[tangled0up]

First timer on the site, and I'm not sure if this is the right category, but here we go:

Long story short, I meet a girl, we date, and then we have a beautiful baby girl (we'll call her Lil A). Lil A was born in September of 2007. On the 4th of July (2008), the mother decided she didn't want to be with me or live here anymore and went back home to live with her mother. She took my daughter, and filed custody, child support, and visitation. The preliminary hearing for these isn't until September 2008. Since she left, she hasn't allowed me to spend any time with Lil A, except just to look at her. Mama won't let me keep her for the weekend, or even an afternoon. Lil A's grandmother told me I wasn't allowed to come over, or she'd call the police and have me escorted away. The best I can get is if they are going out somewhere, I can tag along and watch. If I try to interact in any way with my daughter, mama scoops up the little one and leaves.

I live in Virginia. Is this legal? Can she just take my daughter and not let me see her? It seems like kidnapping to me... but then again, she IS the mother. I don't know because there aren't any court documents yet to say what she is allowed to do, and I am no lawyer. Anyone have a clue what I can do to be able to see my daughter again?

[mimi03]

... I can only say to get a lawyer so that you can have some representation at the hearing and have the information about what can be done to ensure she doesn't take this any further or continue this...

Im sure there are more people here on the site who can give you more advice, so just stick around or check back later!

[N0help4u]

Yes it is legal that she can do whatever she wants to keep you from seeing her because you do not have a custody/visitation order. You need to get to court and tell the Judge that the only reason you have not been seeing her is because the mother refuses but you DO TRY.
Get the order and if she doesn't comply to the order then you need to take her back to court to get it enforced. Until you have the order you have no legal ground to stand on on how much, how little or how often she allows you to see her.

[DrLang]

Yes it is legal that she can do whatever she wants to keep you from seeing her because you do not have a custody/visitation order. You need to get to court and tell the Judge that the only reason you have not been seeing her is because the mother refuses but you DO TRY.
Get the order and if she doesn't comply to the order then you need to take her back to court to get it enforced. Until you have the order you have no legal ground to stand on on how much, how little or how often she allows you to see her.

Unfortunately in most states if you don't register as the father before the child is born, you have no legal rights. Father rights in the United States suck. Talk to a custody lawyer though because laws are finally starting to change on that.

[excon]

Unfortunately in most states if you don't register as the father before the child is born, you have no legal rights.

Hello tangled:

You need a lawyer. You are obviously a person who won't stand up for himself. If a person like you goes to court WITHOUT a lawyer, a person like you will get screwed. And, the person who will get screwed the most is your daughter.

And, to you Dr. I don't know where a father "registers". There's only the birth certificate, and the mother fills that out. Nope, the only registry that counts is DNA, and he can get a paternity test if the mother denies he's the father.

But, when paternity IS established, he HAS rights - just as many as the mother has. All he needs to do is SECURE them. Sometimes, that takes a fight, and it takes someone willing to engage in that fight.

excon

[mimi03]

Hello tangled:


And, to you Dr., I dunno where a father "registers". There's only the birth certificate, and the mother fills that out. Nope, the only registry that counts is DNA, and he can get a paternity test if the mother denies he's the father.

excon

There's the Putative Father's Registry in some states.

[excon]

Hello mimi:

Very cool. I didn't know about that. Even though I know just about everything in the law, this an everything I didn't know.

However, the registry doesn't grant any rights upon a father, nor does it save time or money that needs to be spent in the legal system fighting for the rights he DOES have.

It's better than nothing, though.

excon

[mimi03]

You're right the regisrty doesn't grant the father rights, I guess it's used to give the father an opportunity to claim the child, especially in the event of the mother wanting to keep him out of the child's life. This gives him a foundation which makes it harder for the mother to just claim that the father was never interested in the child and didn't want any part of their life...

But this guy definetely needs legal representation, I hope it all works out for the best.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes what you have to do is get into court, it souns like you are letting her decide what will or won't happen, but an attorney could perhaps get you a earlier custody hearinga

[N0help4u]

Unfortunately in most states if you don't register as the father before the child is born, you have no legal rights. Father rights in the United States suck. Talk to a custody lawyer though because laws are finally starting to change on that.

I have never heard of registering before the child is born. What if they register as the father before the baby is born and they are NOT the father? I have heard of guys being responsible for the baby even though they ended up not being the father simply because their name was on the birth certificate. I think it should be mandatory to have a paternity test before signing the birth certificate because too many dads are being suckered into paying child support for a kid that isn't even theirs. Once a guy can establish paternity they should have legal rights because many girls can't even figure which guy IS daddy until it is a few years old as it is.

I would like to read more about that is there a website on it?