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turtleneck123 · Jan 6, 2009, 08:57 PM

Old girl used to blame us not having sex as much as we used to, multiple times a day, on us fighting all the time in a long distance relationship. Legit or just what I suspected, she is getting hers somewhere else?

ylaira · Jan 6, 2009, 08:59 PM

Say what?

turtleneck123 · Jan 6, 2009, 09:10 PM

Us fighting is was just her excuse to not have desire to have sex as much because she was doing it with someone else or the fighting really did affect her? I think both may be possible, but now that we done I think it was just an excuse

Synnen · Jan 6, 2009, 09:35 PM

Unlike men, women are NOT in the mood for sex (with ANYONE! ) if the emotional level isn't there. Our moods are EVERYTHING. If I'm tired, crabby, sick, stressed, overworked, underappreciated or just mad at my husband---then sex is NOT going to happen. My emotional level isn't there, so my mind (and body) don't even glance at the idea of sex.

If you're fighting all the time, then no--she's just not in the mood for sex.

I think that YOU would rather be getting it elsewhere if you're suspecting HER of it with no cause other than not being in the mood.

talaniman · Jan 6, 2009, 11:03 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...it-283783.html

Now how in the world did we get to this point. I thought you were broken up, and moving on?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 7, 2009, 05:47 AM

And to be honest sex several times the day is not the norm that happens all the time either

turtleneck123 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:27 AM

talaniman, we are broken up, not talking. Just curious because I felt this may have been one sign that she was cheating, as well as a number of others. Even though I am not absolutely sure she cheated, I heard enough to be done with her, just trying to see if there are things I should pick up on in the future with other girls. I know I will have serious trust issues, so a serious relationship will not be happening anytime soon.
After two relationships ending with the girl breaking up with me, blaming me for the breakup, then me hearing they cheated, but never admitted it, then they stop talking to me, do you think they do this to make themselves believe they didn't do anything wrong, and instead make me feel like I was in the wrong? Do you think girls who cheat and are not mature enough to admit it try and place the blame on the boyfriend, in attempts to alleviate the guilt they may have? For awhile, my first ex would not talk to me, but eventually, she came crying back, spilling her guts, and apologizing, but still never admitted to cheating. I hate the fact that I have to go off what a friend says about my current ex, but it all seems to fit in place, even though she continues to and has always denied doing anything

JoeCanada76 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:30 AM

Long distance relationships are always more stressful. Stop looking into the reasons for whatever happened and know that it is over now. Does not matter either way now. Does it? Why are you always accusing her of doing something wrong?

Synnen · Jan 7, 2009, 09:40 AM

If she won't admit it, and you have no evidence, and ONLY the word of a friend to make you believe it--well, no wonder she broke up with you.

I'd break up with you too, if you accused me of something I didn't do, and didn't trust me--believing the word of your friend over my story.

turtleneck123 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:42 AM

Because if I knew she didn't cheat, before I got most of this info. We said we would be on good terms, see each other again when possible, and who knows what from there. She thinks we will be together in the future which is why I think she may keep denying cheating, knowing ill never see her again. I think way too much about things and fact is that I will probably never see this girl again. But to hear a girlfriend you put so much on and had future hopes with did something like this, just makes you wonder what, when, why did things end up like this. Why didn't she just say I'm not sure if I can do the distance anymore, rather than cheating? I'm pretty sure this ended because the distance was going to be extended for another 3 years and she couldn't handle it. Before I broke the news, we never had an issue and were just excited to finally be in the same place. Why would a girl go and cheat and seem to become another person, rather than just say she may not be able to do it anymore?

JoeCanada76 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:44 AM

Do not take this the wrong way, but I do believe you need counseling. Nothing wrong with getting counseling.

Please do this and improve on yourself.

turtleneck123 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:45 AM

She didn't break up with me because of me accusing her of cheating. She said the fighting was too much, and had no time for anyone but herself (BS). I found the cheating info. Out later after we broke up, asked her about it numerous times, and she continues to deny. What would her friend get out of convincing me she cheated? We are no where near each other and won't be hanging out or anything

JoeCanada76 · Jan 7, 2009, 09:47 AM

Who cares either way. You guys were fighting too much. Long distance. Etc Etc Etc. It does not matter what the reason was or if she was or not. ITS OVER.

Your not dealing with this very well, but you need to understand you can not control what other people do, you can only control yourself.