Check out some similar questions!

courier128 · Nov 6, 2008, 06:47 AM

I'm with a guy right now and we are having a lot of the same problems my x and I have had. But. I'm missing my x at the same time and I'm wondering what I should do because I can't stand thinking about him anymore, anything makes me think about him and fighting with my new boyfriend makes me sick thinking that I should be with my x because the reason my x and I broke up is because we fought. What should I do. I just want to be happy and I'm just miserable:confused:

redwee74 · Nov 6, 2008, 06:53 AM

Hello, I am just thinking have you had the same problem with others as well. If so maybe you should stay single for awhile and work on yourself. If not then maybe you should break up with this guy and go back to your ex, if he will have you. Confusions sucks. The fact that you still think about your ex should tell you that you are not ready for the new boyfriend. I hope this helps. God Bless and Good Luck.

kctiger · Nov 6, 2008, 06:55 AM

Just be single for awhile. It is obvious you need to work on yourself and you still have an attachment to your ex. There is just NO way you can be happy in another relationship while you still have feelings for your ex. It isn't fair to you or the other person. Also, EVERY couple fights, so I can't imagine why just fighting would remind you of your ex, otherwise you will be reminded of him in every single relationship you have from now on.

courier128 · Nov 6, 2008, 07:02 AM

its not just fighting with him. Its everything I see something instantly I start thinking about him.. so on.. and our relationship was really drawn out he controlled me a lot and we were broken up for about 8 months and I met this new guy... and things were great for about 4 months but then we started fighting things started to feel the same as the last relationship and I mean I just don't know what to do because I did love my x and I do love my new boyfriend

Romefalls19 · Nov 6, 2008, 07:09 AM

You are not in love, you haven't even gotten over your first ex. Jumping from relationship to relationship is cheating yourself and your new boyfriend out on a lot. You can't give someone your heart if you haven't gotten it back yourself. Take some time and be alone, you don't need to be with someone to be happy. When you learn that, then you can be with someone else

courier128 · Nov 6, 2008, 07:52 AM

its not like I'm jumping from guy to guy.. it was long distance that fell apart. Then we were completely separated, not talking for 8 months and I do care about my new boyfriend he treats me good . Gives me everything I need. But my x says he changed... and I can't stand this anymore because I keep thinking I should be with my x because I keep having these thoughts about him... but I was completely done with him . I used to think about him and get sick to my stomach please help

courier128 · Nov 6, 2008, 08:12 AM

Someone say something.. please..

kctiger · Nov 6, 2008, 08:14 AM

The only thing that makes sense to me is you make a choice. I think you have to chose your ex. There is just no way you can have a relationship with this new guy if your ex is on your mind that much. It will not work. Call your ex and find out... there is nothing wrong with that, but you better be prepared to face the wrath of both of these guys (your ex if he doesn't feel the same way, and your new boyfriend when he gets hurt by you dumping him).

Romefalls19 · Nov 6, 2008, 08:15 AM

We have said something, its just not what you want to hear

courier128 · Nov 6, 2008, 08:29 AM

OK well these are real feelings I'm a young responsible adult. I'm not immature and I just don't know what to do I thought I knew what I wanted. I wouldn't be here while at work asking questions if I knew what to do. And your answer didn't help.

Romefalls19 · Nov 6, 2008, 08:38 AM

You are in no shape to be in a relationship, why start a new relationship if you aren't over your last one? You can't be committed 100% to someone then don't be with them. It's that simple

Saufry · Nov 6, 2008, 09:00 AM

Break up for awhile. Take a rest. Make yourself busy:)

jmw0713 · Nov 6, 2008, 09:03 AM

You are projecting the feelings you have about your last relationship on your new relationship. You should definitely take time for yourself and learn who YOU ARE and what YOU WANT by being single for a while and doing things on your own. That is the only way you will be able to clearly evaluate the things that are or went wrong in your relationships in the past. Only then, like Rome and KC are saying, will you be fully ready to start a new relationship with someone and be happy being with them.

Constantly comparing old relationships with new ones is not a good thing and will lead to the same problems you are having now. You need to take sometime for yourself, let go of the past, and learn to be happy with YOU.

You need to learn that you can do things on your own for yourself before you can SHARE your life with someone new. Otherwise you or your new boyfriend will feel cheated and unhappy.

You also need to explain how you are feeling to your current boyfriend, so that you both can try and work to find a solution. Don't go forward in this relationship feeling unhappy. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to go forward with out being happy. Try to talk to him and work stuff out and decide if this is where YOU WANT to be. If not you need to tell him and not string him along with false hope.

It's ALWAYS better to be upfront and honest with someone you care about than to try and let them down easy and tell them things that you know can never be...

Talk first. Then make your decision and do what is best for you.

kollross2007 · Nov 6, 2008, 09:49 AM

Not sure if this will help or not... but here it goes... I am a middle age (42) male... long time ago I broke up with a girl after seeing her for 5 yrs. About 4 yrs later we hooked up for only a short time. Both times the break up was extremely hard for me. Like you we were always disagreeing.. partly cause of my imatureity, and also her not wanting to devote herself to me,, still wanting to party etc.
My father then told me something simple... a "ex" is a "ex" for a reason, and no length of time changes that reason.
Last thing I would do is go back to something that failed... if you and your new man are having problems... you have 2 questions to ask... 1 is it something that I want to work out. Or 2 should I cut my lose and move on (but not back to your ex)
Don't make it too complicated. YOUR GUT FEELING IS ALWAYS YOUR BEST

Good luck

talaniman · Nov 6, 2008, 10:44 AM

I will have to agree, even though you don't, with what the others are telling you, and that you are in a relationship before you got over the old one.

As much as you think the new guy is what you want, you have not healed, and dealt with the old hurts, and are carrying that baggage into this new relationship.

Your just repeating old mistakes, and this relationship will end as the other one did, unless you face your own issues, and deal with them.

A good time to be honest with yourself, and heal.

but my x says he changed...

If your still in contact with the ex, I strongly suggest you stop!

I keep thinking I should be with my x because I keep having these thoughts about him...

Your not over him, and until you are this new relationship is in jeopardy