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amaraya · Oct 30, 2008, 12:11 PM

Is it better to just put my pride aside, tell my feelings and accept what ever happens or should I be patient and wait to say anything about how I feel about someone until the time is "right" or he says something. I am trying to be a more patient person and not to react or be impulsive, but does that mean that I should not vocalize my feelings right away? Or would it be better to just say how I feel so that its out there and let the other person deal with it however they decide? I tend to think that if I just say it, I am a little to forward and brash. But is it also more honest? :confused:

starbuck8 · Oct 30, 2008, 01:58 PM

You are leaving out important info in order to give meaningful advice here. I'm assuming this is your boyfriend? How old are you? How long have you been dating?. or are you even at the dating stage? How long have you known each other? Is this boy older than you?. younger? It really helps us to help you, if the question isn't so general.

Troubled_Girl · Oct 30, 2008, 02:14 PM

Yeah we definitely need more info!

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 30, 2008, 05:13 PM

Yes please give us something to work with. Were not in your life so it's already kind of like putting a puzzle together leaving out pieces does not help us get the picture put together.

Fr_Chuck · Oct 30, 2008, 05:16 PM

Being honest about your feelings is normally the best. ** with some limits in some areas, work and with married friends

But if you are not doing something for your pride that is almost always the wrong thing, pride destroys a lot of relationships.

amaraya · Oct 30, 2008, 07:50 PM

OK, sorry about the lack of info! I still have feelings for my ex. We are not together 6 months. Things started great I got stressed with life and took it out on him, he got feed up and eventually ended in and started a new relationship right away. He was pretty cold to me when we broke up, he said because he was embaressed about how he behaved, and I do believe that this is why he was so distant, he tends to be pretty repressed and unemotional about stuff. But the truth is that I can see where I just made him feel bad and taken advantage of for too long. I have begun to talk to him a bit lately, but truthfully id like to work to slowly get back together to make things better, because we had so much in common and so much fun together. In a way id like to just put it out there now, so if he isn't into it I'm not wasting time or getting my hopes up, but at the same time, like I said he is pretty repressed, unemotional compared to me and I think maybe its best to work slowly up to that. But he isn't that responsive, he is still pretty distant although we are talking now, and I'm not sure if he still feels embarressed for what he's done or if he prefers to keep his distant. Part of me tells me to just tell him my feelings, I've made mistakes in how I've treated him and set my priorities in the past and id like to try again- to just put my pride aside and let my true feelings be known. In a way this is easier because worst case is he says he isn't into it and I have to move on anyway. But, at the same time, I don't want to scare him away, I don't want to seem desperate, and I don't want to seem controlling, so maybe I should just let things come undone on their own. I'm just worried that if I do nothing, hell just eventually close me out. Ug. This is a hard call. To make matters even harder! I have a 8 year old who adored him, he adored and I think he is/has tried to block us out so he doesn't have to feel hurt or feel bad. But the two of us really miss him and all we did together. My pride is not important to me so I can tell him easily how I feel, I just don't want to rush things if the time isn't right but I also don't want to miss a chance to make things better. Sorry this is sooo long but now you got enough info, no?! Thanks sooo much!!

SimpleguyJoe · Oct 31, 2008, 12:53 AM

Well if your OK with getting shot down and don't care to save any face with this guy giving it a shot sounds like something that is within reach.

Just know how to deal with the problems you were having already so they don't become an issue again.

But lets wait and see what some of the more experienced people on the site have to say.