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gbsenter · Nov 3, 2008, 10:44 AM

We do have a current custoday agreement. It states that we split Christmas visit. Mom gets Christmas on odd years and New Years on even and vis versa for Dad. Daughter just turned 15 yrs old and does not want to go to Dad's for Christmas anymore, but just go for New years visits. Does the 15 year old hold any rights or say so in the visitation? We live in Ga and Dad lives in Michigan.

excon · Nov 3, 2008, 10:51 AM

Hello g:

No, we're not talking about RIGHTS here. You and him hold all the RIGHTS. However, a 15 year old does have a preference, and I'd try to accommodate her. Why not? She knows what she wants.

excon

gbsenter · Nov 3, 2008, 11:00 AM

This is gbsenter... See daughter sent Dad and email stating she wanted to stay home for Christmas and visit him for new years instead. He quickly emailed me and began reciting the visitation agreement. Daughter is adamant that she does not like going ot his house for Christmas. There at his house it is him and girlfriend. At our house, she is oldest of 4 children. I'm am afraid he will take me to court and wanted to know if my 15 yr old daughter would have any say so.

ScottGem · Nov 3, 2008, 11:03 AM

You can't force a child to visit and dad is being very stupid to try as it will alienate the daughter.

If it was you trying to prevent visitation, then he can go to court and get you cited for contempt of court for ignoring the court order. But since its his daughter, what will probably happen is the judge will talk to the daughter and find out why and that she offered a compromise and will not force her.

stinawords · Nov 3, 2008, 11:55 AM

What scott said is correct. The judge won't really force her but she is still under 18 so you can be held in contempt if you interfere with the visitation. How long has that visitation schedule been in place? If it has been long enough then you may be able to petition the court for a modified schedule and she will be able to testify about what she wants. While the judge won't remove all visitation I don't really see a problem with it being modified to christmas at your house and new years with him provided that it has been a little while since the order was made.

gbsenter · Nov 3, 2008, 12:25 PM

Our current custody agreement has been in effect for 12 years. I have made her visit each and very time. Now that she is 15 hse has been doing some looking around on the internet and talking to friends about when she has a say. Also, her Dad has not called her since her summer visit in July and did not call her on her birthday. I know hse is upset with him; however I know that from all the previous visits, it is a struggle to get her to go. In her words, she just wants to be withher family for Christmas because she is 1 od 4 children here at home. Dad is very stubborn though and I am trying ot get the two of them to talk it out. But Dad says she's just a kid and daughter says she's growing up. Daughter is not saying she won't go at all, but just wants to spend Christmas at home from now on and New Years with him. Dad emailed me and quated custody agreement. I told him to call and talk to daughter and listen to what she is saying. What should I do?

bobloblaw · Nov 3, 2008, 12:41 PM

In GA, you only need 1 yr of time to pass before a custody modification can be made.

With your daughter being 15, any judge will more than likely hold her wants / desires higher than either you or your husbands. Call this lawyer in GA - Ann Dettmering (770) 425-5573, she may be able to offer you some advice on how to proceed.

The one thing you didn't tell us - was the agreement made in GA or Michigan?

ScottGem · Nov 3, 2008, 12:48 PM

What you need to do is document that you have tried to get your daughter to abide by the visitation schedule, but that it was her decision to offer a compromise.

Other then trying to get the two to talk it out, there is little else you can do. You can't force a 15 yr old into this, neither of you can. If it goes back to court, the judge will, in all likelihood, listen to her.

gbsenter · Nov 3, 2008, 12:51 PM

The current order is registered in Florida. My husband is in the US Navy so we have just left initial custody order in Florida since we occasionally move. My daughter's father lives in Michigan. I really appreciate all of replies. I was really worried about this situation, but on the other hand, my daughter is a very responsible 15 year old, helps out at home, make A-B honor roll in high school with all Honors classes, and also is in our church's youth teen group. I'm not going to say she is without the occasional attitude, but she's a good kid with a good head on her shoulders. I am tired of forcing these visits the way they are. She just wants to have a say in the matter. But at 15, I wasn't sure if she would have any say in the eyes of the law. According to Dad, he can have me strung up a pole somewhere for not forcing her to visit on his terms. Like I stated before, she's not saying she doesn't want to go at all, just not at Christmas and go for New Years instead. How come all of you can see it, but Dad cannot?

ScottGem · Nov 3, 2008, 12:53 PM

Because Dada assumes you are behind it as a way to get back at him.

There is no law that specifially allows your daughter to modify the visitation schedule. But from a practical matter, its more than likely that a judge will side with her. And as long as you can show it wasn't your doing, your ex can't do a thing to you.