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New Member
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Jun 29, 2009, 09:44 PM
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Strong Attraction
I met this Guy and started to make out with him on the first date. It has been three weeks since we have been seeing each other; however it seems as if he can not keep his hand off me. We have been making out big time! The Attraction is there however he wants to be just friends now because he can not control himself. We talk everyday how we are only able to see each other maybe once a week due to our heavy schedules. What did I do wrong with this man that keeps him from wanting to be my lover to just wanting to be friends?
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New Member
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Jun 29, 2009, 09:59 PM
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Did you initiate the kissing? So he is aware that he has trouble controlling himself?
Are you serious abuot a relationship with him?
Are you both after the same sort of relationship?
I think these are some questions you should ask yourself
Maby he is trying to make a smart decision so things don't get rushed.
Tone down the making out and just be there for him!
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New Member
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Jun 29, 2009, 10:28 PM
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No, he initiated the Kissing. I am not sure I am serious about the relationship at this time. But I am slowing falling for him. Yes, we both are looking for the same things in a relationship. He is very kind and sweet too me it like neither one of us can get enough of each other. Maybe it is because we do not see each other but once a week. We speak over the phone at least twice a day. He says I am the one but yet he and I both know we have no room for a relationship at this point in our lives. I can accept being his friend; however he feels it is best we continue to talk over the phone or meet in public places. I have never met a man like him before. The most amazing thing is that we both come from two different worlds. I am American and he is Not.
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New Member
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Jun 29, 2009, 11:35 PM
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Well I think you'll do fine. When I started dating my girlfriend, we only saw each other once a fortnight. Time has passed and after many LONG phone calls and plenty of time spent together as well, we're getting married!
Lol, I'm not assuming you have thought that far ahead though and I like that you're not going in to serious relationship mode straight away.
What I'm getting at is if you persevere thing usually work out fine.:)
(I hope I'm getting the right idea out of your Qu's)
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New Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 04:41 AM
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Thank you, so much for all your Advice. You made some very good points. I really appreciate the input.
Thanks, again
WDTshort
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Family & People Expert
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Jun 30, 2009, 06:07 AM
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It sounds like he just wants a "friends with benefits" thing. Just slow the physical stuff down and get to know each other better.
That will give you a better idea of how he feels about you.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 06:31 AM
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He wants sex. No strings attached.
If he wanted more with you (which he doesn't) he'd be trying to do more with you than making out.
But he doesn't. You're a goal for him.
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New Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 07:39 AM
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To Nikosmom,
We have been going out Dinner, parks, and events. I do not believe it is just a sex thing or making out. We both have agreed to take it slow and focus on the Friendship part. But it is so hard for him to not want that from me. I have rejected him serveral times. We both have Great Conservation when talking as well as a lot in common. He makes me laugh and he enjoys my humor. I think the Attraction is so strong and it has been a long time for us both.
Thanks for your input,
WDTShort
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New Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 07:42 AM
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To I Wish,
Thank you so much for your advice! I am going to Try to take it slow and see what happens. We have agreed to just be friends and slow the physical part down by meeting in public places only. Not having dinner at my house or his.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by wdtshort
I met this Guy and started to make out with him on the first date. It has been three weeks since we have been seeing each other; however it seems as if he can not keep his hand off me. We have been making out big time! The Attraction is there however he wants to be just friends now because he can not control him self. We talk everyday how we are only able to see each other maybe once a week due to our heavy schedules. What did I do wrong with this man that keeps him from wanting to be my lover to just wanting to be friends?
Your own words:
He wants to just be friends.
You started to make out with him on the first date.
He can not control himself.
He can not keeps his hands off me.
That's his way of telling you he doesn't want a relationship. Making out with him piquéd his [sexual] curiosity about you.
You say you're taking it slow and focusing on the friendship but in your original question, you stated he didn't want anything beyond friends. You sound like you want more from him which he has made apparent will not happen.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by wdtshort
We have agreed to just be friends and slow the physical part down by meeting in public places only. Not having dinner at my house or his.
This sounds like a good idea
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New Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 08:02 AM
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To Nikosman,
Yes, he wants to be friends. Because he finds we have a lot in common. It was not me that started with it all. He likes me a lot. No, I do not want a relationship just friends. He does not want to lose me as a Friend. And he just wants to be friend because I wanted to end it and not see him anymore if he was going to be so clinging in a sexual way. Sorry I did not provide that information to you before. Of course it is nice to make out here and there but having sex with someone I do not know is a little too much for me. And it's not that neither one of US would not like a relationship it's because I schedules are Very business and neither of US have time for a relationship at this point in our lives. Friendship is better.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 08:11 AM
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Well then what's the problem because your original question was "What did I do wrong with this man that keeps him from wanting to be my lover to just wanting to be friends?"
Now you say you only want friends.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 30, 2009, 08:16 AM
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Well as long as you aren't lost with your stories, then I don't understand the question.
He wants friends, you want friends... case solved.
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