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Mommy2be2008 · May 16, 2008, 07:37 AM

Hi,

Im not really sure where to begin or what to say but im married right now and im pregnant by him and all he has done is cheat on me and lie to me and a few times got pyshical with me.I am pregnant with our first kid but I want to get a divorce im scared to cause I dont know how he will react but when I get the divorce I dont want him to have any parental rights after the hell hes put me through.A couple weeks ago he said that he hopes the baby does before its born or when it is born he hope our baby dont make it.I cry every day cause im hurting so bad inside.I just dont know what to do can anyone help me?

ScottGem · May 16, 2008, 07:40 AM

Do you have documentation of physical abuse? Of the threats? A court is unlikely to terminate parental rights unless there is someone waiting to adopt or because he's a danger to the child. If you can prove the abuse you might get it on the second point.

I would strongly recommend you get a divorce lawyer and/or consult a support group for abused women to get help planning your next move.

chela717 · May 16, 2008, 07:44 AM

I definetely thing you should get a divorce ASAP as for the baby DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE nor give the baby his last name its much easier for him to have rights if he is on the BC if he isn't. From what it sounds like he won't be bending over backwards trying to get himself on there anyway. Lift yourself esteem your too good for him any man who hits or physically or emotionally abuses his wife is NO MAN AT ALL.

Mommy2be2008 · May 16, 2008, 07:50 AM

No I don't have documentation cause I was scared to report it to the police.I don't want him having any rights at all.He tells me daily that I'm a and I'm stupid and he hates me and he don't love me and then 10 minutes later he turns around and apologizes.

JudyKayTee · May 16, 2008, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by chela717

I definetely thing you should get a divorce ASAP as for the baby DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE nor give the baby his last name its much easier for him to have rights if he is on the BC if he isnt. From what it sounds like he wont be bending over backwards trying to get himself on there anyways. Lift up your self esteem your too good for him any man who hits or physically or emotionally abuses his wife is NO MAN AT ALL.

In many States the husband is presumed to be the father unless/until there is another finding of paternity so this may not be an option.

The Court - again, in many States - will not entertain a divorce while you are pregnant. You must wait until the baby is born.

As far as the abuse - document it, go to the Police, get a protective order. Find a support group. Get away from him.

Mommy2be2008 · May 16, 2008, 08:03 AM

All your advice has been good I need all the advice I can get.Im 19 and married and confused as hell right now

ScottGem · May 16, 2008, 08:04 AM

Without documentation you will have a hard time denying him his parental rights. You absolutely NEED to consult an attorney or get help from an abused spouse support group.

JudyKayTee · May 16, 2008, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by Mommy2be2008

All your advice has been good i need all the advice i can get.Im 19 and married and confused as hell right now

Sure, and I'm sure your hormones are running high so it's difficult to make a life changing decision.

If you don't think you want a divorce right now you should get some legal advice AND find someone to talk to - a friend, a relative. Someone who won't judge, who will listen to you.

If the situation is dangerous, if he is abusive, then you have to protect yourself and be safe and also protect your baby and an Attorney can tell you the best way to do that.

Come back and let us know how it's working out, okay?