[Laydee Artois]

But then again... when I'm at work.. I come home from work and just want to chill out, watch TV etc. and that's when I don't mind when he rings me.
Which is the same for him... when he comes home from work he wants to have dinner then sit and chill. Normally he doesn't finish work until 10pm... which is why he rings me so late. It doesn't bother me that he rings me late because I'm always awake anyway. (I find it hard to sleep at night; have done since I was very young).
I have just spent the whole week with him.. but he had to go back up to go to work today. I hated saying goodbye.. he went bk to scotland on Tuesday.. and all I've done since he went home is cry. Going to bed without him being in it and holding me is the worst thing in the world to me. Which is why I... crave? Him ringing me.

I don't know.
I don't know why I posted this in the first place.. I'm just making myself get in a worse state lol.

[Rockstar714]

You are not obsessive. You are a 17 year old who is having a long distant relationship with a 20 year old (in my country,that would border on illegal especially since it's been going on since you were what 15?) who is calling you obssesive because he only wants to talk to you when he wants to.
It is perfectly normal for young couples to be talking to each other more often that once a day.

I agree with you 100%, homegirl. It does seem kind of odd that he only calls you once a day, I mean at least he's calling you, but diverting your calls to his voicemail and <b>only speaking to you when he <i>wants</i> to</b>, that's not right. He can't be that busy. I'd be kind of skeptical of this, I really would. Homegirl has a huge point, you are only 17, he is 20 and you are miles apart. I know its not something that you want to hear, but there has got to be an underlying issue here. It almost sounds like he's having his cake and eating it too.

I'm curious, has he given you a ring, have you met each other's parents yet?

[Homegirl 50]

Your obviously not understanding what im saying.
i DONT want to meet anyone else. i love him. i want to be with him for the rest of my life.
Apart from the phone thing we are absolutely fine.
I know its annoying him, you dont know what im like so your bound to say that lol. Im honestly very obsessive when it comes to ringing him. and i understand why he gets fed up because if he was doing it to me i would have told him where to go a long time ago.
I just need a way to stop being obsessive all the time. He said he doesnt mind me ringing and texting him... but not at indecent hours and while hes at work. which you must see is understandable.
Im not blaming myself and im not stickng up for him.
But im the one that needs to stop being obsessive and change. not him.

You are obsessing because you are young and your boyfriend is in another country. You are feeling very insecure. Maybe a bit of counseling will help.
You have this romantic picture in your mind of life with him and you don't even want to entertain the thought that it may not work, which is where a lot of your obsession is coming from.
I can't tell you how to not be desperate. I can only tell you what I think and you are not wanting to hear that.

[Laydee Artois]

Yes I have an engagement ring.
Yes we've met each others parents.
He stays with me and my parents one week, and I stay with him and his the week after, etc.

He doesn't only ring me once a day. He rings me on a morning when he gets up for work at 7am.. when I get up to go to work too.. then he rings me on a night after work... and texts me during the day when he's on a break. But apart from that then yea.

[Homegirl 50]

But then again... when im at work.. i come home from work and just want to chill out, watch tv etc. and thats when i dont mind when he rings me.
Which is the same for him... when he comes home from work he wants to have dinner then sit and chill. Normally he doesnt finish work until 10pm...which is why he rings me so late. It doesnt bother me that he rings me late because im always awake anyway. (i find it hard to sleep at night; have done since i was very young).
I have just spent the whole week with him.. but he had to go back up to go to work today. I hated saying goodbye.. he went bk to scotland on tuesday.. and all ive done since he went home is cry. Going to bed without him being in it and holding me is the worst thing in the world to me. Which is why i... crave? him ringing me.

I dont know.
I dont know why i posted this in the first place.. im just making myself get in a worse state lol.

Do you live with your parents?

[Laydee Artois]

I know I don't like what your saying partly. But that doesn't mean I don't undersand or know were yor coming from.
Because believe me, I know exactly what you mean.
And yeah, maybe it won't work out...
But at the minute, like I said, we are great aprt from the phone thing.

Its like right now... he textme at 5pm, I haven't heard from him since... he has to be up for work early tomorrow.. and now I'm starting to get irritable.. because now I'm thinking.. when/or is he going to ring me?. u get what I mean?

[Rockstar714]

It really just sounds like you need to focus your attention on a hobby or a class or something, then. That's really the only way to not be obsessed is to FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION SOMEPLACE ELSE. When you're obsessed with something all your attention is on that one thing, so pick up an afterschool activity, an gym membership, a book, knitting, scrapbooking, something to divert your attention

[Laydee Artois]

And yes I live with my parents.

[Laydee Artois]

Well.. thanks for all your advice. I really do appreciate it. And don't think I haven't took any of it in.. because I have. Whether I liked it or not.

One more thing... what do I do now?. he said earlier he'd ring me tonight... so do I try ringing him... or leave it and see if he rings?

[Homegirl 50]

Yes i have an engagement ring.
Yes we've met each others parents.
He stays with me and my parents one week, and i stay with him and his the week after, and etc.

He doesnt only ring me once a day. He rings me on a morning when he gets up for work at 7am.. when i get up to go to work too.. then he rings me on a night after work... and texts me during the day when hes on a break. but apart from that then yea.

Now first you said you only talk to him and night and he doesn't text, now you say you're communicating with him several times during the day. Which is it?
I'm not understanding this whole relationship. You're sleeping together at each other's parents house... You are a 17 year old playing adult games and you are confused and desperate.
I have no clue what to tell you that won't make you mad. So I'm going to just stay out of this. If you were my 17 year old daughter, some 20 year old guy would not be sleeping with you in my house.

[Homegirl 50]

Well.. thanks for all your advice. i really do appreciate it. And dont think i havent took any of it in..because i have. whether i liked it or not.

One more thing... what do i do now? ... he said earlier he'd ring me tonight... so do i try ringing him... or leave it and see if he rings?

Let him call you.

[Rockstar714]

LEAVE IT!
If he says he'll call you, don't call him. Ever. No matter what. Lol, you don't want him to think you're desperate and needy, do you? Lol

Just kidding, but I've learned that if a guy says he'll call you, don't call him first, its one of the biggest turn offs for them.

[Laydee Artois]

Well.. I got a text message delivery report.. which means his phones on.. which is a start I guess.
Thanks. Ill wait then. He always rings me before 1am. So if he hasn't rang me before then, then it means he won't ring me tonight.. which will really make me angry lol.

And towhat you said homegirl.. here it is legal to have sex when you're sixteen. I pay my mum money to stay here, I buy my own food,clothes etc. She loves my fiancé to bits. Even if she wouldn't let me sleep with him, I would anyway because its got nothing to do with her.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, I will say this, heavens only knows that someone had better not call me while I am working several times a day. And to be honest many men hate to talk on the phone a lot, I know I am one of those, and as for as text, I think I have done 3 my entire life, if someone needs to talk, tey can call. He is still calling, so if you "need" to talk, you write it down, all day all the things you wanted to tell him and send it to him in a email or tell him about it when he calls.

But yes age has a lot to do with it,

[Homegirl 50]

[QUOTE=Laydee Artois]well.. I got a text message delivery report.. which means his phones on.. which is a start I guess.
Thanks. Ill wait then. He always rings me before 1am. So if he hasn't rang me before then, then it means he won't ring me tonight.. which will really make me angry lol.

And towhat you said homegirl.. here it is legal to have sex when you're sixteen. I pay my mum money to stay here, I buy my own food,clothes etc. She loves my fiancé to bits. Even if she wouldnt let me sleep with him, i would anyway because its got nothing to do with her.[/QUOTE]
It does have something to do with her because she is your mother and it is her home. It is called respect.
At any rate good luck.

[talaniman]

if he doesn't answer my texts or diverts my calls.. it makes me ring and text him more. Hes told me it annoys him.. and i know I'm going to lose him if i carry on

I think you have way too much time on your hands, to sit and be this OBSESSED with speaking to some one. I know about that wanting to be together stuff, especially with the distance, but you must at least try to restrain yourself, since you know it annoys him. My gosh young lady, can't you think of something else to do. If not you will make both of you miserable. Make a list of the things you could, or should do, and then add things you enjoy, and instead of pining for his presence, get busy. Ask your mom about things like this, as you are young, and know nothing, so be willing to learn. Now get busy with that list. Life is more than love, and kisses my dear, its some hard work.