Should I or shouldn't I?!

Scorpio848 · Jul 30, 2004, 08:48 AM

My boyfriend and I were just invited to go to Sturgis with one of our good friends. For anyone who does not know what Sturgis is, it's an annual biker rally in South Dakota. Here's the link. Totally cool.

http://www.sturgismotorcyclerally.com/

Anyway, my boyfriend can not go due to work but I can. My boss agreed to give me the vacation time. My boyfriend agreed that it was unfair for me to have to stay home just because he couldn't go. All he asks is that I bring him back something.
So, me and my friend have been making plans and mapping out the driving route. We are so excited. But then my mother calls and I tell her of my really cool road trip and she completely gave me a guilt trip. She says she can not believe that I am going without my boyfriend and that the proper thing to do is wait until next year when he can go too. And that even though he says he has no problem with it, it has to bother him. So, now I feel really bad. And the more I feel bad the more pissed off I get. I am 30 years old. Perfectly capable of making my own decisions and going on vacation wherever I want. I do not feel the need to ask my boyfriend permission. Or have him chaperone me. He is not my father nor my babysitter. I feel very strongly about this. But, why do I feel so guilty now, when I feel so strongly about being independent? Should I still go?

Scorpio

Jahiem28 · Jul 30, 2004, 09:20 AM

HI Scorpio Kudos to your boyfriend. I know you're a grown woman and u make your own decisions. But to have a man that is unselfish enough to support you on taking this trip while he work. THat great. That a sign of a strong relationship having respect for each other happyness. Do not feel guilty. When u get back your have a few good stories to tell your boyfriend and you guys can look forward to going together next year. GOod luck have fun ;D remember time apart from are love one help us appreciate how much they truly mean to us!!

Scorpio848 · Jul 30, 2004, 09:36 AM

Thanks Jahiem,

You're right. We do have a really great relationship. And he is the most amazing man that I have ever known. Hard working, dedicated, loving, understanding, respedts me and always shows it. I could not ask for a better man. I guess I should go with his feelings on the trip and not let other people guilt trip me. A lot of people try to make us question our judgment about stuff like this. I suppose maybe it is because they do not have the same kind of relationship that we do. I actually knew someone who had to ask her husband if it was OK to take the family car to go grocery shopping. What the heck kind of crap is that??

Anyway, thanks again for the encouragement and stuff.

Scorpio

chicki · Aug 2, 2004, 12:06 AM

Yea, I agree with jaheim28. Go for it! Its so obvious that you guys have such a strong and loving relationship.

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." -- Comte DeBussy-Rabutin

HAVE FUN ON YOUR TRIP!

artistall · Aug 10, 2004, 08:46 AM

First off I think your mother likes your boyfriend a lot and is sympathizing for him in a way that comes off as giving you a guilt feeling which is not her intention but only feels bad for him. You seem set in your ways about what you want and don't really care about who gets in the way as long as you get your way! You have some guilt because there is some part of you that does feel bad about leaving your boyfriend to go off to a party somewhere without him. Which means there is a compassionate side to you. The answer to this dilemna lies simply in the degree of comitment you have towards your relationship. Your not married and so therefore you still have an open door to exit anytime you want. Your age has absolutely nothing to do with this issue. Allow the same consessions for him in the future and you should be all right. It is good that you wrote in as it shows that you are concerned about doing the right thing. However I feel if you don't go it may make you somewhat resentful which you may internalize until a later date when it may surface in the form of relationship discord. If you go Have fun and Stay Safe!

Scorpio848 · Aug 16, 2004, 08:05 AM

Well, I went and now I am back. Thanks to all of you for your opinions and advice. It was appreciated.

I had a really good time, however, I missed my boyfriend the whole time. It would have been way better had he gone. I am very glad to be home and back where I belong.

If any of you get the chance to go to Sturgis, I say go!! It was a blast, except for Kid Rock's stupid sorry butt. We were looking forward to his show the whole time. We waited in traffic for over 2 hours to get in. On a Harley, in 38 degree weather. Just to find out that the concert had been canceled because his sorry butt got busted with Cocaine. What a loser.

DRUGS SUCK!!

Well, thanks again. Catch you all later.

Scorpio