[Mom of 2]

The reason that she went to Turkey and not the Ukraine is because her FAMILY is going to Turkey. Why would she go to Ukraine to visit her family when they would be in Turkey. I think you are reading too much into why she is choosing Turkey over Ukraine. Maybe she can't afford to go back to Ukraine and that her family is paying her way to go to Turkey. You never know what the background situation is. It's a vacation with her family, not a step in her decision of who she will decide that she is going to be with. It is what it is.

[tabbarat]

U have a good point... maybe it is more of a family thing than a choice of who she wants to be with

But as a note, SHE is paying for the family trip to turkey... so the financial point is not valid

But what is a fact is that she hasn't seen her ex in 9mnths, he wants to see her, and she is still going there... maybe smthg there, maybe not... u have a point

But while he is fighting with her, I'm telling her to have fun, enjoy her time, she needs a break after all the stress at work ;)

Anyway, will take her to the airport, then go NC... wait to see how she reacts

[talaniman]

Still basing your actions on assumptions, innuendos, and false hope, I see.

[tabbarat]

If u say so...

Take care

[friend4u178]

Could he possibly be going to Turkey as well??

[tabbarat]

Even a better question... she told me he is not.. hmmm

Since I'm on this website, I may as well update you guys: I dropped her to the airport... it was nice.. had a nice drive... she asked me if I was going to miss her, I told her "maybe" ;)... but then when she went down from the car, I told her I was going to miss her.. we kissed.. then she went to check in

2 hours later SHE calls me... we have a 5 minute conversation... made sure she checked in OK...

One hour ago, SHE sends me a message with a good night kiss

She is making it hard for me to go NC while she is away, but still going to do it... or at least not message/call her as much as she does

[Ash123]

Well, as I said before I think you all could hook up.
I don't see why it would not happen sometime after her return.

Just remember, you may find you all repeat the past. A lot of relationships go round and round. And she has a lot to work out before I'd say take it seriously. She, as I said, "wears the pants" here and you clearly are going to wait around. So, see what happens. And as I also said, I'd walk away for several months if you wanted her to focus on this is as a real couple. But if you can handle it casual... you may get round 2. Hope your head can handle it :-)

[tabbarat]

Completely true... as long as the ex is still in the pic, and she hasn't fully moved on yet, it won't be a full fledged "serious relationship"

Your right... we might hook up, we might even get round 2 (a couple again), and so far things seem to be going in that direction

But right now, I'm taking it easy, like it casual, and just glad me and her are talking and seeing each other again... enjoying the ride before any major decisions need to made or discussed

Time will tell what happens...

Thanks bro, take care

Update: after the nice ride to the airport and the call and message she made to me from check in; SHE called me again the next morning from turkey when she arrived, to let me know she got there safe

So I called her at night to see how her day went.. had a nice 5 min conversation

But then for 5 straight days we didn't have contact! I called once, andcdidnt get an answer or a call back?

I asked her friends if they had heard from her, they said no as well.. which made me feel a bit better (worried also)

So there was obviously 2 reasons: 1) having too much fun and wants to be alone 2) her dubai line doesn't work in turkey (need to have a lot of credits to call and receive international calls)

So she arrived last night, 2am dubai time.. she called me at around 3am... which is good, because that means I was still on her mind/missed me for her to call me that late and as soon as she arrives

She told me she wasn't able to call because of her credits... I believed her from her tone/gave her the benefit of the doubt

But I was out and a bit busy, so we didn't stay long on the phone.. I told her I'm glad she is back, I missed her, and I'll call her when I get home... but when I got home I didn't call... I just sent a message saying "goodnight, call u tmrw"

So I call her today at like 9pm, and get no answer and no call back?

So either she is playing games/hard to get... or maybe sleeping.. I don't know...

Anyway, not much to say.. the plan is still the same I guess... I still have to talk to her properly, see how her trip was, see how she still feels, see how her ex boyfriend situation is ,etc... and I'll take it from there

Just thought I'd update whoever is still interested... plus I was bored.. havent written here in a while :)

Take care

[Mom of 2]

She is not the only one who is playing games. Both of you are playing games.

[Matteus]

update: after the nice ride to the airport and the call and message she made to me from check in; SHE called me again the next morning from turkey when she arrived, to let me know she got there safe

so i called her at night to see how her day went..had a nice 5 min convo

but then for 5 straight days we didnt have contact! i called once, andcdidnt get an answer or a call back?!

i asked her friends if they had heard from her, they said no as well..which made me feel a bit better (worried also)

so there was obviously 2 reasons: 1) having too much fun and wants to be alone 2) her dubai line doesnt work in turkey (need to have a lot of credits to call and receive international calls)

so she arrived last night, 2am dubai time..she called me at around 3am...which is good, bc that means i was still on her mind/missed me for her to call me that late and as soon as she arrives

she told me she wasnt able to call bc of her credits...i believed her from her tone/gave her the benefit of the doubt

but i was out and a bit busy, so we didnt stay long on the phone..i told her im glad she is back, i missed her, and i;ll call her when i get home...but when i got home i didnt call...i just sent a message saying "goodnight, call u tmrw"

so i call her today at like 9pm, and get no answer and no call back?!

so either she is playing games/hard to get...or maybe sleeping..i dont know...

anyway, not much to say..the plan is still the same i guess...i still have to talk to her properly, see how her trip was, see how she still feels, see how her ex bf situation is ,etc...and i'll take it from there

just thought i'd update whoever is still interested...plus i was bored..havent written here in a while :)

take care

Why don't you two just sit back for a minute, relax, and have a serious talk about everything happened, is happening, and will happen? There are a lot of "whats" from your part, and I guess from her too. All these questions will just pump into your head, and will make the things harder and unclear for both of you. Just make the right questions, and not in the form of investigation (trying to find the hidden message in her answers). Have your answers, clear your mind, and enjoy what you have. Let the universe do the rest.

[tabbarat]

Hi matteus.. been a while :)

U are completely right... I want to do that... and we actually already did have a nice long serious conversation when we were on the phone for an hour and a half, and then it ended by her telling me "i feel like kissing you"

But you are correct... I am starting to get bored/sick of the questions... what I am sure of, is that she really likes both of us.. me and her ex... but what to do about it is what she is unsure of... I think she has days when she says "i should move on", and days when she says "what am i doing..this is my ex of 10yrs"...

Anyway, we have talked about this before and what I'm doing/going to do...

The next step is to see how her trip was, how she feels after the trip, etc... she is coming with me to a concert on Friday night... I reserved a table with her and our friends to Paul Van Dyk :)... that would be a good chance to have a nice talk like we did about 3 weeks ago

Take care guys

[talaniman]

We actually already did have a nice long serious conversation

And what was resolved with this serious conversation?

[tabbarat]

Your right, talaniman.. nothing was resolved... we only established that she loves both of us

But ASH is right, if my "head can handle it", then to stick it out and see what happens...

Funny thing last night.. I was getting some action with this girl I met in a night club ;), and during I get a message from my ex with a goodnight kiss

Talk about a buzz kill! She doesn't call back when I call her, but messages a goodnight kiss the next day

Anyway, not going to think about it too much.. hopefully going to see her tmrw night at the rave

[Romefalls19]

Man you are a glutin for punishment dude. She is stringing both of you along, I actually give points to this girl for being able to keep not one, but two guys on the hook for so long. I don't understand how you are getting by on so little from someone. All it took was a simple text message and you are in a buzz kill, man when my ex and I broke up and I was with a girl, my phone was the most distant thought in my mind. I was at a party talking to a few girls and my phone kept ringing and I refused to answer it just in case it was my ex, who at that point I would have taken back but I needed to make strides forward not backwards.

[hjpan]

Man you are a glutin for punishment dude. She is stringing both of you along, I actually give points to this girl for being able to keep not one, but two guys on the hook for so long. I don't understand how you are getting by on so little from someone. All it took was a simple text message and you are in a buzz kill, man when my ex and I broke up and I was with a girl, my phone was the most distant thought in my mind. I was at a party talking to a few girls and my phone kept ringing and I refused to answer it just in case it was my ex, who at that point I would have taken back but I needed to make strides forward not backwards.

Seriously.

Tabbaret refuses to accept the fact that this girl is a hoe... love 2 guys at once?
Sounds more of "rebound" guys...

[talaniman]

Ever wonder how females can tell if your with someone? They pay attention, and know your routine better than you do. Guys don't pay attention, and as a consequense, misunderstand, misread, and are confused.

Dude a female can give you a look that has you thinking you have a chance, when there is none at all.

Example,
A female who seems so confused about her feelings (yeah, right), but not confused about being with you, or giving you what you want.

When a female tells you she loves you both, and you chase. She knows she no longer has to give you anything to have you. She has you figured out already. Blow in your ear you will follow her anywhere.

Me, she makes up her mind without my influence at all.

Wonder what she would do with only a long distance b/f chasing her??

Your way to available to someone that sees you as an ex, who is a friend now, but wants her back.

[Mom of 2]

What kind of "serious" conversation can you have with someone at a concert with your friends around? You need to think more realistically about that.

Usually when someone has a serious conversation, at least some things are resolved. I don't think that either one of you wants to talk seriously about your situations and that both of you are avoiding any REAL serious conversations because they have a tendency to be rather uncomfortable. You may be talking about "things", but you are really skirting all of the issues that you should be talking about.

What in the heck do you want out of this? Do you want to continue to be strung along? Is she really able to give you want you need? What DO you need in a relationship? If there was one "perfect" girl out there (we all know no one is perfect, but this is just for sake of argument), what would you WANT her to be like? Do you think that this girl is capable of giving most, some or nothing of what you need? I feel that maybe you are more in love with the chase/challenge and trying to get what you may not be able to have. Ever think of that? Maybe you are putting this girl on such a high pedestal that she appears to be the ultimate catch, but is she really? You just say that you like her/love her, that you want her but you don't say why other than that you do. What qualities does this girl possess that you can't be without? I THINK I am falling in love with my boyfriend of 10 months AND I can clearly identify the qualities that I am falling in love with. Do you have that ability?

i havent talked to her in almost a week..let her miss me and realize what she is missing...she has a good thing with her here, dont know why she had to rekindle the past...giving her about 10 days-2 weeks to miss me...if she doesnt realize she made a mistake, i think im gonna have to forget about her

my questions are: 1) is my decision good? 2) or do i just call her and fight for her...and tell her she is making a mistake, etc...basically, what will make me get her back...fighting for her, or making her miss me?

This is from your original post. Maybe you have forgotten about it. In the first paragraph you appear to be almost possessive, as though she only belongs to you because you want her to miss you and to "realize she made a mistake" about reconnecting with her ex. You were only with her for 4 months and she was with her ex for 10 years. If she was MEANT to be with you, then why did she call him? That is something that you cannot answer because you are not her and only she can answer it. However, it certainly makes you wonder. Maybe it was just a habit. If it is a habit, be prepared that she will habitually keep going back to him. Are you prepared for that?

The second paragraph appears to offer 2 options for this relationship, but there is really only one - what will "make me get her back". You never had any intention of "forgetting her", although you stated "if she doesn't realize she made a mistake, I think im gonna have to forget about her." You have asked our opinions countless times about what you should do, when in fact you have every intention of "making" her, "influencing" her to come back to you. There is no other option for you. It is all or nothing. However, how much progress have you REALLY made? Not much really.

[talaniman]

Hmmmm, in a little more than a month you are in the same place as before. Maybe I'm wrong but where is the progress, and what about the hot tamale, that you were with when she called?

[Mom of 2]

I forgot about the hot tamale!! Yeah, what is up with that? If you really love someone, why even be tempted by someone else?

[tabbarat]

OK guys... in a perfect world, YES she is stringing both of us along! I agree..

If she still loves her ex and wants to get back with him, then why does she still call me, message me goodnight, want to kiss me, agree to come to the concert with me, etc and still show interest and flirt.. I ask myself that...

The answer is because her ex is thousands of miles away and she doesn't REALLY know if she wants to FULLY get back with him

I still don't get why TALNIMAN doesn't believe she is confused... try to put yourself in her place... she is wondering if she should move on or stay hung up on a past relation which is also long distance.. there is no doubt about that

Yes she is stringing BOTH of us along... and the ONLY reason I accept it is because it is her ex of TEN YEARS... I knew her situation before we started dating... I was OK with itand so was she... we both knew what we were getting into and decided to take it slow

So to me, its not like she is dating someone new... if she comes and tells me she likes someone new and that she is dating someone else here, then of course I would ditch her!

I don't know why, but for some reason I don't see her ex as a threat... sure 10yrs, but he lives far away, and she is not fully over me... thats why I keep getting encouraged to get back with her... especially knowing that her family doesn't approve of her talking to her ex again

U ask what I love about her? After only 4 mnths... the truth, many things! How we can spend hours talking, how we never argue, how we have fun together, how she always thinks the same things I do, how we tease each other and make each other laugh... so many things!

It is not the first time someone really likes/falls for someone after only 4mnths... it can happen

As for progress: well, we went from a break up, not talking, kissing, no messages, etc. to back to talking, messaging and kssing sometimes... granted we are not a couple again/didnt get her back... but sometimes it feels like we are,, like before she travelled and her calling me when she arrived from the airport... so there is progress, but still not out of the woods

As for the hot tamale? Haha... well, I did hesitate first, but then I told myself that I am still single... and she is talking to her ex again... so why not? Am I doing sth wrong? I don't think so... of course I didn't tell her about it.. I told her I met some girls we went out etc.. didnt tell her I got her back to my place

It was just lust, not love... before and after I was thinking of my ex... just not during ;)

What I think will happen is we will keep having this rollercoaster... one day she wants to move on and we will talk and flirt and kiss and go on a date, and one day she will be single... I will sometimes miss her and want to call her, and sometimes want to get with a hot tamale

The only way this will change is if we have a serious conversation or smthg else happens (she or I meet someone else that we like)

Right now I'm enjoying the ride.. and frankly, not going to make her choose between her ex and me yet, because I still feel the answer will be either him or I don't know and scare her off again... until I/she meet someone new or until I feel she is realizing her ex is a lost cause, I doubt I will make her choose

Take care all! :)