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crazyme · Jun 26, 2008, 08:08 PM

Threads merged for background information

We are for almost 2 years.. then I think my love for her is fadin'... I think I like someone else... what should I do? I can't breakup with her because I can't afford to see her hurt... she loves me so much.. now wer still on with our realtionships. I think I'm just pretending. Icant leave her because she told me she can't do it if ill be gone... please help me.. I need some advice... :(

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 26, 2008, 08:11 PM

If you don't love her, then leave her, she will get over it.

confused1145 · Jun 26, 2008, 08:23 PM

Don't stay with her out of pity, she will hurt more in the end. First, try to work out your problems, but if it doesn't help thean you need to move on.

xxrangerxx · Jun 26, 2008, 08:29 PM

This is a bad situation that doesn't need to be worse...

Staying out of "pity" doesn't do either of you good... especially her

talaniman · Jun 26, 2008, 08:42 PM

Hurt now, or hurt worse later. If you care, be honest, and do the right thing for you both.

JBeaucaire · Jun 26, 2008, 11:15 PM

Staying with her is doing her more harm. If you care that much about "not hurting her", then don't make the coming pain worse by wasting more of her time and letting her get even more attached to you. Care enough to end it now.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 26, 2008, 11:33 PM

Please do not repeat what others have already said.

simoneaugie · Jun 26, 2008, 11:35 PM

Your situation reminds me of a song by Seether called, "Driven Under."

You need to sit down with her and tell her the truth, gently. Take care.

Seeking Wisdom · Jun 27, 2008, 12:28 AM

I'm afraid to say I'd have to agree with everyone else. Sorry, for not being innovative! Holding on when you don't love her the same way will result in two main things:

(1) you are holding her back from meeting the person that she would be better with.. because she is with you
(2) you will eventually resent her because you feel trapped and that would make her hurt even more - not to mention how it will hurt you.

Relationships are not meant to be easy. Many people have been in this predicament but have and can move on. That's what growth is all about... experiencing all sorts of feelings, learning to get over it... it's character building. You cannot protect her forever.

Good luck.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 27, 2008, 12:40 AM

AK--I understand what you are saying. Agreeing is fine, but regurgitating what has already been said is really no help... besides what I said was not factually incorrect, you simply disagree with it. You've been here long enough to know that your reddie towards me was undeserved.

ylaira · Jun 27, 2008, 02:14 AM

Nothing else to say, everyone says the same thing. Just check out this link Guys Uncensored: The Dirty Truth About Dumping You - Cosmopolitan.com

crazyme · Jun 27, 2008, 04:48 AM

Thanks guys.. I guess I really need to tell her the truth.. I'm afraid and still confused bcoz maybe people and friends might think bad for me.. can this situation move on for new happy life?

N0help4u · Jun 27, 2008, 05:38 AM

You can't waste your life making somebody else happy when you are not.
On the other hand the grass is always greener until you get to the other side so
You really need to look at everything. What if the other girl isn't everything you expected and you realize how much you really did care about your girlfriend?

talaniman · Jun 27, 2008, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by crazyme

thanks guys.. i guess i really need to tell her the truth.. im afraid and still confused bcoz maybe people and friends might think bad for me.. can this situation move on for new happy life?

One thing for sure you can never move on until you have ended this. If you remember how this situation came about you can correct those mistakes and be a better person for it.
Doing the right thing may not make you popular to some, but you'll be glad you did in the long run.

Put yourself in her shoes, and figure how you would want to be treated in this situation, and do the same for her now. It may be rough but the dust will settle and you both can move on to something better.

crazyme · Jun 27, 2008, 07:57 AM

I have this feeling of being myself.. I want to be on my own.. I guess my feelings for this other girl is just "like", not love... it was like I want to escape from my responsibilities as a boyfriend to my girlfriend.. I want to escape with our relationships.. well, thanks a lot.. you guys helpd me a ot... I just need little time to be ready to tell her the truth.. can I ask advice? When will be the right time to tell her? Or how?

N0help4u · Jun 27, 2008, 07:59 AM

Sounds like you just want to be on your own no girlfriend at all. Maybe you and your girlfriend just need to give each other more 'me' time. Maybe going out with the guys once a month or once a week would solve the problem or getting involved in a project or hobby.

lovedoctor · Jun 27, 2008, 08:00 AM

crazyme,
You guys have a long relationship, but you are interested in someone else. If you don't want to hurt her that bad then you break up with her know, because she rather be broken up knowing the love died then knowing you are trying to get with someone else. Since it's a long relationship it'll hurt but shell make it, there is no easier to say this. If you have nothing for her anymore then you simply tell her because she's on a different page. If u don't break up with her soon shell just hurt even more

crazyme · Mar 9, 2010, 08:24 AM

Threads merged

Hi everyone! Here I am again.. I need your help guys.. :(
So here's my story... I have this girlfriend for almost 4 years.. the best thing I can describe her is she's so kind caring and loving... but there are times that I felt unhappy with her, I feel so trapped with her.. then I met her close friend or lets just say one of her bestfriends. I like her.. evrytime I'm with her I feel so happy. We make out with each other until the time I told her that I like her and she told me that she likes me too. Until I fell in love with her. My girlfriend don't know about me and her best friend. I know that its impossible that we can be together.. is it possible?. then I broke up with my girlfriend bcause our relationship is not growing anymore.. I told my girlfriend that I need time for myself. I want to be alone because I beliv that the more I stay with her the more shell get hurt.. right now I'm so confused becoz I still care(I can't be sure if I still love her.. or maybe I don't know what love is) for my girlfriend and I like her best friend so much too.. what should I do? :(

Kitkat22 · Mar 9, 2010, 08:49 AM

Does your ex girfriend know about you and her best friend? I think what you might be feeling for your ex's best friend is lust. At least you know you need time to think. Before you do make up your mind, think about the reprecussions of your actions.

If neither one of them want you what then ? I will say this about the so called best friend... I wouldn't want her as my friend.

chickie543 · Mar 9, 2010, 08:53 AM

Ok you need to let both go. You have already broken up with your girlfriend, which is a good thing because you've already cheated on her with her best friend. But you say...

Originally Posted by crazyme

i beliv that the more i stay with her the more shell get hurt..

If you try to date her best friend, it's going to hurt her even more. This poor girl has lost her boyfriend and best friend because they both aren't loyal or trustworthy and she doesn't even know it. I think you need to do a clean break from both.

IF you decide to date this "best friend" you're starting a relationship on a rocky ground, how are you ever suppose to trust each other?

Take this experience as a lesson, learn from it, and move on.