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insomniaticmeat · Oct 15, 2008, 01:32 PM

OK, long story short, I'm 17 I'm a student I've had a very bad couple of years starting at 11 until now, I'm living with my aunt due to reasons I don't want to explain.. I have all he responsibilities of an adult and none of the freeomd, I'm broke, I have no job I hat eliving here but its my only option, I hate getting up every morning I don't enjoy anything in ife anymore.. and genuinely don't want to live I'm extremely un motivated and some days juts don't want to get up and I go to bed every night hoping I don't wake up... I think I need help but am genuinely to lazy to go find it.. its ahorrible cycle and its taking its toll on all my relationships, my schoolwork and my health.. what should I do?

HelpSkippy · Oct 15, 2008, 01:43 PM

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. It sounds as they you are in a vicious circle as you describe.

I don't think there is an answer to you question 'what should I do?'. Maybe try to take one step at a time. You won't wake up one day and your problems are gone... however, you can begin by thinking about what interests you as a potential career? What are your hobbies? Maybe you are artistically minded or athletic? Whatever your quality research it and become interested in it. I think this could help you. I sometimes find that when I feel like you do once I become interested in something it takes my mind off other things and generally gives me a reason to live.

Once you can find employment the money you earn will give you freedom so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

templelane · Oct 15, 2008, 01:46 PM

Your almost free! It won't be long until you an move out and live your life how you want to, with the freedom of an adult.

Seriously, it makes a big difference.

Hang in there.

mishelly3 · Oct 15, 2008, 03:16 PM

I agree with the above post some times it just seems so long away but its just right around the corner, focus on what you want to do with your life, go to school, work, enlist etc. start talking to your school counsler I but you might find something to get excited about. Just take one day at a time not worry so much, this is your life go take charge of it, you us grown ups are a pain in the at times it doesn't mean we don't love the kids we have..

Take care of you

skittles001 · Oct 15, 2008, 05:00 PM

I am in no way trying to be rude, but if you are too lazy to find help, can it really be that bad. And if it is I think you need to rethink your Priorities. If u don't want to wake up in the morning, or anything of the sort, you need to get some help. Be responsible and do what you know you have to. I wish you the best of luck and lots of love, I hope you seek real help, and Ill pray you feel better. :)

polska · Oct 15, 2008, 07:42 PM

I have been where you are right now! I think you said that you were 17. I'm 37 and I was just there about 6 months ago. I think a lot of people get to that place at some point in their lives. I know exactly what you are going through and thinking right now. The truth is, it's all a story in your own mind. Make some new friends, bring something totally different into your life. Don't wait for your ship to come in. You are on that ship right now and you need to ride out the storm. Calm seas are ahead and you need to be ready for them. If you have a little patience with yourself you will soon see that life is actually a beautiful thing. I got help from a therapist. I have a whole new outlook and am heading in a totally different direction with my life. If I can change at 37, you can also change at 17. Just tell yourself that you will be fine.
It's OK to feel the way you do. Tomorrow the sun will rise!

insomniaticmeat · Oct 18, 2008, 01:04 PM

OK I think I need to elaborate screw it this thing is confidential.. OK I've been smoking marijuana for about 6 years.. my parents are split up never knew my dad.. I never connected with my mother ever, its not her fault she had me young.. I live with my aunta and my uncle because my family decided to have an intervention for me.. it worked for a while but I can't take being told what to do, so much things have happened to me, I've had two friends kill themselves as well as no love form either of my parents.. I've had numerous chances to step up and change things but every chance I've had I've blown and its happening again.. and for the last two years I'm in a state of constant apathy I don't smoke weed anymore.. but am still extremely apathetic.. I juts don't feel any reasons to do anything.. I hope this elaborates how I feel a bit more..

ttyl-miracle · Oct 18, 2008, 01:08 PM

here's a bright idea, tell your aunt. that's a good way. then think about the obvious, kay? like, that you are living today, and soon you will be in college with new friends.
just hang in there, like templane said.
you will get thru it

insomniaticmeat · Oct 18, 2008, 01:11 PM

OK m in college and I have new friends but because of my past I'm not trusted to go out and socialise.. I'm becoming like the weird over protected guy and its killing me.. I've told my aunt but she knows me to well and in a way its right I juts don't know what I want to do do I want to be a sensible person or juts sit at home and smoke weed everyday.. I am juts so confused...

polska · Oct 18, 2008, 01:21 PM

Yes it does.

I strongly recommend therapy. Group therapy is a place to start. AA, NA, and Alanon are all really great groups to try. They don't cost anything and you can meet people like yourself that are going through the same or similar situations in their lives. If you have insurance, you can also try to see a therapist. I actually preferred both. When you see a therapist, you have to tell them everything and sometimes that's difficult if you have never done that before. At an Alanon meeting, you can go and just listen to the other people talk until you get more comfortable and than you might want to share. Believe me... You are not alone. There are millions of people going through all sorts of bad times in their lives. There is help out there, but you have to go get it. GO GET HELP!
Don't try to take this on alone!
It won't be easy, but you can find your way through this difficult time.

Peace!

ttyl-miracle · Oct 18, 2008, 01:22 PM

Drug abuse resistance education.
Aah, I remember those days.
Just... if you mean by "tragedy in the past" is that your mom/dad or both, died, then that's a problem. But, you should tell them. Or tell a priest at a church. I would tell a priest, but... hopefully they won't just say, "WELL THEN U R NOT WORTHY" because that happened to my friend. Hang in there, or tell your friends, and tell your friends' mothers. Hope this works...
And hang in there

insomniaticmeat · Oct 18, 2008, 01:33 PM

Went out last night got smashed took coke got laid.. my aunt is snapping but I think its worth it.. man there is a reason to live and that's to party:) as for the counselling I seriously need it.. and ikm going to look into it.. thanks everybody:)

templelane · Oct 19, 2008, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by insomniaticmeat

went out last night got smashed took coke got laid.. my aunt is snapping but i think its worth it .. man there is a reason to live and thats to party:) as for the counselling i seriously need it.. and ikm gunna look into it.. thanks everybody:)

Argh! That's not freedom, that's just a different kind of prison. I know so many people who have done that and well, I'm sure you know that it just doesn't end pretty. And it does end, eventually one way or another.

It's a temporary relief at best and it causes more problems than it's worth. I bet you knew what the repsonse to that post was going to be, and I bet you heard it before.

If you want help you can get it, sometimes it's not easy to find but it is there.

I just hope you don't wait too long.