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mcd_73 · Jun 25, 2008, 07:26 PM

I really like this girl, actually love, who is a good friend of mine.
The only problem is that another friend of mine (who I introduced) has started going out with her recently.
They started going out after I had already told my friend that I really liked this girl, which really pisses me off.

I have never gone out with her, only some flirting and we usually stay together when we are in a big group.
She actually asked me how I felt about it after about a week of not telling anyone, even though we weren't a couple
Also I was the first person she told, does this mean she was concerned for me, or even likes me more than I had first thought?

Also we were flirting with each other for a while, and its clear we had a connection, but now my friend went behind my back and knew how I felt, I no longer consider this person my friend and I am willing to do anything to be with this girl.

I'm not sure whether I should:
1) tell this girl how I feel, plainly and simply
2) be a good friend to the girl, and continue to see her
3) forget about her (this one I really don't want to do)
Or any other suggestions would be appreciated

Please help, thanks

Oh and another thing, we do the same classes so I don't want it to be weird when I see her all the time

I really like this girl, actually love, who is a good friend of mine.
The only problem is that another friend of mine (who I introduced) has started going out with her recently.
They started going out after I had already told my friend that I really liked this girl, which really pisses me off.

I have never gone out with her, only some flirting and we usually stay together when we are in a big group.
She actually asked me how I felt about it after about a week of not telling anyone, even though we weren't a couple
Also I was the first person she told, does this mean she was concerned for me, or even likes me more than I had first thought?

Also we were flirting with each other for a while, and its clear we had a connection, but now my friend went behind my back and knew how I felt, I no longer consider this person my friend and I am willing to do anything to be with this girl.

I'm not sure whether I should:
1) tell this girl how I feel, plainly and simply
2) be a good friend to the girl, and continue to see her
3) forget about her (this one I really don't want to do)
Or any other suggestions would be appreciated

Please help, thanks

Oh and another thing, we do the same classes so I don't want it to be weird when I see her all the time

IM4U · Jun 25, 2008, 07:46 PM

Which approach is going to most nearly resolve the matter for you?

If the girl related to you as just a friend, is that because she did not know how you felt about her? If so, and if you can handle whatever response you might get, you can still tell her how you felt.

If both of you want to continue as friends, what is wrong with that? That may be difficult for you, though. You may find it needful to "move on."

After re-reading part of what you said, I think I would want a conversation with her to try to really get some clarity in my head about who we are and want to be with each other.

It would be well to part on a friendly and not hostile basis if parting is what needs to happen.

Again without hostility, you might want to clear the air with this other guy if you think both of you considered each other as good friends and if it seems like he "moved in on you."

I hope that conversation can take place without slamming each other also.

Disclaimer: These comments represent the views and opinions of the writer and are not provided or intended for use as within a professional-client relationship. Anyone applying these concepts to a life situation assumes sole responsibility for the results of doing so.

ylaira · Jun 25, 2008, 07:54 PM

U may just tell her that u like ever since her but since ur friend creeped behind you and it worked, u'll respect it. Then vanish.....

ylaira · Jun 26, 2008, 05:52 PM

ive answered this before.... Ok got to option 1. Because she's now your friend's GF. No matter how that friend of yours got her, its still nice to be gentleman.

mcd_73 · Jun 26, 2008, 06:55 PM

Yeah but hardly anyone else did so its here again

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 08:56 PM

Honestly.. it sounds to me like you dropped the ball on this one... lesson learned.

She was probably waiting for YOU to make a move or to make the effort to maybe start something with her, and you didn't. From reading your post you say you introduced her to a friend of yours and he made the move that you couldn't. Don't take out your frustrations by befriending him for it.

Do yourself a favor and just let things be. Continue to be friends with these people. I mean lets be honest, you weren't dating the girl so in my opinion he really didn't break and boundries. And also, now that they are dating, don't all of a sudden tell this girl your true feelings. All that will do is make her wonder why you took so long to say it, and why you'd choose to do it while she was dating someone.

As I stated earlier.. take this as a lesson learned. Don't wait around for things to happen... MAKE them happen

sokay · Jun 26, 2008, 10:31 PM

I would go with option '1'. Do it casually, but make sure you get your point across, and see if you can get some sort of response from her.

But with the caveat that you must also tell her (truthfully) that whatever else you will still be friends with all. That is for your benefit as well as hers; if you change your attitude to a negative one towards her or him, it will make you look bad. If you must stop hanging out with them, try not to let them know it's because of their relationship.

talaniman · Jun 28, 2008, 10:05 AM

Option 1, tell her how you feel, and if she doesn't feel the same, then you bow out gracefully, and pursue other interests, and be polite and friendly when you see her. You said she is dating your friend, but what kind of relationship do they have??

Fr_Chuck · Jun 28, 2008, 11:13 AM

Posts merged

tami1985 · Jun 28, 2008, 01:56 PM

Option 1. If you picked up that you and her had a connection, than she was probably waiting for you to make your move, but your didn't. Since your friend and her have only started to go out and she even asked you how to felt. Answer honestly and if she feels the same way you would be giving her and you a chance. I don't think there is any better option

bendyt · Sep 25, 2010, 11:47 AM

Hey, dude, I'm in exactly the same situation as you. In fact, it happenedlast week, here's what I've done: 1. I've explained that if this guy does anything at all to hurt her, I will **** him up so bad. 2. I am trying to stay friends with her, it isn't easy, but I don't want to sacrifice the friendship I have with her.
This stuff may or may not work for you, its just me. By the way, this friend, is he really a friend? I don't think so. Anyway good luck and, you're not alone.