[Starbucks21]

I especially understand the only meeting him twice... I met my husband twice before marrying him. We talked about 8 hours a day over the phone. I'm jewish too so there are similarities.

My best advice to you is... Tell him when you were a teenager you weren't that religious but when you got older you found the errors of your ways and found g-d. This is pretty much the short version of what I told my husband. Our marriage is great

[artlady]

I know this sounds deceiving because it is but if it saves your life it is worth it.
I say prick your finger somehow and put the blood on the sheet and get embarrassed and go to the bathroom and clean up the blood.
Come back feeling embarrassed and he will leave you alone.

I don't ever believe in games but until you can get help and get out this is an option.

Forgive me for encouraging deceit but your life is more important!

[perfectdolls]

I know this sounds deceiving because it is but if it saves your life it is worth it.
I say prick your finger somehow and put the blood on the sheet and get embarrassed and go to the bathroom and clean up the blood.
Come back feeling embarrassed and he will leave you alone.

I don't ever believe in games but until you can get help and get out this is an option.

Forgive me for encouraging deceit but your life is more important!!

Thank you for you idea :(

[perfectdolls]

I especially understand the only meeting him twice... I met my husband twice before marrying him. We talked about 8 hours a day over the phone. I'm jewish too so there are similarities.

My best advice to you is... Tell him when you were a teenager you weren't that religious but when you got older you found the errors of your ways and found g-d. This is pretty much the short version of what i told my husband. Our marriage is great

But I don't think he would understand he will probably be dissapointed...

[Dare81]

but I dont think he would understand he will probably be dissapointed...

Which country is your future husband from?

[compsavvyimnot]

Umm... I don't recall bleeding during my first time. Does this always happens? How do they know really? He's not a doctor. He's a virgin too. How would he know what to look for?

[zeeniee]

I agree with Compsavvyimnot, if he is a virgin and has not seen pussycat dolls in MTV or something- he will not have any idea what he is looking for and what to do... I think in such cases he will be more worried about if he did it right, did she feel right, and what was that- the hymen issue would never cross his mind- especiallly if this is his first time! He will be more busy with what exploded in his brain cells- so to speak :-)!

[blue_st4r]

Are you allowed to be mad at him if he's not a virgin?

[firmbeliever]

the problem is not just proving my going to be husband that "I'm a virgin" the problem is with God. Im going to feel like a liar for the rest of my life I know i shouldnt have done that but I was so young didnt think of the punishment. When I got older over the years when I became more religious I realized how bad I did.

Assalaam alaikum sister,

You have reached the first step - you regret your mistake.
Next step is to ask Allah(sw) for forgiveness.
Then you discontinue whatever wrong you were doing... Insha Allah you will have forgiveness of the Most Merciful.

About your husband-to-be- he does not necessarily have to know about it because for one, it will create more problems for you and him than solve your dilemma.

It is your secret,between you and Allah(sw), keep it that way.

Do not panic, calm down and pray Istikhara
Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer

If in case he questions your virginity, you can give an excuse of it being due to any of the physical activities done in school or sports.

Baarakallah feekum

Wa alaikum salaam

EDIT::
Thanks Starby for directing me here :)

[compsavvyimnot]

Starbuck... I think SHE would know if he was a Doctor or not.:rolleyes:
And I was actually asking the questions. Does Everyone bleed during their first time? Does any man unlesshe's popped mulitple of virgins really know what to look for?

[firmbeliever]

Starbuck...I think SHE would know if he was a Doctor or not.:rolleyes:
And I was actually asking the questions. Does Everyone bleed during their first time?? Does any man unlesshe's popped mulitple of virgins really know what to look for??

I don't think it is like bleeding as in bleeding from a cut (and you find it on the sheets and all),but there is a sort of discharge for some,not sure if that happens to all.

[compsavvyimnot]

I totally agree with Judy Kay... Please excuse my crudeness. I didn't mean it that way. I should have put more thought into my vocabulary. Sorry if it offended anybody, it was not my intentions.:)

[perfectdolls]

Assalaam alaikum sister,

You have reached the first step - you regret your mistake.
Next step is to ask Allah(sw) for forgiveness.
Then you discontinue whatever wrong you were doing...Insha Allah you will have forgiveness of the Most Merciful.

About your husband-to-be- he does not necessarily have to know about it because for one, it will create more problems for you and him than solve your dilemma.

It is your secret,between you and Allah(sw), keep it that way.

Do not panic, calm down and pray Istikhara
Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer

If in case he questions your virginity, you can give an excuse of it being due to any of the physical activities done in school or sports.

Baarakallah feekum

Wa alaikum salaam

EDIT::
Thanks Starby for directing me here :)

Assalaam alaikum

Thank you so much! I felt so much better after reading this I hope everything goes well...

[perfectdolls]

Which country is ure future husband from?

Pakistan

[perfectdolls]

Are you allowed to be mad at him if hes not a virgin?

Yes but how would I know...

[perfectdolls]

Assalaam alaikum sister,

You have reached the first step - you regret your mistake.
Next step is to ask Allah(sw) for forgiveness.
Then you discontinue whatever wrong you were doing...Insha Allah you will have forgiveness of the Most Merciful.

About your husband-to-be- he does not necessarily have to know about it because for one, it will create more problems for you and him than solve your dilemma.

It is your secret,between you and Allah(sw), keep it that way.

Do not panic, calm down and pray Istikhara
Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer

If in case he questions your virginity, you can give an excuse of it being due to any of the physical activities done in school or sports.

Baarakallah feekum

Wa alaikum salaam

EDIT::
Thanks Starby for directing me here :)

I will pray the Istikhara thank you so much for your advice

[teach34181]

If you tell me that another person has had sex with you the relationship is over and he will see you as a slut for possibly forever. Don't worry about him finding out. Let him think what he wants. He cannot tell from having sex with you whether you're a virgin. Most men have never slept with a virgin so we have no frame of reference. Besides, if he does have a frame of reference then he has committed the same 'injustice' to someone else right?

[Alty]

Just to clear up one question. No, not all women bleed their first time even if the hymen is intact. Blood does not mean virginity.

[Dare81]

In by the way what part of Pakistan is this.I am from karachi and I have never heard of such nonsense,when I was there almost 6 to 7 years ago dating was a pretty common thing.If this guy lives in pakistan he must know that most girls even in pakistan are not virgins.

[zeeniee]

I agree with Dare 81!