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    whatsgoingon's Avatar
    whatsgoingon Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 18, 2008, 04:47 PM
    I think my mother is a cleptomaniac
    I am a very worried 32 year old woman & I believe my mother may be suffering from cleptomania. Last year she was fired from her job in a supermarket for stealing over €3500 worth of food over a period of six months or more. She had previously been sacked from another job for stealing loose change from the till. I insisted she go to her doctor after the 3k incident as I could see no reason for her doing this as money is not an issue at home. Her GP put her on antidepressants & for while she seemed OK but I wanted her to go for therapy, so far she has only gone for two sessions & won't go for anymore as she claims she does not have the money which is not the case. Also for as long as I can remember she loved to shop & she would impulsively buy something she didn't need just for the buzz of having something new. She also talks about money a lot. And now today she was caught stealing four magazines to the value of €10 & she had her 15 month old grandaughter with her at the time. I am at a complete loss as to what to do help her as when I ask her why she's doing this she says she does not know why which frustrates me & makes me very angry as she keeps doing it local shops where everyone knows her & the family & it seems she is only remorseful about being caught & not the actual stealing. Any advice? Really have no idea what to do for her
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Apr 18, 2008, 04:59 PM
    Whie not an expert at all, but her not felling sorry, normally a cleptomaniac does not even remember stealing it, but the ones that get caught, are always so sorry, since they are not normally like this.
    While perhaps she is, the other thought is that she does not want to pay for these things and does not really care if she steals them or not.
    Sorry but that is a choice also, in that she is not sorry she steals, A person who does not think stealing is wrong has a lot more issues, since even a cleptomanic believes stealing is wrong they just do it anyway

    But you can't make her go to the doctor ( at least in the US, which I can tell you are not) But talk to her doctor and see if they can recommend any forced treatment
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Apr 18, 2008, 07:18 PM
    I agree with Fr_Chuck a cleptomaniac is more of a compulsive stealer. Your moms stealing sounds more like an intentional, thought out plan. Of course she is going to tell you otherwise.
    shellyjo68's Avatar
    shellyjo68 Posts: 100, Reputation: 11
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    #4

    Apr 18, 2008, 07:56 PM
    In my opinion you need to treat Mom's stealing the same as any other addiction. Just as you would not ride in a car with an alcoholic do not go to the store with your mother nor let your children. Be honast, but not accusing, as to why. Do not hound her with questions or accusations but do be straight forward. "The manager saw you steal that. He has no reason to lie to me. When you are ready for help I will be there for you." Feel free to ask her about her progress but expect her to lie to you. If she is caught in a lie tell her. Also, do not make it the subject of every conversation.
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