[jennis27]

Why do married men cheat

[jennis27]

When men cheat do that mean their not attractive to their wives

[jennis27]

No

[talaniman]

Men can be attracted to literally millions of females at once.

[avonlady]

Because they are trifling dogs

[donf]

Whoa there ladies. First we are not dogs. Don't belittle that species by equating us with dogs.

Men cheat because women let them! Let's face it, it takes two to tangle the sheets. It's no fun alone.

Men and women cheat because they can. Hormones, perfume, a pretty smile. A beautiful sunny day, whatever the reason.

It comes down to self discipline. It is the responsibility of both parties to say no.

Fortunately it's not all that hard to do. All you need to do is realize the amount of damage you will be doing to your own life and then choose not to do it.

For us guys, we exist on a single plane along with football, food, recliners and this thing called "Woman".

We know all there is to know about 3 of the four items on our plane. Woman is the great unexlplained mystery for us.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well Don from reading a lot of the other posts, I guess there are a lot who have fun alone, but on a seroius note first not all men cheat, in fact most would never cheat.

The ones that do have a lack of respect or a lack or self control and/or both. They put a little sexual pleasure ahead of their relationship.

With that said, there are plenty of women who cheat or know they are with a married man who is cheating.

[donf]

Fr. Chuck,

I completely agree with your post. With that said, I can also say that I have never cheated on my lady, nor do I plan on doing so. I never want to cause my wife the pain of destroyed trust, that kind of behavior would bring to her.

[Tuscany]

Oprah just did an entire show on why men cheat. I found it very eye opening and insightful - even though I have never been cheated on or cheated myself. One of the many reasons given is because the men feel under appreciated. Also the reason men cheat is rarely because of sex. Check out the link
Oprah.com - Live Your Best Life

[avonlady]

If you don't feel appreciated win an award... im sorry I know I'm only 24 but college men have made me VERY bitter.. I knew this one guy he cheated on his long time g/f with another girl in THE SAME APT COMPLEX. Im sorry you want to feel appreciated win an award... I saw that show and that guy was a jerk and its kind of hard to appreciate your husband with kids and chores to do... maybe if he got up off his rump and helped with the house work his wife would have appreciated him.

[simoneaugie]

avonlady, why would he get off his rump when he has a recliner, food and football?

Men crave appreciation. Women crave understanding. If men would understand that vacuuming under his feet while he's watching the game is hard work, they would be appreciated for lifting their feet!

Both men and women cheat because either there is something wrong with their marriage and/or head-pulling device is needed.

[avonlady]

simoneaugie;1293841]avonlady, why would he get off his rump when he has a recliner, food and football?

Or in my dads case jerry springer hell date and tyra (thats why my parents divorced). See if women would stop doing so much cleaning and just sat down and watched TV like men do then I bet wed se a change. If I get married you think I'm going to come home after work and start cleaning house? HELL NO... I worked just as hard...

Men crave appreciation. Women crave understanding. If men would understand that vacuuming under his feet while he's watching the game is hard work, they would be appreciated for lifting their feet!

Why don't mor women just turn and say "honey would you vacum the floor while I cook... or will you wash the dishes after dinner? I notice that some women don't realize men don't get clues you have to flat out say what you want.. . ill say it again men cheat because they are TRIFLING:mad:

[Synnen]

I'm a person who HAS cheated.

I'm not a serial cheater--it happened ONCE.

The reason it happened was because I was ignored, unappreciated, and felt unattractive to the guy I was living with at the time.

When someone else came along and made me feel special, attractive, witty, and fun--well, it sure beat crying myself to sleep because he'd spent yet ANOTHER evening not even noticing me.

And before anyone brings up communication--I tried. Betcha MOST cheaters try to communicate with their other half. Thing is, most of the time, the other half has got it good, and can't see or understand where the cheater is coming from until they either almost lose that person or DO lose that person.

It DOES come down to communication, but it's also about taking your partner seriously and working with them to fix any problems BEFORE it gets to that point, too.

[avonlady]

I would just rather divorce or dump the other person before cheating.. of course with my expierences with men I have a low bs tolereance

[Synnen]

Why does everyone act like cheating was a planned event?

It's not usually, you know. I didn't go out with the attitude "well, he's ignoring me, so I'm going to cheat on him".

It was more like "this other person is cool to hang out with, and I have a lot of fun with him, and my boyfriend is too busy with his friends to spend time with me anyway, so I'll just go out and have fun with this person"

After a long period of being ignored and taken for granted, someone else wanting you is a pretty heady experience--almost like being on drugs.

By the way---that boyfriend I cheated on? He's now my husband. We made it through that disaster, and he's never EVER taken me for granted again. I've also never given him a reason not to trust me again, either--it works both ways.

[donf]

Synmen,

I have to slightly disagree with you on the planned event. I can only speak for myself on this but I believe that the thought of cheating has to be approved of in advance by the person.

Otherwise, what happens when the little mental alarms go off telling you this is wrong. I have experienced that several times.

It doesn't matter whether I was "Being appreciated" at home the time or not.

I knew it would be wrong and that it would destroy the trust between my wife and I. I'm accountable to stop and extridite myself from the situation!

[simoneaugie]

For me, something has to be wrong in my marriage to even get into the mental state where I would be tempted to cheat.

Like Synnen said, I would first address the situation with talking, then more talking. The cheating would be an attempt to get caring and understanding that my spouse was unable, or unwilling to give. For instance if my man was unable to maintain an erection, but could talk to me about it, gave hugs and satisfied me with everything that did work, I would probably not cheat.

Perhaps, with men craving appreciation, not understanding, cheating is more of a chance event? A situation that tempts you, where looking at the consequences of your actions may or may not be considered?

[talaniman]

Most guys (gals too!) who cheat will use any excuse to justify their lazy, selfish, behavior. Whether they couldn't help themselves, or the wife (husband) doesn't treat me right. For whatever reason they use, they are still just trying to feel better. Isn't that's why humans do anything?

[avonlady]

To me once a cheat always a cheat... cheating is a deal breaker for me

[donf]

Again I have to caution you about cheating. In marriage you give and receive a vow of fidelity. If you break that vow, you are cheating, correct?

If you have not married and have not given or received a vow of fidelity how do you deem this to be cheating.

For example, my lady has just arrived in Barcelona, Spain this evening to meet a Cruise Ship and travel along the Mediterranean Coast for the next 9 days.

She has an expectation that I will behave myself during the time she's away. I have that same expectation for myself. We have vowed our commitment to each other via marriage.

So, just because I can go out and party without fear of getting caught, should I? My answer is no!

However I seem to remember about a year ago a posting agreeing in principle that free love was the way to go. Where are all you women now?

If any of you make sense of this, please let me know. I've been without a spouse for almost 24 hours now and I'm babbling. :)