[wikedjuggalo]

We are just beating a dead horse here.

[liz28]

I know that the reason why I no longer post any advice on this thread because it is like beating a dead horse. I just find it amusing.

[tabbarat]

I'm going to answer each of you one by one...

Mom of 2: "stop with the games? stop with the flirty convos?" I wish! I wish that was the case, but its not! And whether WE like it or not, relationships at some phases ARE a game! Everyone is guilty of "playing the game" at some point! No one is innocent... whether it is at the beginning, when you are still dating and don't want to seem too available... or during the relationship, when you both try to spice things up... or at the end, when no matter how badly you want to stay with the person, you "play the game" and go NC or tell him/her your OK with the break up! At some point everyone has tried to make their bf/gf jealous! No one is innocent! So don't blame me for "playing the game" in order to try to get her back!

Your asking if it is love? Of course! Then what! U think I like to do this in my free time?? I told you many times before, I've had many "relationships" before, and never would I think twice before dumping the girl, or getting back with her if she dumped me! Of course I love the girl... I love being with her and making her happy! I love what we had, and CAN have (future tense)... thats why I want her back and am putting this effort... if I didn't love her, I would have treated her like all my other realtionships and told her "fine, piss off" and gone partying and had me a threesome!

I never denied that if her ex was in dubai with us, she wouldn't be with me... I never said that.. of course she would be with him! We wouldn't have even met! And I always knew she was not FULLY over him, but just needed time to move on (original post).. I knew that from day 1.. she never lied about her past... I was still willing to get into a relationship with her knowing her "baggage", and she got into a relationship with me as well...

But the REALITY is the guy is NOT here with us... she didn't get fired, and she is staying here for now.. so lets deal with that... of course it will be hard for her to get over her ex of 10yrs, but is she going to do long distance all her life? I don't think so! All she needs is time to move on and realize that the past is the past... and she knows this!

btw, she told me her parents dont like the fact that she started talking to her ex again, and they prefer if she moved on with me...of course its her decision (not her parents), but just thought i'd let u guys know

The point is, of course if he is in the pic she is never FULLY mine... but these things take time... it takes a while to get over someone of 10yrs! I understand that... but also, if she was FULLY over me, then it would be easy for her to tell me FCUK off, but instead she still wants to see me

She "just wants to get laid"? Just to let you know, we haven't had sex since we started talking/seeing each other again... and our convos aren't always sexual and perverted; we are talking like we used to when we were together... and I don't think a girl that just wants me to DO her, would ask me to "drop her at the airport bc im the last person she wants to see before she travels for a week!"

liz28: I missed u! :P when did I ever say someone's advice was bad? If you find me the post where I used that word, I will send you roses to your home address! :) but I don't think u'll find any post where I said anyone's advice sucks, so I'm sorry, but you won't be getting any roses from me :(

I don't mind learning the hard way! I'm strong enough to handle it... having a previous relationship of 5yrs end makes you stronger... I say it again, I love single life almost as much as I love being with her, so its not like I'll be depressed and not want to leave the house for weeks, etc.!

U can love someone, but also be strong enough to handle what may come... the best part is knowing that you did your best and had no regrets

If you and matteus don't want to post anymore, feel free not to! I never told/begged anyone to write anything... I appreciate all posts, but no love lost if you stop writing

But hmmmm... I see 3000 views! So 2 less views won't make a difference

i love being the bad guy...everybody loves a villain..hehehe (joking)

Matteus: where do I start with u.. heheh... ur mean sometimes, but I still respect your opinions

1) I am serious, trust me... but if I ever go to albania, u'll see that I'm a fun and cool guy! :)... nothing wrong with making what is starting to become a boring question a bit funny, to add some humour to our posts

2) "im alone"... good, the way I like it... anyway, have been alone since day one... 90% of you disagree with me since the beginning so nothing new

3) I'm free to ask for advice.. ur free to give or not give advice!

4) aha! Now this is where I get a bit mean...

"be a man! what are you?"... who do you think you are? Are you my friend? Are you my father?. not once did I insult u... we always disagreed, but I never insulted you... I still think we are both grown respectful men that can have a discussion without insults... hope I am not wrong about u

Be a man? U don't know me! U don't know my past and present... to you pride and strength in this situation is giving up, and going NC... to me its getting a girl I love and see a future with back! I might be facing rejection, and I'm facing a girl who is not fully over her ex of 10yrs, but I'm still in it! Not scared of the consequences.. one post even called me "emotionally brave" ;)... to ME that is strength... I guess we will just have to agree to disagree

I would still like to say, that 3 weeks ago, we were not talking, seeing each other, "broken up", etc... now we talk on the phone almost everyday, we see each other a couple times a week, and we are kissing, and she wants me to take her to the airport... hmmm... I think maybe a small part of her is considering to get back with me

And finally, let me ask you all this my internet friends: SHE HAS A ONE WEEK VACATION... SHE DECIDED TO GO TO TURKEY WITH HER FAMILY INSTEAD OF UKRAINE TO SEE HER BF!. hmmmm... she told me that her "bf" got pissed at that... just a thought

Anyway, for those of you who are viewing and writing: thank u

For those who are not going to write anymore: nice meeting u

Take care... TABBARAT HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

[Ash123]

Hey, I see this thread is still going... you have created quite a stir. Ha! Good times:-)

As for your girl. I think you can have sex with her again. In fact, I bet you can date her again. It is going to be on her terms though buddy. You may like it at first, but until she's "ready" she'll wear the pants. (But some guys like that. He he) -- Anyway, Good luck. I'll check back in a month when you all are dating! :-) You may find your relationship pattern repeats, as is pretty common, but as long as you are not looking to get married anytime soon - you have time. To wait... and wait :-) be warned.

Peace

[hjpan]

look at the way you reply to our posts. Does it sound serious? No. Are you being serious? I doubt.



No, we arent together in this. You are alone.



As you see, noone is being with you. But, in the end, its your life and do whatever you want, but dont ask for advice.



till she makes a choice? She is not your GOD!!! Be a man! what are you? is there any sign of proud in your being?

If I am correct.... history repeats itself to the people who did not learn their lesson in the first place.

Take Nazi Germany during WWI & WWII...
When WWI came, military leaders thought they were all buff & tough since they've defeated other countries easily. Well... they lost part of their territories and forced to have no army.

Adolf Hitler came and gave hope for Germans...
Until the Nazi army were flanked during D-Day at Normandy
When I say flanked, it means "tricked"...

And Adolf Hitler decided to attack USSR so the Japanese have a route to defend Germany on the side

Nope.... Hitler committed suicide~ Germany lost the war

[Matteus]

Do I sound mean? Yes. That's the effect my words give to people after they hear my opinion. We, members of this site (sorry for talking in the name of them too), might sound harsh and aggressive, but we are sincere, and what's more important, we do not have any damn reason to make you or anyone else feel bad! And as for myself, I have to tell you that, I'm not going to change my way, you like it or not. You wanted advice, that's why you came here, but I hate when someone asks for help, but wants to hear what he likes to hear. If I insulted you, than I insulted myself, cause when I was talking to you, it was like I was talking to myself!

[tabbarat]

I don't know what the fcuk your getting at :), but it was a nice history lesson :)

1) I've never been in a similar situation before (dating a girl with baggage, ex of 10yrs etc.), so can't learn from my OWN mistakes yet

2) at least hitler was "king" while it lasted... im sure it was a good ride for him, and maybe no regrets... he rode it out, gave it his all, and found out himself the outcme eventually

(dont get me wrong, I hate the guy! He is a criminal that is burning in hell)

But if you want my historic perspective: 1) hitler/japan fcuked up by attacking the USA (pearl harbor)... they woke up a sleeping giant

2) hiroshima and nagasaki ended the war as well.. can't forget that

3) hitler had some strategic mistakes with his attacks on russia... he led an under-equipped and under trained army through the cold mountains of russia... he should have used more planes

Anyway, have no idea what this has to do with my Ukrainian girl... but it was fun! Take care bro

[Matteus]

not scared of the consequences..

Its all about consequences, my man, and your image in her eyes. You only had a 4 months relations, what to expect in the future. She already knows your weakness. I really hope the best, and that she won't use your weakness against you. Because if she does, the story will repeat itself. And what might happen to your pride, its what is more important.

[tabbarat]

Matteus: look, I do appreciate your posts/advice...

Think of it this way, maybe next time I have another relationship problem, we will agree 100%

Your advice is not wrong or bad... it just happens that we disagree on something's... we just have to agree to disagree (without insults)

Your right... I have to be careful how I go about this... I can't let her see/use my weakness against me... but that will be my own mistake to make...

For example... she is going on vacation for 6 days... that will be a good time to give her space/ time... I will obviously not call her and message her , etc... I will tell her hope you have fun, you deserve it after such a stressful time, I'll call/see you when you get back... then go NC

[Matteus]

think of it this way, maybe next time i have another relationship problem, we will agree 100%

I really hope you are not going to have another relationship problem, but if that will happen, still I hope we won't agree 100%, cause than who will be the "black sheep between the white ones" :)? I mean, without a little "tension", it will be boring!

(without insults)

Sorry for taking it as an insult, but it was like an appeal to your reason!

[Matteus]

i will tell her hope u have fun, u deserve it after such a stressful time, i'll call/see u when u get back....then go NC

I have to disagree. Stop being the good and nice guy for a moment. Remember, you came here because it was stressful for you too! Mostly for YOU. She should be the one to tell you "Sorry for putting you in this sh*t". Cause you don't deserve it! At least, you didn't do anything wrong, as I saw. We, as human beings, all have problems, but we have to understand that that problem is OUR problem, and no one should be influenced or made feel bad because of our problems. She felt under stress, she got problems, etc, but it is not fair that you live with her problems and stress too! Hope you got what I mean, cause it was a little difficult to explain in english :)

[tabbarat]

No problem man... sometimes white sheep and black sheep disagree ;)... I hope we BOTH never have relationship problems... but if you ever do, dubai is waiting for you man! :)

Anyway, for whoever is still reading/posting.. I will continue to update.. it will be interesting (to me at least) to see how she acts when she is on vacation

I know that when i was on vacation (but we were still a couple), she would call me everyday and tell me she misses me etc... and I was gone for 3 weeks!.

So I'm interested to ses how she acts now

I meant stressful at work... not us! :) she deserves some time off after her stress at work and worrying about getting fired...

.. of course I did nothing wrong! No way! I was good to her... she knows that, I know that... and she apologized many times already

But hey... let me ask you a question man... why do you think she went to turkey with her family, instead of ukraine to see her "bf"? She could have went to ukraine and seen them BOTH (family and him)

Mind you she has not seen him in like 9mnths!

[hjpan]

ur right...i have to be careful how i go about this...i can't let her see/use my weakness against me...but that will be my own mistake to make...

for example...she is going on vacation for 6 days...that will be a good time to give her space/ time....i will obviously not call her and message her and etc....i will tell her hope u have fun, u deserve it after such a stressful time, i'll call/see u when u get back....then go NC

There is no use of hiding your weakness.

The more you hide your weakness, the more obvious it will show.

@Matteus: good advise =]

[tabbarat]

What's up with you hjapan? Is it just me or do I feel like your talking in code? Hahah... like mr.miyagi or Yoda or smthg :P

But anyway, your advice and matteus advice is useful while she is on vacation.. gonna do the NC thing... see how she acts

[Matteus]

i meant stressful at work...not us! :) she deserves some time off after her stress at work and worrying about getting fired...

..of course i did nothing wrong!! no way! i was good to her...she knows that, i know that...and she apologized many times already

but hey...let me ask u a question man...why do u think she went to turkey with her family, instead of ukraine to see her "bf"? she could have went to ukraine and seen them BOTH (family and him)

mind u she has not seen him in like 9mnths!

Who said she is going to turkey, anyway?

[hjpan]

whats up with u hjapan? is it just me or do i feel like ur talking in code? hahah...like mr.miyagi or Yoda or smthg :P

but anyway, ur advice and matteus advice is useful while she is on vacation..gonna do the NC thing...see how she acts

If you don't understand what I wrote.. I'll explain.

You have weak points. Everyone has a weak point no matter what.

If you keep hiding the weakness of yourself, the more likely you will show it to the outside world.

I have weak points. Matteus has weak points. BigBird123 has weak points. You have weak points too. So what do males/females do to attract others? Hide their weak points.

Keep yourself distance away from her...

But really, you've received enough help/advise... the rest is on your own.

[tabbarat]

She told me... she asked if I can drop her to the airport because "she would like me to be the last person she sees before she leaves"

Wait... are you suggesting she might be lying to me and saying turkey when its ukraine?? Hmm... interesting, but I don't think so... she knows she doesn't have to lie to me... she can just say the truth

I think it will be harder to cover up the lie than just say she is going to ukraine

[Matteus]

she told me...she asked if i can drop her to the airport bc "she would like me to be the last person she sees before she leaves"

wait...are u suggesting she might be lying to me and saying turkey when its ukraine??! hmm...interesting, but i dont think so...she knows she doesnt have to lie to me...she can just say the truth

i think it will be harder to cover up the lie than just say she is going to ukraine

Maybe.although I hate being a sneaker... sometimes it is useful.

[tabbarat]

Hahahha.. tell me about it... did my share of sneaking around too ;)... I don't know.. I don't think so... she was truthful enough to tell me she was talking to her ex again and that she still has feelings for him... I don't think she has to lie about this...

And she told me her "bf" got mad at her, etc..

Plus she told me she bought a new bathing suit... I think its cold in ukraine now isn't it? Your from albania.. u tell me! :)

Anyway, assuming she IS saying the truth and going to turkey with her family... what that makes me understand is that she is still not ready to get back with him either... I mean she hasn't seen him for 9 mnths!

If I was him, I would forget about her and let her move on ;) heheh

[hjpan]

hahahha..tell me about it...did my share of sneaking around too ;)....i dont know..i dont think so...she was truthful enough to tell me she was talking to her ex again and that she still has feelings for him...i dont think she has to lie about this...

and she told me her "bf" got mad at her, etc..

plus she told me she bought a new bathing suit...i think its cold in ukraine now isnt it?! ur from albania..u tell me! :)

anyway, assuming she IS saying the truth and going to turkey with her family....what that makes me understand is that she is still not ready to get back with him either...i mean she hasnt seen him for 9 mnths!

if i was him, i would forget about her and let her move on ;) heheh

Even though she fought with her ex verbally, she might visit him to patch the stuff up

You never know.