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ravenman · Jul 26, 2008, 06:12 AM

I am in such pain over this so anyone with some outside thoughts please help me out. I have been dating my GF for about 4 months now we have known each other for 1 year. It is a match we had a lot in common. We had a lot of bottled emotions for each other before we started dating, things progressed fast, feelings were mutaul, we spoke about marriage and even put it on a schedule.
I am a very caring man, romantic laid back sort. I would do things like send flowers here and there or call (text) through out the day, she is a very independent woman. She became upset with me saying I was becoming clingie which is a curse of a word. I am trying to give her the space she wishes. One issue that came up is her inability to sleep when I stay over with her, she is someone that needs her sleep she says I give off a lot of heat, I have went and seeking Dr support on the issue. What is so upseting is me as she would always call me in the evening or text me, the last 2 days she has not and its bothering me a lot. I have a life but to be honest I put her up pretty high on my priorities, she has pulled back and seems distant.
One thing I do know from both our past relationships we don't cheat, I really don't think that is the issue, I just wonder if she is thinking of slowley dumping me.

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2008, 06:26 AM

I would back off and let her be the one to contact you to see what pace she wants.
Also if you get out and start doing more things for yourself and not calling her she may see a change and want to give it another chance. As long as you are coming off as clingy it is only going to push her further away.

ravenman · Jul 26, 2008, 06:31 AM

I know she would get upset with me calling at bad times, I truly hope that I am not being kicked to the curb on this. Silence is a mean thing to battle. I just know that it weights heavy on my heart. Yesturday she told me we are going to be OK she just needed some space, I told her I was sorry for overstepping and will not make the same mistake she said we will see.. Is this a test of some sort?

KalFour · Jul 26, 2008, 07:10 AM

It might be a test. Or she might genuinely be pushing for a little more space and freedom.
You say she's an independent woman? Well respect that and allow her to be.
No matter hoe important my relationships have been, I've always found that I like to do things on my own and have space. And as much fun as intimacy and attention can be, if they're constant they can quickly become tedious and over-bearing. Small things you do that might seem sweet and romantic to one person can seem possessive and needy to another.
Give her space and time to think.

All the best,
Kal

adamtucker · Jul 26, 2008, 04:13 PM

Buddy I'm going through the Same situation. It sucks because my girl had a hickey the other day which really hurt. My girl had moved her stuff in so I didn't think I was moving too fast. Main thing you can do is let her initiate contact with you physically. This girl told me that kissing her every time we left each other was the thing that really scared her. If you stay away she may come back meaning it was meant to be. If not you will save yourself some heartbreak and be ready to find a girl who is as ready to get serious as you are. I feel your pain man!

ravenman · Jul 26, 2008, 08:34 PM

Well She called me and we got together and we had a nice time, she wanted me to drop her off. I was hoping to get the "hay wanna stay over look" but I didn't. I think she sensed my distress because she called me soon afterwards and we spoke.
She said that there isn't anything wrg with us staying at home at night and we would get together to :) and test out this sleeping thing, I asked if the way I was acting was why I wasn't invited up, she said yes a little bit of it was... Not sure what the rest is didn't push. I tell you I am mid 30s and it isn't getting easier.
She also spoke about marriage in her mind would be a year away, I still have this weird feeling