[iamtheone69]

Here's the story, I dated this girl for about 8 months my senior year in high school. I'm pretty sure I was in love with her. She what I would consider very high maintenance, she is very beautiful, guys want to date her, girls want to be her. For a long time I was in control of the relationship, eventually that changed when I became obsessive and angry at her when she wouldn't answer my calls when she was with her friends, and I was also somewhat of an to her. I know she cared a lot about me because she has a commitment problem, and she hasn't dated anyone near as long. When we broke up, I tried what every guy does- begging, and "I've done something wrong and can fix it in a week, it originally was "take a break." and I know that when a woman says take a break she means Don't talk to her. But still I felt like I could fix it quickly. After a while I realized it wasn't going to be easy and I gave her her space. Eventually we started trying to work it out, and she was serious about it, but it wasn't the same because she was still playing games with me, which is something I thought we were past. I told her that I didn't want a girlfriend anymore and that she was holding me back. (Which wasn't the truth, I really wanted her more than anything) She didn't ask any questions, she just accepted it. We didn't talk for a solid month and then I saw her with her X- boyfriend one day. I called her soon after that, and met her at the beach one day. She admitted that our relationship hadn't had much closure, and then I made it clear that I wanted her back. She said that it wouldn't work because I was going to college and she just didn't want a boyfriend. Now I thought that college was going to make me get over her, but It hasn't. I know I'm a good looking guy, because I hear it all the time. I saw many great looking girls, but I didn't really look because I just wasn't interested. After a few months I had accepted the breakup and it no longer bothered me, she was dating some other guy, a guy who used girls, which actually made me lose respect for her. With the exception of texting or talking on the computer once every two months we didn't talk. I texted her on her birthday, which happens to be the day before mine. I was surprised to not get a response. But the next day she actually called me to tell me happy birthday. I was friendly but I feel now like I rushed her off the phone. A month later I was on my spring break and I went to a local club and saw most of my friends. As soon as I walked in everyone rushed to shake my hand and see how I was doing, I was dumbfounded to look to the right and see her 5 feet away. That night a beautiful girl was trying to dance with me all over the club. I'm not sure if she saw this but I don't see how she couldn't have. (She had just broken up with her boyfriend by the way) She came up to me later that night, and asked how I was doing and told me to get up with her sometime. I said OK but didn't think I would. One day I spoke to her on Aim and she told me to go see her at UNC because she would be visiting her sister. I told her I would think about it. But I never got up with her. One day I texted her on my way home from school for the weekend, and she asked me to go see her that night, but I had something to do already. About 3 weeks later I called her, and talked to her on the phone for an hour, and asked her to go to eat the next day. She told me she might be busy and would let me know the next day. She texted me the next day and told me that she was busy, but that I should call her when I got home for the summer. She texted me ac ouple of days later and asked me how exams were, then texted me a couple of days later from a concert. I felt like she was giving me enough signs so I called her again a couple of days later. We talked on the phone for a little while, and she said that she and I should go to sometype of concert. I told her that we would. When we hung up I told her I would call her when I came home. The day after I got home I called her and she didn't answer, nor did she call me back. I texted her a couple of days later, and she said that we should get lunch sometime after I told her that I said maybe ill see you sometime. (It seems to me that at the begginning, she was trying to see if she could get me back) anyway I called her one night and I in a friendly way confronted her about her (playing games) which she didn't deny. But without telling her how I feel, she said she would try harder. I called her a couple of nights later and she didn't answer the phone, nor call me back, but she did text me the next day telling me to call her if I came to the beach, which was where she was for the weekend. I didn't tell her, but I had had plans to go already, I texted her when I got down there. She didn't reply nor get back up with me for three days, I called her tonight and she didn't answer the phone or call me back (WHAT IS GOING ON?) here is my analysis, I think she feels like I'm an important part of her life, and that there is a certain comfort in knowing that I'm there for her, but who knows maybe she is just dangling me on a string, maybe she is confused, maybe she wants to get back together but just doesn't know what I'm thinking? I don't understand why a girl would say she is going to try harder, and then pull a stunt like this. I don't understand why a girl will ask you to call her and then not answer the phone. Haha, its funny how men can't understand women if there is anyone out there that can help me here id deeply appreciate it
P.S. Sorry about the novel, I just wanted to get most of the facts in. we've been broken up a year

[amcasbur]

My honest and blunt opinion is that she is using you as a crutch. You're the guy she can always come back to if she needs support or company, but you will not get the commitment you're looking for from her. She only calls you when it is convenient for her and when the time comes to actually follow through she can't be counted upon. I would advise you to possibly write her an email to explain how you feel and see if she will write back to you. If she doesn't get back to you within two weeks I would say move on with your life, do something that is purely for your happiness instead of worrying about what happened in the past. If she does respond to your message note if she has actually read the message: Does she empathise with your feelings? Does she acknowledge your feelings? Does she affirm what she intends to do to resolve these issues? In her letter also note whether she writes about you and your feelings or is she more self-interested? This will give you a good outlook on the type of person she is and whether she is the type of person you would like to make your best friend. Lastly see if she can follow through with plans on a long term basis? Last minute cancellations shouldn't be tolerated all the time. Once in a while but not all the time.

[ladieedee21]

Some chickss act like this.. Im a girl... This is what happens.. We act like we don't wantt you and we wait for you to come to us. We like that. Though you got to c.. if the chick shows she mad seriuos she don't want you.. walkk away.. butt if you have signss that she does... then do your move...
lol
us girlss we likee that,
to me.. I don't understand this chick.. do you love her?/
if you do I think you should try to get heer if you think and want her...
butt if you don't love her.. move on.. find someone who would love you! And would never leave you alone.
I knoww you cann!
=]]

[ladieedee21]

And ohh yaii... snice you good lookinqq..
Then there is no problemm..
You soundd you are not a player and know how 2 treat chicks
You call whenver they tell you to call... so great!
Your going to do finee~!
Life is too shortt.. live itt... forgivee... nd move on

[iamtheone69]

Haha oh yeah I know I don't think she understands herself, well I'm just going to let it play out, if she cares if enough she'll stop confusing me and make it clear

[talaniman]

maybe she is confused, maybe she wants to get back together but just doesn't know what I'm thinking?

She is not confused in the least, you are. She is living her life, and doing exactly what she wants, and your trying to get reconnected. To bad she isn't helping you reconnect. Are we getting a clear picture of actions speak louder than words. Back off, and find something else to focus on.

[iamtheone69]

I appreciate that, that's what I'm doing. I'm not trying to get over her. I'm doing what I want when I want, but I feel like it doesn't hurt to keep in touch with her. I'll make my decision when I have more information.