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Romefalls19 · Jun 11, 2008, 08:38 AM

Ha ha! I agree with you beautiful, I would be affected if a girl told me I was number 100... I think I would rush to the damn doctors right then, and some STD's don't show up for YEARS!

It's a matter of personal preference. She asked what we thought would be a high number in a year, and we gave our opinions. How are they wrong?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 11, 2008, 08:51 AM

Even if the person was completely clean I think you would still be affected emotionally.

AlwaysWriting · Jun 11, 2008, 10:51 AM

Nothing more than three sexual partners a year.

sokay · Jun 11, 2008, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by AlwaysWriting

Nothing more than three sexual partners a year.

This is an interesting discussion. Ok, I'm just using this one as an example.AW says no more than 3 a year, that doesn't sound too bad. So between the ages 18 and 36, 18 years have passed. If the person had 3 partners a year, that's 54 partners by the age of 36. Or if it's only 2 partners a year as someone else suggested then that's 36 partners by the age of 36. Someone else said that 50 partners by the age of 50 is too much. But there are 32 years between 18 and 50, so at 2 partners a year that adds up to 64 partners, and at three partners a year that adds up to 96 partners. Are they a slut then if they had sex exactly twice a year? Three times?

N0help4u · Jun 11, 2008, 06:25 PM

I really don't think there is some magical number you cross one day.
I think it is more an attitude. More what you answer to questions like why do I end up with one night stands, am I looking for someone special or just taking my chances with anybody that comes along. I think when you can regret being with some of the guys it is time to re-evaluating just who and what you are looking for.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 12, 2008, 05:38 AM

Originally Posted by sokay

This is an interesting discussion. Ok, I'm just using this one as an example.AW says no more than 3 a year, that doesn't sound too bad. So between the ages 18 and 36, 18 years have passed. If the person had 3 partners a year, that's 54 partners by the age of 36. Or if it's only 2 partners a year as someone else suggested then that's 36 partners by the age of 36. Someone else said that 50 partners by the age of 50 is too much. But there are 32 years between 18 and 50, so at 2 partners a year that adds up to 64 partners, and at three partners a year that adds up to 96 partners. Are they a slut then if they had sex exactly twice a year? three times?

We all have our opinions.
I believe 50 in a life time is WHOA, but that's because I believe sex should be between two people in love, not just a 'one night stand' and such.

You do in fact make a good point though. In the example you gave, I'm in between if that person is considered a 'slut.' Assuming that the person that had 64 partners from age 18-50 didn't love any of them, then yes that is going outside of my moralistic values. BUT in the case that they did, well that's a lot of loving :)

I would feel gross to know that I gave myself to 64 different men in my lifetime. I would rather give myself to someone that I love and plan to be with for awhile. Who knows though, I could fall in love 64 times.

Also, the number that you calculated was based on 32 years. What if the person decided to stop having sex (or found 'the one?') when they turned 30, 40? The number would decrease right? From 18-30 w/2 partners a year=24. From 18-40 w/2 partners a year=44. Those numbers can't compare to 64 or 96.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 12, 2008, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

I really don't think there is some magical number you cross one day.
I think it is more an attitude. More what you answer to questions like why do I end up with one night stands, am I looking for someone special or just taking my chances with anybody that comes along. I think when you can regret being with some of the guys it is time to re-evaluating just who and what you are looking for.

You are totally right N0help4u.

I don't have to answer any of those questions because I choose not to have anyone that 'comes along.' Some people have to.

bigbird213 · Jun 12, 2008, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by Synnen

And I'm just pointing out that ...so what? So what if they do? If they enjoy the sex, and don't want to be tied down to one person because of their education or their career or whatever---who cares?

So...if 50 is too many, regardless your age--how many is still okay? 10 at 21 years old? or 3 or 13 or what? What about at 50? is 10 okay at 50? or is 20 okay?

Honestly, I'm seeing this as another form of close-mindedness about the bedroom. As long as a person is safe and willing, what difference does it make?

I guess what my question then is, following in this, is that if a person absolutely refused to give you the number of people they've slept with, but could show you a clean bill of health--would you still be with them?

I follow your logic, however it is still the persons right to decide if it bothers them or not.

I don't think it's fair to call someone close-minded because they aren't comfortable being with someone who has been with so many people. They aren't judging the person, simply stating that they aren't comfortable with it.

It is no more wrong to say you aren't comfortable with it than it is to have a "large" number...

talaniman · Jun 12, 2008, 06:00 AM

So how many is a healthy number?

To each his own. If your healthy, and happy with yourself, that's all that counts.

Romefalls19 · Jun 12, 2008, 06:23 AM

I just don't see why Rome was attacked ha ha. All I said was it wouldn't be something I'm okay with being in a relationship with. That somehow got transferred into anyone who has kids, which then was proved false and yet no response from the accuser..

I agree, to each their own, I just wouldn't have a part of it if someone was in a high number.

Synnen · Jun 12, 2008, 07:13 AM

I didn't mean it to be an attack--apparently my "tone" was off all over the place yesterday. I apologize if anyone took it that way. I was just honestly curious--believe it or not, I LIKE to hear what the other side of a discussion has to say. It makes me think.

As far as not responding--I was just extremely busy, and hadn't gotten a chance to yet. Alhtough--you answered my questions, so honestly I don't have a lot to say at this point. I was really looking to understand the other point of view, and you've helped me do that.

Romefalls19 · Jun 12, 2008, 07:39 AM

Thanks Synnen, that means a lot to me. We all have our off days where what we mean to say comes off completely the wrong way we intended it to come off ha ha. I understand, I also like a healthy debate on the forums, gives me something to do during this long boring IT job I'm at right now ha ha

bigbird213 · Jun 12, 2008, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

long boring IT job im at right now ha ha

Agreed...

I'm starting to think a lot of people here work in IT...

rodandy12 · Jun 12, 2008, 08:38 AM

What an interesting discussion! It is squarely in that space between human desire and moral responsibility. I have a psychologist friend who defines levels of insanity as the space between what we are and what we think we are. If the space is too wide, we are nuts. The US has a problem here. It really is a lusty place, but we claim that we are one of the most moral nations in the world so we don't want to push the question.

I don't think much of the rest of the world would be having this discussion. Aside from the std issues, few people outside the US would care how many partners anyone had.

(There is a great scene in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" where the male character and the female character get into a discussion of past lovers. He considers himself a stud until she starts enumerating her experience.)

But, to provide some data against the original question, I did an internet search. Here's what I found from a US survey:

Total Number of Sex Partners
Average Median
All 13 5
Men 20 8
Women 6 3

Total Number of Sex Partners
All Men Women
One 19% 12 25
2-4 25 16 33
5-10 28 26 29
11-20 12 18 6
21+ 12 20 4

I don't believe I'd trust the numbers, but the trends are interesting. Most women "claim" to be below the "both hands" number... ~85% Only 10% of women "claim" to have had more than two hands. Men on the other hand average four hands.

This is fascinating. Given that there are around the same number of males as females, that top 10 % of women must be getting some workout.

Romefalls19 · Jun 12, 2008, 08:48 AM

BB yea the job of IT can be describe as this. If it's slow, it's dead slow... If it's busy, it's freaking crazy!

starlite1 · Jun 12, 2008, 11:32 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

BB yea the job of IT can be describe as this. If it's slow, it's dead slow...If it's busy, it's freaking crazy!

I'm in IT as well. You are all so right, when it's busy, oh man it's busy, when it's slow, it's slow LOL!

keely123 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:43 PM

I don't have the word 'slut' in my vocabulary and haven't since I was 16. What I call people you have a healthy sex life is normal. I could count the guys on both hands as to I have been with. I do regret some so does everyone but as long as you feel that all you have is healthy sex life there is not anything wrong with a strong sexual drive. It is there to enjoy.

bigbird213 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

BB yea the job of IT can be describe as this. If it's slow, it's dead slow...If it's busy, it's freaking crazy!

I hear that... I was bored this morning... Just got done running around for the last 4 hours :(

keely123 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

We all have our opinions.
I believe 50 in a life time is WHOA, but that's because I believe sex should be between two people in love, not just a 'one night stand' and such.

You do infact make a good point though. In the example you gave, I'm in between if that person is considered a 'slut.' Assuming that the person that had 64 partners from age 18-50 didn't love any of them, then yes that is going outside of my moralistic values. BUT in the case that they did, well that's a lot of loving :)

I would feel gross to know that I gave myself to 64 different men in my lifetime. I would rather give myself to someone that I love and plan to be with for awhile. Who knows though, I could fall in love 64 times.

Also, the number that you calculated was based on 32 years. What if the person decided to stop having sex (or found 'the one?') when they turned 30, 40? The number would decrease right? From 18-30 w/2 partners a year=24. From 18-40 w/2 partners a year=44. Those numbers can't compare to 64 or 96.

I have just one question for you. Do you think people don't have sex after 50? Because when you keep going after 40 us when you get to 64 and higher.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Jun 12, 2008, 12:53 PM

Originally Posted by keely123

I have just one question for you. Do you think people don't have sex after 50? Because when you keep going after 40 us when you get to 64 and higher.

I said WHAT IF the person decided to stop having sex w/x amount of men after 30 or 40 and just find one person.

I sure hope I don't stop at 50 :)