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DoulaLC · Dec 15, 2008, 10:46 AM

I'm sorry you are having to go through this... relationship issues are never fun.

You are right, you need to find an outlet... get out with friends and family more, get some daily exercise (outdoors if possible), spend time on a hobby or start one, rent some movies, walk during a break at work, the point is you may have to force yourself to do things, but it is important that you do so.

Again, you have made it clear to her how you feel and that you want the relationship to continue... there is not much more you can do. Respond when she texts or e-mail you... maybe let her know you are thinking about her every now and then, if you want... send her flowers with a nice note and let her know you are looking forward to hearing from her if you feel you need to do something more right now, but then try your best to not push it. The not knowing is difficult to be sure, but the ball really is in her court now.

krzekali89 · Dec 15, 2008, 11:11 AM

Inviting another girl into the same bed as you and your girlfriend isn't that big of a deal. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years I invite my girlfriends to sleeping the bed with us, of course I lay in the middle and cuddle with my baby all night, but still if I feel close enough to a girl then I would too. Esp if I was drinking!

Second she probably feels hurt because of what you did. She put all of her trust into you and this girl but you broke her heart. My boyfriend had these girls called 'myspace girls' (this was when we were still in h.s. and have only been dating for 6 months but still) and he would talk to these girls as if they were his g.f. I logged into his myspace and saw this and I bugged out. The thought that I had made love to this man, and shared my life with him just for him to turn around and treat other girls (who he never met) like me was appaulling. I didn't kiss him for a month. He made me sick. Eventually I spent the night at his house and he held me all night and told me how much he loved me and that he was so sorry and he logged into his myspace and showed me that e told all of those girls the truth and he made his myspace devoted to me. And although I wasn't planning on getting back with him, I did love him and I wanted him back more then anything so our relationship got better. Give her time to sort things out in her head. Give her time to forgive you. Make her want to forgive you. Tell the other girl that you are in love and that you are sorry for what happened that night.

If you want to fix this broken relationship that is the way to do it. Time is the best though... that is the only thing to heal the hurt you put on to her. Believe it or not it sounds like she loves you to still be communicating with you and to let you hold her.

I hope I helped and best of luck to you and your girlfriend. I wish the best.

krzekali89 · Dec 15, 2008, 11:15 AM

And just to clear it up before people start bugging on me... I only let my 2 really close girlfriends sleep in bed with me and my b.f. If I am drunk I'm a mess and would invite anyone... I'm a 2 beer queer so if your g.f. is like that then I understand. Just so everyone knows that.

krzekali89 · Dec 15, 2008, 11:41 AM

OK... well... did I say every night? Did I say every week? no. like once and a while when my g.f.s spend the night. I live 100 miles away from them so... yea. Like you know once a year.. maybe once every 8/9 months... haha sumetimes every 2 years. Not on a regualr basis. I've been friends with them since elementary school.

brokeherheart · Dec 15, 2008, 04:23 PM

So I text her at 12: something today and asked how she was and it is now 6:23 and I haven't gotten a response =\ guess that answers my question's thank you all for your help <33

xoxaprilwine · Dec 15, 2008, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Starbucks21

You may of cared for her but she seems to be a drama queen. Idc how drunk i am... i would not allow another woman to sleep in my bed with my bf.... When they were drunk.... and barely conscious of their actions....

She set you up... she just wants drama... if you don't like drama every week you might wanna quit while you're ahead... well sorta

I don't get how other women invite their girlfriend into their beds with hubby or boyfriend?? Ok she sleeps with me alone, spare room or even on the couch but NOT with my man... I guess with a few drinks anyone can make that mistake.

Oh and I have been so drunk as blacking out (not remembering what I did) but I don't invite promiscuous situations in my house rather get into fights... that is why I don't drink a lot or go to bars anymore... I am a mommy now and have different priorities but I just wanted to comment to the disagreement to your post.

N0help4u · Dec 15, 2008, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by krzekali89

ok...well...did i say every night? did i say every week? no. like once and a while when my g.f.s spend the night. i live 100 miles away from them so... yea. like you know once a year .. maybe once every 8/9 months...haha sumetimes every 2 years. not on a regualr basis. ive been friends with them since elementary school.

Regular basis or not or once in a blue moon it is not normal. Most people let guests sleep on the sofa or anywhere BUT their bed with them and their boyfriend.

xoxaprilwine · Dec 15, 2008, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Regular basis or not or once in a blue moon it is not normal. Most people let guests sleep on the sofa or anywhere BUT their bed with them and their bf.

What side do you think the OP was? Or was he in the middle? Because I agree, if they where just laying there talking then why wouldn't his girlfriend arrange it so boyfriend wasn't sleeping beside the girlfriend just her? Does that make sense or am I crazy?

xoxaprilwine · Dec 15, 2008, 08:44 PM

Haha... my point exactly :)

brokeherheart · Dec 16, 2008, 07:58 AM

Girlfriend was in the middle

N0help4u · Dec 16, 2008, 08:04 AM

... ouch. I would be your ex by the a.m.
You are lucky you can still call her 'your girlfriend'

DoulaLC · Dec 16, 2008, 08:10 AM

Again, see how it plays out with some time. You can't do anymore... if you end up having to cut your losses, hopefully you learned something from it, as painful as it may be.

Friends in bed and alcohol don't mix well.

SimpleguyJoe · Dec 16, 2008, 10:34 PM

Any update here? I would like to know how things played out. GL though I hope things work out for you.

brokeherheart · Dec 17, 2008, 03:37 AM

Nothing yet, to be honest I do not expect there to be a change =\ it's OK though, were young I gues you have that "shes the one" feeling more then once lol

brokeherheart · Dec 17, 2008, 11:25 AM

So we had a pretty long back and forth text message sesson today, and it's over, this thread can DIAF =D thank you all very much for your help it is greatlry appreciated.

xoxaprilwine · Dec 17, 2008, 11:32 AM

I am sorry but I really hope you move on and find happiness elsewhere.

brokeherheart · Dec 17, 2008, 12:03 PM

I have already started moving on and I am sure I will find happiness =D thank you for your kind words =)

brokeherheart · Dec 18, 2008, 12:20 PM

So yesterday I was in a horrible mood, and she kept harping and saying rude and I was already feeling like she was just rejecting me so I kind of unknowingly went into defensive stance and probably replied to her rude statements with just the right statements to help her move on. Ultimatley her last text message to me yesterday (probably ever) said "I'm done I don't want anything to do with you. You should have thought about me before some other girl." and my stupid reply was "like i said best of luck to you" I just can't stop thinking about all the good times we had and how much I really do love her, and I want her to be happy but I just can't even fathom seeing her with another guy. How do I move on? What's the anti depresant drug I can get from a doctor called? Anyone live in Maryland that wouldn't mind coming to punch me in the face? I don't want it to end at all, but especially not like this! If I text her out of the blue will she just think I'm like stalking her or what? I need to end this relationship on the best terms available or I won't be able to live with myself. Any suggestions? Should I wait a week? Anythign will help.

DoulaLC · Dec 18, 2008, 01:27 PM

You can just let it go and know that in time it won't be so difficult, but since you seem compelled to try to end it on a good note, maybe send her a message along the lines of:

Look, I know I messed up and while I won't use the alcohol as an excuse, you must realize that I would never do something like that under normal circumstances. I've apologized numerous times, I don't know what else I could possibly do to help you see how much I love you and wish this would have never happened. However, it is apparent that you hold me solely responsible, are not able to forgive me, and want to end our relationship so I have no choice but to let you go. You will always have a place in my heart... I wish you well.

Then leave it alone... if sometime later she changes her mind, maybe you will be at a place in your life to be receptive to that... or maybe you would have moved on and found great joy in a new relationship.

You know the adage of how people come in and out of our lives for various reasons.. help grow as a person, learn a valuable lesson, let us know what we truly value in a relationship... perhaps this is just one of those times.

brokeherheart · Dec 18, 2008, 01:40 PM

almost immediately after posting that message I sent her a 4 page text saying that I don't expect a response and what not and that I do still love her and ill always be here and want to remain at least civil for now and maybe grow to be friends again, she did not respond however and I am 51% OK with that because I do realize I hurt her and it is my fault, but at least I know that my last text to her was not " like i said, best of luck to you" that just irritated the heck out of me and the more I thought about the more heartless it sounded. So I have rectified the situation as much as I can and maybe when she is done with her "i want to party and be crazy" days I will still be a viable option in her eyes from all the good times we had and how the relationship was before that kiss. Thanks a lot DoulaLC, April and Nohelp4u especially as the three of you have helped me the most! Thanks to everyone that responded ! Now I have to find some posts on here to start helping folks out =D