, 2009, 04:48 AM

Lets keep this going.. was on day 19, before I bumped into her..

What number are you on?

Something_Here · Nov 22, 2009, 05:40 AM

I'm on day 25 now, and doing a lot better than I was a few weeks ago, although I still miss her.

what2do27 · Nov 22, 2009, 03:54 PM

I was @ 114 until she contacted me in September.
Then I was @ 32 when I contacted her.
We had 7 Days of contact (and actually sleeping in the same bed)... then she went into the whole "I want to be alone" phase again.
I'm currently on day 4 now.

emopunk7 · Nov 22, 2009, 08:03 PM

I'm on day 60... Doing fantastic! Feeling great! Trying to better myself everyday!

dlowell08 · Nov 22, 2009, 11:59 PM

Day 23... can you truly heal if you still believe that she'll come back to you eventually? Is that what is holding me back? I do think eventually she will realize that she could have been better to me and that we were really good for each other, so I feel like declaring it over is only hurting me. Do I need to let that thought go?

Something_Here · Nov 23, 2009, 06:30 AM

@dlowell08:

I'm wondering the same thing, I think I'm still hoping that me and my ex will get back together. It's probably not a good thing to be nurturing that hope, I think it's just going to prolong the healing process.

Ash123 · Nov 23, 2009, 11:20 AM

DAY 23 is still EARLY.
LOG 90 days.
There will be a change then. It may be big or small. But healing takes TIME. Will they come back? It does not matter. Until you stop thinking about them you are gaining nothing from being apart. IF they are the right person - and this is NOT the case almost 100% of the time - then don't sweat it... it'll all make sense one day. The universe is funny that way.

Ash123 · Nov 23, 2009, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by what2do27

I was @ 114 until she contacted me in September.
Then I was @ 32 when I contacted her.
We had 7 Days of contact (and actually sleeping in the same bed)....then she went into the whole "I want to be alone" phase again.
I'm currently on day 4 now.

IT'S OVER.
So you are on day... whatever :-)

Enjoy your new life.