[losingit77]

Ha! You're so right. "If you can walk away from us, I can walk away from you!" I'm going to keep reminding myself. Yeah, my ex-bf is like "I love you, I will always love you, I want you to call me whenever you need someone to talk to...someone who knows you..someone who loves you"... ha, how could I do that? Call the person that walked away from me? He should be worrying about who he's going to call now when he needs someone!

Day 10 NC. Sad, but OK. No chance of breaking NC. I set a goal for myself. 5 weeks! We've never gone longer than 2 1/2 weeks without speaking in 4 years so that should really put the hurt on. Well, 3 1/2 weeks to go! Hopefully, by then I won't care so much anymore. I know you shouldn't put a time limit on NC, but in these early days, a goal is the only thing that keeps me sane and not so sad.

[len21]

Day 4... so horrible just saw something on a friends Facebook about him scoring a girl on the weekend. Feel horrible and sick all at the same time, it hurts so bad to imagine him kissing someone else. But I know I can't judge him I have been out on a few dates and kissed another guy. Its weird though I don't think I should do much more dating cause I just think about him when I am with someone else. I hope secretley he does the same... man this sux:-(

[losingit77]

Len21 - Definitely don't check the facebook/msn/myspace... any of that. Trust me! It will only hurt so much more. Not worrying about that stuff makes it so much easier. Years ago, I broke up with a boyfriend and spent months "checking" up on him (ie. Phone records cause the bills were still coming to my house, myspace pages, etc.). All it did was make things 100xs worse.. and I was just doing it to myself. Now, I have zero contact with my current ex, zero contact with anything to do with his "world" and it really makes the separation sooooo much easier. I'm not going to spend my time focusing on what he may or may not be doing. Just focus on what I can control and that's myself and my own actions.

The way I look at, anything he does after you've broken up is no reflection on you. So don't worry about it. Like you said, you've kissed other guys, and its still no reflection on how you feel about him.

I'm also going to try to hold off on dating for a while because the thought of it just makes me think more about him and only makes it harder.

[canefan1012]

I am on day 51 of NC with the Ex Girlfriend and we have been broken up for about 2 1/2 months

[belightingguy]

I am on day 2 of no contact and this sucks so bad. I'm so hurt over everything that happened. I just don't get it. I fought for my gal over and over throughout our relationship (about a year and a half), and never gave up on her. I just feel so betrayed.. I was so committed to her, and yet she could just walk away and not look back. It frickin' kills. I love her so much, and the last time I talked to her she said she still loves me too, but that we won't ever be together again. Everyday since we broke up (about a week and a half now) I get off work and just come home and cry. I'm so heartbroken. And I'm so tired of being sad, but I just can't help it. We were each other's support, and that is lost now. God I want to be better, but I don't see it happening any time soon.

[jpm247]

Day 42 of NC 2nd time around ( with a minor run in on Monday the only bl, but I'm not counting that as it was an accident, and lasted about 15 seconds! )

If I look back on how I feel at christmas time when this crap all started compared to now, I'm miles better. I know that this is not going to be a quickly resolved pain, but from reding the other posts on this topic I know it will fade in time.

I get annoyed when I think of her now, as it really sucks to get dumped, but its her loss, as she will never find another me, so she can get on with it.

Just try and keep as busy as you can, when you busy doing an activity especially a physical one, it puts the thoughts of the ex out of the mind, for a while at least, and that's the goal.

Focus on what you can control, and let them go and get on with their decision.

Well done Canefan for getting to day 51, and belight, I couldn't eat or barely sleep on day two of NC, so if you can eat, your doing better than I was,

And now I'm on that road to recovery, just hope I don't have any more run ins with the ex, but it's a small town, and I'll be strong again if it happens again.

Keep going all

JPM

[nickshehe]

There's been an update in my no contact... last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago when the last thing she said on msn was "are you ignoring me on purpose?" on which I didn't reply.. and then a couple of days later I found she blocked me..
About 15 minutes ago she tried to send me a song on msn.. I didn't say anything I just accepted.. and like 3 seconds into it I'm like " am I doing?" and I went offline, and back online.. hoping that she thinks maybe I got disconnected or something and didn't accept...
But I guess it shouldn't matter what she thinks as long as I didn't speak to her right??

I showed her I was there I kind of feel I showed weakness in some sense?
Reassurance . :/

[jpm247]

Are you ignoring me on purpose?

Tough one, but essentially you are. Your ignoring her for your own good.

As far as receiving the song, I would have been inclined to reject it, as you did in the end.

Your still in the early days of NC really, so your bound to be a bit confused if she's sending you things when your both online.

~I wouldn't say it was weakness and you aren't there for her anymore.

Your doing well, but if possible id avoid putting yourself in situations where you can interact for now, such as msn.

My ex wanted me to be afriend on Facebook but I ignored her request. She has no right to see what I'm up too, and I sure as hell don't want any contact with her, though there will always be a part of me that does, if that makes sense.

Keep going with the NC, but try and stay away from situations that you can control such as chatting on MSN.

[nickshehe]

I just figured I don't want to block her from msn and Facebook.. I always considered it kind of lame in that sense.. and the truth of the matter is my Facebook is blooming as opposed to hers that's dead, so I want her to see that I'm getting on.. though I don't really care if she doesn't see...

It just annoys me how she dumps me but now she wants my attention.
I wish she would leave me alone

[talaniman]

I wish she would leave me alone

It starts with you leaving her alone, until she gets the message.

[nickshehe]

It sucks because part of me wants her to keep trying.. like.. it would hurt if she just stopped talking to me even though the NC thing was my call so I could heal or get away or whatever..
Whatever the case this sucks I guess..
Oh well.
Does this count as breaking the NC ? Should I reset the counter?

[DazT]

Well, I have a slight problem now.. it's got me thinking about her a wee bit more than I would usually. Its her sisters birthday party and she's having a houseparty. When we went on a break one time, she got off with one of my friends (not a close friend, would just talk to him in school) and they got up to some stuff. When we got back together, she told me this and I went crazy.

I'm over it now and I'm now playing in the same football team as the boy that did the badness with my ex. Trouble is, he's been invited to the sisters houseparty and now he'll be there and so will my ex and no doubt they will do the same stuff again!

I know it shouldn't bother me but I just get an awful feeling when I think of it. Worst of it is, I have to work on Sunday so I can't go out and get drunk to just forget it :(

[friend4u178]

DazT
Getting drunk is not the answer anyway , it doesn't make you forget it in fact you end up being more emotional , and then more chance of doing something silly like drunk calling etc.

[talaniman]

he'll be there and so will my ex and no doubt they will do the same stuff again!

That's her business, go home, and watch the playoffs, and have a beer with friends, but no need to get drunk. Get a good nights sleep instead. You'll feel much better the next day, as these things come, and they GO!

[DazT]

No, no, no.. I don't do the whole drowning my sorrows thing. When I'm down or something I try to arrange a party with all my friends and by doing that, it makes me not think about what she's up to.

Anyway, I don't care what she does. It's her life and I'm not apart of that any more (thankfully) so she can do what she wants.

[belightingguy]

Ugh, today was the 3rd day of no contact and the official 2 week mark of my gal and I being split up. I broke no contact today... I had this massive urge to talk with her at work. We started just talking, and then when I had about 3 hours left working, she said she had to come by and get her snowboard boots and we could talk then. I agreed and said we needed to have a massive heart to heart. About an hour before I got off she wrote me saying she would have to cancel because she was feeling sick and we could try to meet up Monday. I said I was sorry that she was feeling sick, and that if she needed someone to take care of her, to let me know. To this she said something like "Dont worry about me! I'll worry about myself enough for everyone else." I replied that now I was worried. She said "I'll be fine. We'll talk later ok?" I am really feeling like there is no hope for us now, and it sucks. Essentially the break up went like this: she made a mistake (the reason she broke up with me), when she realized her mistake, she called me frantically telling me she made a mistake and needed to talk. I blew her off not really understanding how everything was happening, and then the next day she said I completely let her down and she had taken my not calling her as my decision to end things. Completely opposite, I just needed a second to catch my breath. Ultimately, I should have called her, but some stupid part of me told me maybe it would be good for us both to soak things in. I kind of feel to blame; if I had called her, there is a very good chance I wouldn't be posting on here and still would be with her. Argh. Now she's throwing out things like "I don't think I was ready for a relationship in the first place" etc etc. I know she still cares about me, and I have pretty much exhausted myself between trying to get her to snap out of whatever she is doing and being depressed over the whole thing. I'm trying to do all of these things to show her I do still love her like crazy, but I feel like all I'm doing is hurting her in the process. The mature thing to do would be to let her have her space and let her sort things out on her own, and that's what I plan on doing. It just sucks because like I said I know she still has feelings, and the longer she is away the easier it will be for her to decide that she doesn't want to be back together with me whereas I am deeply in love with her, and my feelings aren't going to fade anytime soon. In that regard, there's this huge part of me that wants to keep trying and trying, but I have to let go of that. This blows. I'm tired of losing it every day when I get home from work.. I had to leave my nephews second birthday party yesterday early so I could come home and be myself and cry. I know I'm a man, but God I feel like a little kid. I've been in tons of relationships, and never once have I had one affect me this drastically. I care about her so freakin' much. Bleh. With all of that said, I'm restarting my nc again.

[Nicole0425]

Belight -

I agree. It totally sucks. And it feels like you are just letting them slip away, even though you "know" they love you.

I mean, my boy even told me he loved me as he was breaking up with me. But you know what? If she loved you as much as you think she'd be with you or she'd be back. And if she doesn't come back and if she isn't with you... you deserve someone who loves you every bit as much as you love them.. you know?

It's hard for me to say that, because I feel like you do. But if they really loved us, they'd be with us.. or they'll realize and come crawling back. But hopefully by then, we won't care because they shouldn't haven broken our hearts in the first place.

[belightingguy]

That's the kicker though, is what if she doesn't still love me? I am almost certain she does, and I would wait forever for her, but it's one of those "what ifs?" I don't think I can put all my eggs in one basket on this one. I need to move on. There were several times in the beginning (probably once a month for the first 4 months) that she would do the "I don't know if we're right for eachother" thing. And when all was said and done I would always forgive her and welcome her back in to my life. I just feel kind of betrayed you know? I put so much strength into welcoming this girl back in to my life on several occasions, that it's like a slap in the face that she can just move on and forget. Maybe she was right all along and I should have jumped ship. I accepted her insecurities when maybe I shouldn't have. Hopefully the next time she loves she'll remember all I did to let her know I wasn't going to ever leave her, and will show her next guy that kind of dedication.

The sad part is, if she did come crawling back, I would probably take her back in a heartbeat. At least I say that now, who knows what I'll feel like in the future. My heart is just crushed though, and I really hope I don't have to go through this ever again.

And I agree with you about the "if she loved you so much" part. You're entirely right. Maybe that will be my motto for awhile. It's just really hard. I'm 28 and she's 26, and we've talked about marriage countless times. How we want our house, kids, etc. I put so much emotion in to the whole relationship, only for her to be able to walk away so easily. I really just wish we could hug it out, speak our piece, and move on with what we had. It's a sick world! Thanks for your response Nicole.

[LostInHisEyez]

I went 2 months of NC with my ex of 2 years, I initiated it though. Because I smacked him in the face :] [[[LOOOONNG STORY]]]] but yeah 2 months, and lets say a couple days after that though. Then suddenly out of NOWHERE I see a note, for me, by him. He says he wants to talk again, but doesn't want to be with me. [[[[that was about a month ago]]]] and lol, even though he claimed he didn't want to be with me [[[[for the sake of being a macho guy and not showing emotions]]]] we got back together. Its funny how love is, the minute you're ready to walk out, they come strolling back in. but I'm happy, he's happy, we're happy. And I guess that's all that matters :]

[friend4u178]

That's the kicker though, is what if she doesn't still love me? I am almost certain she does.

Like Nicole said , if she loved you she would still be with you. Honestly ask yourself , would you leave someone you loved??

I put so much emotion in to the whole relationship, only for her to be able to walk away so easily.

The reason it looks so easy for her is she has thought about this for a while , nobody just wakes up one morning and thinks I'm leaving this relationship today. Therefore emotionally she is well ahead of you at the moment.