[friend4u178]

I went 2 months of NC with my ex of 2 years, i initiated it tho. because i smacked him in the face :] [[[LOOOONNG STORY]]]] but yeah 2 months, and lets say a couple days after that tho. Then suddenly out of NOWHERE i see a note, for me, by him. he says he wants to talk again, but doesnt want to be with me. [[[[that was about a month ago]]]] and lol, even though he claimed he didnt want to be with me [[[[for the sake of being a macho guy and not showing emotions]]]] we got back together. its funny how love is, the minute you're ready to walk out, they come strolling back in. but im happy, he's happy, we're happy. and i guess thats all that matters :]

I'm glad it all worked out for you lost.

[len21]

Day 4 of total n/c for me, anyway last night I went out on a date with a guy that I was kind of seeing about 2 years ago, I know I should proably wait a bit but it was great we get on really well and we just have fun together... it ended with a small pec and him saying he would really like us to hang out a bit more, he knows I don't want anything right now cuase it has only been 3 months since me and my ex broke up. But it is so encouraging to actually feel something for someone else even if it is only a small something... yay!

[losingit77]

Day 12 of NC. Why does it suddenly start getting harder and harder? I guess the reality is kicking in. I want to call him so bad and say "we can work this out"! But how many times can you say the same thing over and over to a person? No chance of me contacting him. I've just turned it into my goal. I'm not breaking before he does. My goal is 35 days... for now. Once I reach 35 days I guess I can just keep going forever.

I wish he would call so I could at least know that he's thinking of me. And also I want him to call so I can NOT answer and feel like I got a little more power back. Well, after the last time we met (12 days ago), I told him not to call me and that I would call him when I felt I was ready so I guess he's respecting my wish in that respect.

Its just hard to get it in my head that after 4 years together, he's no longer part of my life. : (

[chuff]

Well I guess she broke NC tonight. I was walking to my office and she was sitting on a bench outside. I didn't see her and she said, "are you working this weekend, Mr. Chuffington?" I, like a tool, walked right up to her, at which point I realized I had just walked up to her and must look like a tool for giving her that power so I said, "no I have the whole weekend off", and walked away. She wished me a good weekend and I assured her I would have one and left it at that.

[losingit77]

Well, had 3 drinks tonight with friends and its amazing how the only thing alcohol seems to do is make you think more and more about the love you lost. All I could think about was talking to him again and saying "I understand what you're saying, we can work this out"... I was so close to calling him but didn't. Thank God! There's nothing else I can say to him. I can't change his mind. The more I say, the more I just push him away. Oh, well. At least I've maintained NC for yet another day. Day 13 here I come. Just missing him way too much. And its only been 13 days...

[chuff]

Well I return again with a NC update. Due to somebody not showing up for their shift this evening I had to tough it out until 3 am. Across the street there is several bars and low and behold she is over there and she is drunk. Several people who work in my building are screaming at me to be funny and she screams "I love you." I pretend not hear her, and then she says "I thought you didn't have to work tonight?" to which I told her why I was here. She then says, I called you, why didn't you answer?" I said, "when?" and she says earlier. So I go and look and sure enough she had called a couple times.

So I called her back and she answers the phone by saying "Why don't you call me anymore?" I pointed out that she was the last one who told me she missed me and was going to call me that night, which never happened. She then said, I wish you told us you were working, you could have let us in the building to park for free (I have the highly sought after parking access card that she does not). I then said, "Yeah the last time I got hit with that scam I was told I was getting lunch, which I never got." Her immediate reply "What do you want from Subway?"

So a little more of this nonsense and finally she says flicks me off (mind you she is across the street and I can see her while talking to her) laughs and says, I just flicked you off, to which I said very arrogantly "but I still love you." I think I want to stress this to those reading this, I wasn't a wimp about it, I said it more like with the tone, "you had to resort to the finger and I went the high road." It was a huge gamble because even just writing it down here I see how this could have backfired on me. However..........

the next words out of her mouth were "If you want, you can call me and we can hang out some time." Now I made a huge mistake here because I said, "we could probably do that" instead of demanding she call me when she's sober. Stupid move on my part but I have to share it so others can learn from it. But the good news was she repeated this statement 3 or 4 more times that we could do something. She seemed to want to make it clear.

The last time I talked to her a few weeks ago she picked up her cell phone in my mid sentence and called somebody else at which point I walked away. So I told her that if she wants to talk to me I'm going to start holding her to what she says and said, "you understand that, no more calling other people when you've got my time?" She said "yes"

Unfortunately, she got the last word as she said, "I've got to get back to my friends so I've got to get going," which pissed me off because I was about to end the call myself so she got me there.

I don't think I won the fight but I think I won this round.

My plan now is to NOT call her this weekend and then call her on Monday and ask "Will you be providing a drink with my lunch?" and see what her response is. But let me turn this over to some of you... I'd be curious if you think I should not call at all and just expect my lunch to arrive.

[talaniman]

I would expect nothing, as drunks are notorius for forgeting what they said, let alone any promise they made.

[losingit77]

Chuff - Don't even mention it. If you do, you'll be giving her all the power cause she'll know that you've been thinking about it since she said it. If she does even remember asking you that and then you don't ever even mention it, it'll make her wonder why you never brought it up again.

Agh, Day 13 and now the constant dreams are coming through every night. Dreams of him. So many urges to call him, but then I remember myself what's the point. Either (1) he won't answer or respond and I'll be more miserable and have taken 20 steps back or (2) I'll call him and be all sad and whiny which will only serve to push him more away or (3) I'll call him and try to act happy and fine but he'll still know that I'm still waiting here thinking about him and he'll think he has me right where he wants me...

I know letting go is best, but I can't lie.. I want him to come back to me. I know we can work this out if we both want it.

Well, hopefully if I continue to act like I'm moving on, maybe one day I will feel like I have actually moved on.

[nickshehe]

losingit77, I go through the same jazz every day.. I know we can work things out e.t.c e.t.c e.t.c
But then I just stop and think "okay she doesn't want to be with me..boo-hoo" It sucks and its hard and I want to hear her voice more than ever.. but she's at a different place now and she doesn't want me..
We can't keep dwelling on it.

[losingit77]

Thanks, nickshehe. You're right. Every time I start to think "we can work this out"... I remind myself that he lost the option of working things out now. If he wanted to work things out, he would come to me, he knows where I am. I'm not chasing after someone who's only going to keep running farther and farther away. Whatever. Just keep reminding myself that one day one of us will see the light and come to realize that at least one of us made the right decision here. Don't know yet if that right decision is (1) working things out, or (2) breaking up and walking away... but one of those has to be the right answer and with time the right answer will show itself. All I can do know is to keep walking away...

[nickshehe]

My ex contacted me on msn again today... she said hi... I dno what to do its been 3 weeks she's been trying to talk to me every 2-3 days and I don't reply.. she isn't stupid I'm sure she knows I'm ignoring her :/
What's going on?
I know if she ha dsomething important to say she would call or something... should I tell her to stop talking to me or what?

[talaniman]

She will eventually get the message on her own. Stay no contact.

[nickshehe]

Its somewhat refreshing to see her weak... I see her as being quite pathetic at times.. I mean she leaves me in the most horrible way, out of the blue, as if she was 14 years old or something( no offense to our younger members ).. and now its been three weeks she keeps trying to talk to me..
I don't extract any reason behind it.. I know she's probably just bored or trying to keep the leash close to her, but even so..

.. Im also wondering what happens if I ever bump into her.. if I've ignored her for so long I can't just be like hey what's up :/

[losingit77]

Agh! Would have been Day 13 of NC until my phone rang and its my ex and like an idiot and weakling I'm way too eager to answer. So we're chatting and again start discussing the break-up and we wind up meeting for dinner and again discuss the break-up and of course, NOTHING has changed. I want to stay together and be there for each other and he "can't be in a relationship right now". I say, "how can you give me up forever?"... He says, "I can't even understand the concept of 'forever'"... AGAIN, a tearful goodbye. After I leave, he texts... "I love you. You're an amazing woman. You don't deserve this. I'm so sorry for this. You haven't done anything wrong. Its just what I feel I need to do for me".

Why!! Why do I do this to myself? At least I know he's somewhat as sad as I am and he hasn't been partying it up the past 2 weeks. He says other than work, he's been doing nothing. Well, back to NC. Except this time with a vengeance and this time FOREVER!! Now, I'm unbearably sad again.

[nickshehe]

<3
I'm slightly under the influence of alcohol but I want you to know that I love you all :/
Honestly.
You're awesome

[srulik86]

Well I went 3 weeks no contact... then she text me to say goodluck for my show... in which she was a week late. I went to a party lst night where her friends were and I wa stalking to them and they kept casually talking about her... ive realised no contact also means spekaing to their friends... coz now I feel rough again and down. And what's worse is I have to see her around college tomorrow for the first time in 4 weeks.. oh joy!

[nickshehe]

Hang in there srulik... you lasted 3 weeks no contact don't ruin it.

p.s sorry about the drunk post : >

[srulik86]

Haha thanks nick. I stupidly replied to her text... quite coldly on Wednesday which I kind of regret now. But as long as I stay strong the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow should be interesting!

[Nicole0425]

So, found out he went out to dinner with this girl. This girl who he never even liked as a friend before. But she's always had a thing for him.

Ugh. Whatever. It's only been one month. We were together 4 years. I don't see how he can move on so fast. It really freaking hurt me.

But I didn't break contact. I was cried for hours but he'll never know how bad it hurts. Ever. He will not see me hurt, he will not know he has any power over me. Ever again.

And I hope it's just a stupid rebound. And I hope he realizes just what he gave up. And not because I want him, but because I'm a great girl and a fantastic person.

He will never have me again. Ever. And I hope he regrets it. But I'll never EVER break down to find out.

[DazT]

Haha, my goodness. What a night I had. Was in a nighclub with lots of hot girls, most of my mates, great night. Get a phonecall after the club was over, it was my ex's sister. She's inviting me to her houseparty, promising me that my ex isn't there..

So I go to the houseparty, have a good time (very drunk).. slept in my ex's bed lol (nowhere else to sleep).. and one of my friends come into the room. In her room there were a few pictures up of her and me still.. but she had a lot of pictures of herself and this new fella.. so I says to my friend, "look at all these pictures of her and this new fella" and he starts to rip all the pictures off her bedroom wall and rips them to shreds!

I was annoyed with my friend for doing that but I fell asleep soon after, went home early the next morning and didn't remember about the photos until a few hours ago when I get a text from my ex saying, "What the $$$$ did you do to my pictures!", I responded.. "I don't know what you're on about, I'm over you so why would I even want to touch your photos?".. I get a reply, "Then why is all the pictures with me and other boys gone? Did Martin take them?", so I replied "I don't know but I swear to God I didn't touch them, now can you please stop texting me?"..

She replies, "Well I want money for the pictures so I can get them done again and stop acting like a $$$$$$, do you really think I want to be texting you?", so I said.. "I understand why you'd think it was me but it wasn't so I don't have to pay you anything. Well then please don't text me any more"..

And it was left like that. Do you think I dealt with the situation okay?