[Queen_864]

Well I've Been With My Boyfriend Curtis For 2 and a Half Years.
When I Met Him He Was Shy And Didn't Talk To Most Of My Friends Until He Got To Know Them. Over The Course Of Our Relationship He's Became More Open And Easy To Talk To And Developed Into The Guy I Love And Eventually Plan On Marrying. My Mom Loves Him And His Parents Love Me. We Go To Church Together Every Sunday And He Spends The Weekends Here So He Can Spend Time With Me Since His College Is Only A Hour Away.

But During The Week It's Been Hell. Keep In Mind This Is His Second Year In College We Survived One Year And It Wasn't As Bad Because He Came Home On Tuesday's As Well.
But With Him Coming Home Only On The Weekends, The Week Is Full With Him Studying Since He's In A Big College This Year With A Harder Curriculum. He's Focused On School But He Makes 30 Minutes A Day At least To Talk With Me On The Phone. During That Time He Usually Talks About School Or There is Silence. Today He Told Me Some Girl Askeed FOr His Number And He Told Her He Had A Girlfriend But Of Course That's Not Something A Girlfriend Likes To Hear.

I'm Trying To Believe In Us And Everything. But These Days I Just Feel Put On The Back burner Until The Weekend. I've Tried To Talk To Him But He Says He's Doing The Best He Can. I Love Him And Want To Make This Work. How Do I Keep Myself Occupied So I Don't Miss Him So Much And Deal With Him Being Around The What I Think Of As The College Party Girls(Eventhough He Doesn't Party It's Stuck In My Mind.) Until I Get To The Same College Next Year?

[progunr]

Do you trust him?

If the answer is no, then the distance is only a symptom of your problems, not the cause.

You can't plan on spending the rest of your life with someone you can't trust, well, unless you desire to be miserable, for the rest of your life.

I couldn't help but notice that you capitalize every word when you type?

I'm a generally curious person so I have to ask you... why?

[Queen_864]

Well I Trust Him Because I Know What Type Of Person He Is But At Times I Accuse Him Of Things I Know He Doesn't Do Just Because In Previous Relationships It Has I Guess You Could Say I Do Trust Him But I Am Always Peeping Around Making Sure I Still Can. But He's Not The Player Type But He Is Very Cute So Girls Approach Him Which Irritates Me And That Makes Me Question Him Like That.

Oh And About The Capitalization... I Used To Be On A Forum Where Some Guy Did It And I Liked How It Looked And That's Been About 5 Years Ago. But Needless To Say, I Picked It Up From Him And Haven't Stopped Since... Get's Me In Trouble On Research Papers Though... Hard To Break The Habit.

[JBeaucaire]

You should break the habit, though.

[Queen_864]

I'd Rather Be Getting Advice On The Topic Rather Than My Typing If You Don't Mind Please...

[progunr]

I get it.

You picked a real knock out for a guy, and since you find him so attractive, you are worried that every other woman, wants him as much as you do.

You say that you trust him, yet you sneak around trying to catch him at something.

You need to work on your own insecurities, more than he needs to work on anything himself.

I might suggest you try to find a guy who's real nice, but ugly, then you won't be so concerned about all the women in the world being after him.

Seriously though, can you imagine having to worry about this "unhappily ever after"?

Reevaluate your situation, seek some help with your own self esteem and insecurities, and maybe the two of you can have a chance to be happy together.

[Queen_864]

You Make Perfect Sense.

I Probably Am Being Insecure.

[talaniman]

Not only do you type funny, your letting your mind play tricks on you, for no reason. That's a personal issue you need to work on, insecurity, which is as unattractive, as your hard to read typing.

[Queen_864]

Unattractive Typing... That's A New One. But... here is this better?

[Romefalls19]

Yes, that is better. Please keep it that way, everyone is right, this is YOUR problem not his. You have created a problem out of nothing, he was being honest about a girl asking for his number and you still aren't happy. Make him a t-shirt that says "I have a girlfriend, don't talk to me" If you don't get over your issues then this relationship is doomed

[hjpan]

You are doing what my ex did when we were dating.

I went off to university and broke up with me a week before my finals.
Told me I'm "too good" for her and need to find a girl closer to me, she lost interest, and so forth.

I didn't buy her crap.

[Queen_864]

Thanks for the advice. I am applying it and it seems to be making things go by more smoother. We talked about it and I'm happy. I'll update with more if anything happens.

[DottieH12C]

By the way and please don't be offended but don't you think you're being a little selfish? He's in college and it's his second year and you want him to come home every weekend? Don't you want him to have a college experience? Not a cliché boozing and a different girl every night experience but just any kind of social life?

I graduated and I wish I was still there to be with my friends and do things on the weekend. You should be thanking your stars that your boyfriend is so devoted to you that he comes home EVERY weekend to be with you!

Why don't you surprise him and back off a little bit. Don't give him a hard time if he doesn't call, don't act uninterested but show him you understand how much he has to do. I guarantee you'll get more then 30min on the phone.

But seriously stop and think about what you have instead of trying to control something you can't if you love him know that by him coming home all the time that's more then most girls get.

Hope that helped.

[mimi03]

I know you said that things are fine now but I wanted to respond because I was in this situation with my current boyfriend...

He's like yours. He is attractive and he doesn't even know it (which helps in the personality dept.)... some people who know they "look good" too often have terrible personalities IMO.
He grew up pretty nerdy, had the braces and glasses and a stutter (which has greatly improved).

Well, we did the long distance thing I was about 2 hours away.

We talked on the phone daily... conversations sometimes lacked what they had when we were together.
But he would come to see me almost every weekend and sometimes during the week.

Sometimes I would let those stupid thoughts creep into my head about other girls BUT I would just remind myself that, He's a great guy!

He was using his money to fill his gas tank to drive 2 hours to see ME...
He would stay awake (b/c I'm a night owl or insomniac, lol) to talk on the phone with ME...
He was showing me his devotion and that's all that matters.

Focus on the evidence he provides you: honesty (about other girls hitting on him)... talking with you as much as he can, spending the wkends with you etc.
Those are some important things to build on... try not to let your insecurities build up and toss those "what if's" to the curb :)

As for what you can do to occupy your mind/time... read, write, pick up a hobby, join a volunteer organization (my personal fav.)
You'll soon see the conversations getting more interesting (when you are doing some things outside of waiting for a phone call). You'll have more to talk about but more importantly you'll be spending time doing something worthwhile.

Like I said we did the long distance dance then he transferred to my college... We now live together and are moving forward as a couple.
Hey, sometimes I miss the distance! It made gave me something to look forward to on the weekends... Now we play monopoly and yahtzee :) We're old souls and I guess I'm a nerd too!

You can get through this, like most things You have to really want to do it and apply yourself.

*Best Wishes*

[Queen_864]

In Response To Dottie...

He Comes Home On The Weekends Because He's A Musician At Our Church And He Has Practices Saturday And Church Sunday aka Its His Job! So Its Not Because Of Me. But I'm Sure Some Reasons Are Because Of Me Of Course.


In Response To Mimi...

Yeah My Boyfriend Doesn't Think He's That Attractive As I Think He Is. So Yeah He Isn't Cocky.
And I Will Take Your Advice On Finding Things To Do. You Really Seem To Know Exactly Where I'm Coming From. Best Advice I've Gotten. Guess You'd Have To Be In The Situation To Know...

And sorry I forgot about my typing... lol